Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

Coming into college, I remember thinking about the brilliant professors/students I was about to meet. I also remember my disapointment upon hearing these gems:

Ethics 101: My professor is off-the-boat Irish. Raised in Dublin, Trinity University, etc. One day. . .
Girl: When did you come to America? You don't have an accent.
Boy: Are you deaf? He's obviously got an accent.
Girl: I just don't hear it.
Boy: Of course he does; he says Kant instead of can't.
Me: It's pronounced Kant.
Boy: No. . that's just his accent.

Baroque art history: The class preceeding ours is Arabic.
Girl: (pointing to what's on the board) What is that?
Me: what?
Girl: What language is that? German?
Me: It's Arabic.
Girl: Oh my god! That's Arabic?!

Anyone else remember awesomely dumb collegiate quotes?

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

im color blind to red, and shade blind on top of that. at this party i went to freshman year, i was talkin to a few girls, and somehow it came up that i was colorblind to red. one of the girls then asks me, dead serious, "If i wear a red shirt, and a red bra...can u see my chest?"

i didnt kno how to respond...

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

There's so much you could have done here [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
im color blind to red, and shade blind on top of that. at this party i went to freshman year, i was talkin to a few girls, and somehow it came up that i was colorblind to red. one of the girls then asks me, dead serious, "If i wear a red shirt, and a red bra...can u see my chest?"

i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

"Yes, but not your nipples."

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

There's so much you could have done here [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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split, this is a huge letdown, u know how much potential was there, waiting for u??

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

The only thing she was "dead serious" about was giving you some action if you only hadn't screwed it up so badly [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

it took my advisor a solid 15 mins of writing down, using a calculator, and being frusterated trying to calculate my GPA and a few other things for graduation.

not to mention he was hitting on me in the process.. real classy

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

Classes within my major have shown the following;

Class participation = 1 / IQ

Leads to some really, really awful debates.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

4-5 people in my calc class cannot solve this without deep thought:

-2 - 4 = ?

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

There's so much you could have done here [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

split, this is a huge letdown, u know how much potential was there, waiting for u??

[/ QUOTE ]

ur assumin girl was good lookin. plus, had a GF at that time...so wasnt happenin

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

My stats teacher said "we are gonna massage the numbers"...

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

Colorblind as well, I tend to get the "do you have a color tv line".
Maybe I should just start answering "No, but I can see your nipples"

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
The only thing she was "dead serious" about was giving you some action if you only hadn't screwed it up so badly [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

SERISOUSLY

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

one time this kid called my teacher a dingleberry

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
im color blind to red, and shade blind on top of that. at this party i went to freshman year, i was talkin to a few girls, and somehow it came up that i was colorblind to red. one of the girls then asks me, dead serious, "If i wear a red shirt, and a red bra...can u see my chest?"

i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

That is freakin' hilarious!

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

An Econ prof gave our class a take-home midterm, and after class the idiot next to me asked me if it was an open-book exam.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
My stats teacher said "we are gonna massage the numbers"...

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a pretty common phrase. It means to get the statistics to do what you want them to do and/or fudging them a little. Not dumb.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

It's not a statement, but there were 3 or 4 people who didn't bring pencils to the GRE subject test I took this morning.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

"But how much do you lose?"

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
im color blind to red, and shade blind on top of that. at this party i went to freshman year, i was talkin to a few girls, and somehow it came up that i was colorblind to red. one of the girls then asks me, dead serious, "If i wear a red shirt, and a red bra...can u see my chest?"

i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

"Yes, but not your nipples."

[/ QUOTE ]
you are a genius

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

There's so much you could have done here [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

split, this is a huge letdown, u know how much potential was there, waiting for u??

[/ QUOTE ]

ur assumin girl was good lookin. plus, had a GF at that time...so wasnt happenin

[/ QUOTE ]

Ugly people can't afford to be that dumb.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
4-5 people in my calc class cannot solve this without deep thought:

-2 - 4 = ?

[/ QUOTE ]

but doesnt 2+2=4?!?! or is that just another decieving marketing technique?!?!

ughh im so lost!

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
Classes within my major have shown the following;

Class participation = 1 / IQ

Leads to some really, really awful debates.

[/ QUOTE ]
QFT, if I had a dollar for everytime I punched someone in the face for saying something stupid during class I would have no dollars and a pocket full of broken dreams.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

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"But how much do you lose?"

[/ QUOTE ]

It is astounding how often I hear this.

Shocking stupidity.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i didnt kno how to respond...

[/ QUOTE ]

There's so much you could have done here [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

split, this is a huge letdown, u know how much potential was there, waiting for u??

[/ QUOTE ]

ur assumin girl was good lookin. plus, had a GF at that time...so wasnt happenin

[/ QUOTE ]

Ugly people can't afford to be that dumb.

[/ QUOTE ]

incorrect. tho i was surprised natural selection hadnt killd her off yet myself.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

"Yeah the casino has a 2.7% edge at roulette, but that's not much considering my skill at the game."

"Why do millions of people play roulette if you can't win at it then!"

My friend who's doing Medicine at a good university said this, when I was trying to explain to him that just because he won $2k at roulette this week didn't mean he could win in the long run.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

"I won't go schizo, will I?"

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

Midterm exam. 2 essay questions.

Dumb Girl: Does it have to be in complete sentences?

Prof: They have to be in essay format.

Dumb Girl: So is point form ok?

