Jokes that push the envelope
 

I always thought the Christa McCullough jokes were over the line (but funny). I need to feed my misanthropy so I am sure you heartless bastards can come up with some goodies. I'll start with a classic:

What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in my basement.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

www.dead-baby-joke.com

Edited because I retarded up the URL

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
www.dead-baby-joke.com

Edited because I retarded up the URL

[/ QUOTE ]

first jokes that popped into my head actually when i saw the thread title

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Someone posted a joke here a few weeks back, and I think it applies.

Disclaimer: I found this hilarious and have since retold it numerous times.


A pedophile and a 6 year old are holding hands and walking into the woods as the sun is setting.
The 6 year old looks up at the pedo and says "Mister, I'm scared."
The pedo says " You're scared?! How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of these woods alone...


*rimshot*

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

the hellen keller ones are inappropriate to some...

so are some deaqd baby jokes and racial jokes...

Q: How do you make a little girl cry twice?
A: <font color="white"> Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear </font>

Q: What do you tell the black Jew?
A: <font color="white"> get to the back of the oven </font>

inappropriate? probably.
funny? yup.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

"Christa McCullough jokes "

ive never heard one...start telling jokes please...

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

this thread wont last long, heh


Q:Whats the difference between pizza and a jew?
A: <font color="white"> Pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven </font>

Q:Whats the difference between a catholic priest and acne?
A: <font color="white"> Acne waits until you are 14 to come on your face </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Haha durkah, nice. A couple of gems:

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What does JFK Jr. miss most about the Vineyard?

The landing.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

I always enjoy getting all indignant when someone mentions the holocaust and saying, "HEY! My grandfather died in the holocaust! He slipped and fell off a guard tower."

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
I always enjoy getting all indignant when someone mentions the holocaust and saying, "HEY! My grandfather died in the holocaust! He slipped and fell off a guard tower."

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omg, thats awesome....im gunna start using that!!

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

See Here

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
What does JFK Jr. miss most about the Vineyard?

The landing.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's black and blue and doesn't want to have sex?
<font color="white">a rape victim </font>
<font color="black"> </font>

What's red and can't turn around in a hallway?
<font color="white"> a baby with a spear through its head </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Q:What does WTC stand for?
A: <font color="white">What Trade Centre? </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's the best thing about twenty eight year olds?
There's twenty of them.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
Q:What does WTC stand for?
A: <font color="white">What Trade Centre? </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Q: Why are there so many battered women shelters?
A: <font color="white">BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T LISTEN </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing; you done told the bitch twice already.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

"What happened to your arm?"
Oh, I was having sex with my girlfriend and the crib broke.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds?
There's twenty of them.


[/ QUOTE ]

FYP..... mondo

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Tasmania is a part of Australia known for incest jokes. You can insert appropriate location as needed.

How does a Tasmanian know when his mother's on the rags?

His brothers dick tastes funny.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Jesus

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's the difference between a burrito and a baby?
A: <font color="white">I don't cum on my burrito before I eat it. </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's the cruelest way to kill a fox?

A: <font color="white">Cut his leg off and make him run across Canada.</font>

Sadly out of date now, but:
Why didn't Superman save the woman tied to the traintracks?
A: <font color="white">Because he's in a [censored] wheelchair</font>.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

I don't get the fox one, if there's anything to get...

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
I don't get the fox one, if there's anything to get...

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http://www.medcalf.ca/Pics/TerryFox.jpg

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's the difference between a burrito and a baby?
A: <font color="white">I don't cum on my burrito before I eat it. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha - love it

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
Haha durkah, nice. A couple of gems:

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.


[/ QUOTE ]

One scoop of ice cream, two scoops of dead baby.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
Someone posted a joke here a few weeks back, and I think it applies.

Disclaimer: I found this hilarious and have since retold it numerous times.


A pedophile and a 6 year old are holding hands and walking into the woods as the sun is setting.
The 6 year old looks up at the pedo and says "Mister, I'm scared."
The pedo says " You're scared?! How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of these woods alone...


[/ QUOTE ]
I'll take credit for that.
Got it from here.

My favorite:
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<font color="white"> Crib Death.</font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

How do scientists know that Christa McCullough had dandruff?

<font color="white">
They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
</font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't get the fox one, if there's anything to get...

[/ QUOTE ]
http://www.medcalf.ca/Pics/TerryFox.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]


a wicki would have been better

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Whats the difference between Christopher Reeve and OJ Simpson?

OJ walked and Reeve got the electric chair.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's black and blue and doesn't want to have sex?
<font color="white">a rape victim </font>
<font color="black"> </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Way off the original and funnier answer:

<font color="white">The 4-year old girl tied up in my trunk. </font>

Also --

What's the best part about showering with an 8-year old?

Answer: <font color="white">You can slick his hair back and make him look seven. </font>

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

Answer:<font color="white">An erection. </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's black and crispy and sits at the top of the stairs?

Christopher Reeve in a house fire.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

How can you tell a black man is lying?
His lips are moving

What's the difference between a [censored] and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Hes black

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesnt know hes black

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

[ QUOTE ]


What's the best part about showering with an 8-year old?

Answer: <font color="white">You can slick his hair back and make him look seven. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]


way off the original and funnier joke

Whats the best thing about showering with an 8 year old girl?

answer: <font color="white"> You can slick her hair back and she looks like an 8 year old boy. </font>


similarly

Whats the best thing about having sex with 8 year old girl?

answer: <font color="white"> You can roll her over and pretened she's an 8 year old boy </font>

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza?

pizza can feed a family of four

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson likes to f**k young boys.

Re: Jokes that push the envelope
 

Q: Why do they call the NYPD "New York's Finest"?
A: <font color="white"> Because after 9/11 you can pass them through a sieve </font>