Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

if this has been done before it wasn't in the last 4 years in OOT. Idea was stolen from another forum which I believe to be filled with a generally older age group than OOT.

http://img78.imageshack.us/img78/7019/searchrr5.jpg

Mine:

On my street there is this amazing little Thai restaurant (Bangkok Thai) just a stones throw from where we live. FFK and I (used to) frequent on random dinner occasions when we are too tired/hungover to cook or just in the mood for some great Thai cuisine. One random Wednesday back in May we called in an order for carryout. Twenty minutes later and very excited, we arrive to pick it up. Its pouring down rain so we drove and burst in the door to find the tiny (5' x 9') waiting area packed with people. We walked right into the middle of the very quiet quasi-circle (only space available)...standing room only (4 chairs against the window were already taken).

"OK, time to find the host/ess and inform them that we are here for our order", I think to myself. SOP, no? Well, it isn't long before I spot a 'thai-looking' man directly facing and looking at me with what I interpret as a 'what can I do for you facial expression'. Before realizing that he isn't wearing any distinguishing employee clothes, I look him in the eye and blurt out, "I'm here to pick up a take out order for <my last name>". He looks at me puzzled for a second and then replies, "I don't work here".

Embarrassment immediately sets in and everything and everyone in the room becomes a blur. Thump-thump... Thump-thump... Thump-thump -- I can here my heart beat. Are my eyes watering? I can't see anything. Does my girlfriend feel the water dripping from the palm of my hand holding hers?

5 minutes later (a second or two in reality) a big middle-aged man with a beard sitting with his blond haired wife just beside me, who apparently read the situation the fastest, bursts out with laughter. Senses return and I make an attempt to regain composure and utter as best of an apology as I can muster up at the time..."I'm very sorry". He nods and silence returns to the waiting area. It is 8 minutes later (after standing next to each other the whole time) the 'thai-looking' man and his buddy get their food and leave.

Needless to say we have never returned...

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

Jesus dude....you act like you desecrated the holy Thai restaurant by squatting over and [censored] on the floor. You made a mistake...no reason to freak out. You apologized. I don't see why you could never go back there. If it's as good as you say it is this is a bit extreme..no?

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

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I don't see why you could never go back there.

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Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

Sam - it was embarrassing and maybe you meant to say "Jesus dude...you were a little too descriptive". No apologies necessary.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

obviously, this wasn't me, but for the 3 people on the internet who haven't read this, it's pretty awesome.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

when I was younger, we went to this fancy restaurant with my parents. When they brought a salad and put it in front of me instead of my mom, I shouted, "This isn't mine" and just threw it over my head backwards and it landed on some lady's lap.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

If this honest mistake caused this much stress for you, how do you ever leave the house?

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
when I was younger, we went to this fancy restaurant with my parents. When they brought a salad and put it in front of me instead of my mom, I shouted, "This isn't mine" and just threw it over my head backwards and it landed on some lady's lap.

[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds more embarassing for your parents than for you.

If my son did this, I would burst out laughing. I am a bad parent.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

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If my son did this, I would BEAT HIM SILLY

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meh, I'm asian :P

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[ QUOTE ]
when I was younger, we went to this fancy restaurant with my parents. When they brought a salad and put it in front of me instead of my mom, I shouted, "This isn't mine" and just threw it over my head backwards and it landed on some lady's lap.

[/ QUOTE ]
haha, a real LOL

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

A few months ago I was at a nice-ish restaurant for dinner with my wife. I had ordered the steak, and had a small piece of it on my fork as I was talking to her. I tend to "talk with my hands" quite a bit, so I was moving the fork around (with meat attached) as I was emphasizing a point.

Sure enough, the meat flew off my fork and landed on the table next to us -- right between an older couple who had just been seated. I apologized profusely as I got up and grabbed the piece of meat off of their table.

The thing that pissed me off a little later is that the older couple acted quite offended and they both glared at me as I apologized...like I'd done this on purpose. No sense of humour, apparently.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

AEKD,

"Needless to say we have never returned..."

I'm also confused by this.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
AEKD,

"Needless to say we have never returned..."