Prof: (looking flustered) no, I need complete sentences.

Dumb Girl: So, point form in sentence form is ok?

Prof: (fed up at this point) If you don't know what an essay is, you may as well leave now and save yourself the frustration.

Dumb Girl: An essay can be point form.

Prof: Do it however you want.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
An Econ prof gave our class a take-home midterm, and after class the idiot next to me asked me if it was an open-book exam.

[/ QUOTE ]

um yeah his question is perfectly legit, i've had both open and closed book take homes

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
An Econ prof gave our class a take-home midterm, and after class the idiot next to me asked me if it was an open-book exam.

[/ QUOTE ]

um yeah his question is perfectly legit, i've had both open and closed book take homes

[/ QUOTE ]

Does the prof go home with you?

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

what is a closed book take home exam? is it scout's honor?

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

At Caltech, all finals are take-home, and you're told the amount of time you get, whether you get to use a book/calculator, etc. It's just an honor system. The question is completely legitimate.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

that is weird. everyone must cheat.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

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At Caltech, all finals are take-home, and you're told the amount of time you get, whether you get to use a book/calculator, etc. It's just an honor system. The question is completely legitimate.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that just sounds like lazy professors. Who would be dumb enough not to open their book on a take home exam. (or be dumb enough to believe students wouldn't)

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

homecoming game in freshman year, im there with a roommate and a couple girls...

about half way through the 2nd quarter, one of the girls looks bored and asks

"how many quarters in a game?"

i run off to laugh by the beer fountain

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
At Caltech, all finals are take-home, and you're told the amount of time you get, whether you get to use a book/calculator, etc. It's just an honor system. The question is completely legitimate.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that just sounds like lazy professors. Who would be dumb enough not to open their book on a take home exam. (or be dumb enough to believe students wouldn't)

[/ QUOTE ]

I had take home closed book exams too. Basicaly it's one of those situations where the questions that are asked arent really fact based, so the book doesn't really help, and also it's pretty obvious if you did use the book.

The take home exam is given over basically 24 hours, its pretty long and basically amounts to 3 of 4 long essay questions. Using the book to tell me about Macbeth doesn't really help, saying "on page 35, he says blah blah" doesn't really help for talking about the themes etc. It comes out to being the same thing as writing a 6 page paper or so, except basically you're answering more than one question, and unlike in an exam you can make sure its coherent and does't have spelling mistakes etc, but makes you think about more things than a paper would (because there's a bunch of different questions).

I suppose you could try to read all 12 books that were assigned in that 24 hours and go from there, but its really not gonna help.

Also, people have 4 or so other finals to study for over a week or so, it's bad to spend too much time on one subject so that sort of limits things.

Incidently, the honor code is taken very seriously at WF, which also kind of sucks because if you get accused, there's basically a presumption of guilt.

Davidson has all take home finals iirc, and from what I've heard cheating is rampant, so meh.

Most of my finals were barely proctored if at all. Unproctored exams are pretty common at small liberal arts type schools.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
homecoming game in freshman year, im there with a roommate and a couple girls...

about half way through the 2nd quarter, one of the girls looks bored and asks

"how many quarters in a game?"

i run off to laugh by the beer fountain

[/ QUOTE ]

You have beer FOUNTAINS at school? Like, you could jump in and splash around in beer. Or is it like a water "bubbler" except it dispenses beer.

I would have just laughed in her face, puss.

Also, I was under the impression it's an NCAA rule or something not to sell beer at stadiums. They definatly didn't sell beer at mine, or at at least a couple big name schools I know of.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
homecoming game in freshman year, im there with a roommate and a couple girls...

about half way through the 2nd quarter, one of the girls looks bored and asks

"how many quarters in a game?"

i run off to laugh by the beer fountain

[/ QUOTE ]

You have beer FOUNTAINS at school? Like, you could jump in and splash around in beer. Or is it like a water "bubbler" except it dispenses beer.

I would have just laughed in her face, puss.

Also, I was under the impression it's an NCAA rule or something not to sell beer at stadiums. They definatly didn't sell beer at mine, or at at least a couple big name schools I know of.

[/ QUOTE ]

More liek a bubbler, I go to school in canada. I didn't want to laugh in her face b/c i had a thing for her friend.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

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Also, I was under the impression it's an NCAA rule or something not to sell beer at stadiums. They definatly didn't sell beer at mine, or at at least a couple big name schools I know of.

[/ QUOTE ]

Rumor has it only 4 college stadiums left that serve alcohol. Thankfully Hughes stadium at CSU is one of them. Bad part, the Rams suck so bad you need the alcohol to actually enjoy the game.

Re: Dumb statements you didn\'t think you\'d hear in college
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
homecoming game in freshman year, im there with a roommate and a couple girls...

about half way through the 2nd quarter, one of the girls looks bored and asks

"how many quarters in a game?"

i run off to laugh by the beer fountain

[/ QUOTE ]

You have beer FOUNTAINS at school? Like, you could jump in and splash around in beer. Or is it like a water "bubbler" except it dispenses beer.

I would have just laughed in her face, puss.

Also, I was under the impression it's an NCAA rule or something not to sell beer at stadiums. They definatly didn't sell beer at mine, or at at least a couple big name schools I know of.

[/ QUOTE ]

More liek a bubbler, I go to school in canada. I didn't want to laugh in her face b/c i had a thing for her friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

They have college football in Canada?

You actually have water fountains that dispense beer?