I'm also confused by this.

[/ QUOTE ]

They lost his business for embarassing him so badly.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
AEKD,

"Needless to say we have never returned...for fear of running into that same guy again waiting for food."

I'm also confused by this.

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe I'm the only one who feels that it was rude as hell to assume the only thai-looking guy in the waiting area worked at the thai restaurant?

immediately after the incident, the time spent standing beside the guy was awful. He was not happy about what happened and gave me the evil eye every time I looked in his direction.

for all the crap that I have taken in this thread, I will go in and eat there tonight..sit down style.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

this cant be true, no one wears sweatpans on a date.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
for all the crap that I have taken in this thread, I will go in and eat there tonight..sit down style.

[/ QUOTE ]

Try to not to do anything racist.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://home.kc.rr.com/emison/ryans.html

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Thanks, I've read the story before, but it's been a while, good stuff.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
http://home.kc.rr.com/emison/ryans.html

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Thanks, I've read the story before, but it's been a while, good stuff.

[/ QUOTE ]

I read this story years ago...and it still made me sick to read it again. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

Shajen, CaptZ, Hopey - nice stories.

Shajen - sic

CaptZ - i hate kids (and feel they have no place) in nice restaurants

Hopey - old ppl are intolerant and bad tippers.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

when i was like 7 years old i was at a sports bar type restaurant with my family, and i see a room off to the side with arcade games, basketball hoops, etc. so i go running off into the room and ran full speed into a glass door in full view of the entire restaurant.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

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immediately after the incident, the time spent standing beside the guy was awful. He was not happy about what happened and gave me the evil eye every time I looked in his direction.

[/ QUOTE ]

You made a stupid mistake and apologized to him for it. If he was going to act like a douche afterwards and "give you the evil eye", that's his problem. He needs to lighten up.

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i hate kids (and feel they have no place) in nice restaurants

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I love kids, but I know what you mean. I love my 3.5 year old son more than anything, but I realize that sometimes the outside world needs to be insulated from his lunacy.

On the other hand, people who go to a blatant family restaurant and get mad that there's a lot of kids there can blow me. If you can't afford to take your date anywhere nicer than Chuck-E-Cheeze, don't get mad at a bunch of kids for being, well, kids.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

I have 2 kids, and would not take them anywhere nicer than applebees on a regular basis, asctually took my son who was 6 at the time to JAX (a super high end restuarant locally) for brunch with my parents and grandma. He was good until he found out that they had a trout stream outside, then we went out and looked at the fish for an hour till everyone else was done eating.

Would not repeat that experience. Kids have their place, fine restuarants ain't it.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
http://home.kc.rr.com/emison/ryans.html

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Thanks, I'm one of those three people.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
for all the crap that I have taken in this thread, I will go in and eat there tonight..sit down style.

[/ QUOTE ]

Try to not to do anything racist.

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lol I will be on my best behavior.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

This ones easy. My senior year in college I went on a date with this girl to a fondu restaraunt. I can't recall the name but it had the burner built into the table. Being the engineer that I am I had to take a peak under and see how this was setup. My date was wearing a knee length dress. Game over no continues.

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Not quite a restaurant, but I had never been in a coffee shop until I was about 18 and my first trip was pretty embarassing. I looked at the menu and had no idea what anything was, so I ordered an espresso to go. The guy gives it to me in a regular sized paper cup and said it was $4 or whatever. I immediately assumed he was messing wtih me. I asked, "where's the rest of it?" to which he responds that was it. I'm totally confused, feeling ripped off and tell him to stop [censored] with me and give me my drink. Other people around are visibly laughing at me and I assumed it was because this guy was making some kind of joke about giving me this tiny drink. I demand that he give me a full cup of espresso, which he finally does. I take a sip, declare it the worst coffee I've ever had and set it on the counter and leave.

I mentioned the incident to a roommate later that day and found out what a retard I was.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

w,

That's pretty funny.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
This ones easy. My senior year in college I went on a date with this girl to a fondu restaraunt. I can't recall the name but it had the burner built into the table. Being the engineer that I am I had to take a peak under and see how this was setup. My date was wearing a knee length dress. Game over no continues.

[/ QUOTE ]
Haha, awesome. What did she say? Did you apologize or did you not figure it out until later? Also, panties or no panties?

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

I am the only one who's ever "yes" to the "Super Salad" offer?

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

When I was six years old, my parents took me out to eat dinner. The waitress persuaded me to drink strawberry milk, which I had never had before. Loved it, sucked down four or five glasses of the stuff....and promptly threw it up all over the table before dessert.

In high school, I was at an IHOP and dropped a dollar bill on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, but didn't notice that the waitress had just put my iced tea on the table. I sat back up to show everybody my dollar in dramatic fashion, and knocked my tea all over the table....and all over them.

A couple years ago, I took a girl on a first date to a pretty nice restaurant. She made me laugh so hard that snot came out of my nose. I tried to play it off, but to no avail. Fortunately, I think, she let me take her on a second date.

ScottieK

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

Mine was also at a fondu restaurant. Half way through my meal with my gf I ran out of things to say and randomly blurted out, "So, what turns you on". Just as I say this our waiter conveniently comes in right as I'm saying this and after a couple seconds of awkward silence says to my gf..."and your answer is?"

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Haha, awesome. What did she say? Did you apologize or did you not figure it out until later? Also, panties or no panties?

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She didn't say anything, but it was probably to save face since we were in a nice restaurant. She had a startled wtf look about her. I didn't think about it myself until later. Hell, I didn't even look at her crotch nor think about how perverted it was until a friend asked how the date went. Sucks too, she was rich, pretty hot, and fun to play tennis with.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

[ QUOTE ]
w,

That's pretty funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

agreed.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards.
It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.

We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you -- in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however.

I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first, I thought it was only gas which could have been passed in batches right at the table without to much concern. Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress...

I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom.

Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good [censored], but in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagional wirecutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a [censored].

I went to the normal stall.

In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions.

I began "The Move."

For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain. Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances.

There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of [censored] at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.

I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little bastards attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall.

Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch. What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can.

In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crotched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my esophagus. Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precidence over [censored] no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since [censored] will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted.

At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of [censored] the consistancy of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The [censored] wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initally hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down.

Recall that when that event occured, I was already half-way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the [censored] wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls, unlike what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of [censored] remaining on about one-third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon.

Now, back to the vomit...

While all the [censored] was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed.

OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though. Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweat pants with elastic on the ankles.

In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet.

In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in [censored] that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid [censored]. All while thick [censored] was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat.

And there was no ****ing toilet paper.

What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign.
About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to being the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing. She began to ask for an explination as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left.

The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage of just slightly above. At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for his actions. He hooked up a hose.

Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. Fortunately, I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels. Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way.

When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door.

The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten.

-DG

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

nice post, meat.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

my friend in high school who was a foreign exchange student who had just been over here went to dinner w/ his host family.

they ordered and the waitress asked him "do you want the soup or salad?" and he said "yes." the waitress stared blankly at him and repeated again, "soup or salad?" and he more firmly said "YES."

a bit embarrassed his host sister said, "just get him the soup." he was upset and stopped everything and told his host sister to the side, "no, i want the super salad."

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

OMFG....that is the grossest, yet funniest thing I've read in a long time. I wouldnt know what the hell to do if that happened to me.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

That's just the entire text of the story Shajen linked to above.

Re: Your Most Embarrassing Restaurant Moment(s)
 

On a cruise, so we have the same seats for a week. There are 150 Argentine girls on the cruise with their families celebrating their 15th birthdays (I think I was 17 at the time). One of the hottest ones (or sister of one of the 15 yr olds) keeps looking my way at dinner all the time. My dad notices first, but I blow him off, but I catch her at it a few times. She is even pointing and giggling with her friends. So I learn a little bit of Spanish to try to talk to her some when I see her later that night.

Eventually I try to approach her but the language barrier is too much, and nothing really happens. By about the 4th day, our waiter comes over after getting a picture with the girl in question, and informed us that the girl had a huge crush on him and wanted a picture with him. Turns out she was only looking over when our waiter was nearby.

Oops!