downswing = depression
 

so basically i have let poker control my emotions over the past week.

i started off by depositing 20k into pokerstars and ran it up to 50k in one night playing 25-50nl. then, that same night, i lost all of my profit and was left with my original 20k. meh, variance. not the first time i have won/lost 30k. pretty standard 6buyin swing in agressive NL games. my mood: indifferent.

the next day i play/run very well and run my bankroll up to ~90k. so awesome. i begin thinking i am the king of poker. this is so easy. i am going to be a millionaire before i know it. i go to my classes and am more outgoing than usual and generally upbeat.

next day i have the worst downswing of my life (-85k) and feel like absolute crap. i sleep in till ~1pm the next day and skip my classes. i make it to my classes the next day but basically feel like a bum and have no enthusiasm about my work etc.

then i re-deposit more money (30k) and run/play good again. i got it back up to about 80k (so a total profit of 30k after original deposited money) and, of course, i start feeling great again. i decide to continue playing through the night and, of course, lose it all.

2 more days in a row, i slept through classes and feel like a piece of trash. looks like i need to take a break for a while and stop letting poker control my emotions/whether or not i go to class.

Re: downswing = depression
 

Pretty serious swings.

Are you bankrolled properly? Do you think the depression has more to do with a downswing, or the will the loss of the money affect your life?

If is the downswing, there are alot of posts on this site that will help get over it.

If it is the loss of the money and what it does to your life, this may not be the be the best site to find advice.

Re: downswing = depression
 

I am 'properly rolled' for 25-50 with a ~100 buyin bankroll (pre-tax). I know I will be paying a hefty tax bill at the end of the year which will drastically affect my bankroll but I will worry about that when the time comes.

Re: downswing = depression
 

Grim,

I all seriousness I think you need to move down. Emotionally you cant handle winning/losing these amounts if it is affecting your personal life. I have only played with you a couple times at Party 10/20 and Im sure you must be a good player if you have won so much over a long period of time, but recently your game selection appears pretty [censored].

If you have a high variance style, which I think you do, and you play in tough games, which I know you do, then you have to be prepared for massive swings.

Apparently, at this time, youre not ready for this(even if youre bankrolled for it).

Move down for awhile, sort your [censored] out, and maybe give it another shot when youre a emotionally ready to win/lose a 100k.

GL,

Keystone

Re: downswing = depression
 

I don't know what its like to have this happen to me at this level, for this amount of money, but in some ways its relative. Ive been having the same thing happen to me and I pretty much want to kill myself and admit to the world that I am a failure.

Re: downswing = depression
 

i dont want to sound like a dick, but i find a useful way to get over this kind of feeling is to go watch over the internet or any type of media about tragic stories of those who have lost loved ones, mobility, or those in 3rd world countries. imagine what life would be like for them for around 10 minutes, lying on your bed with your eyes closed.

open your eyes, and decide the best course of action pokerwise. sometimes it is too easy to get overly involved in a particular swing pattern that we need to take a step back, look at how well we have life, and then try to be the best we can, not worry about not having a bad week in what is a great life.

Re: downswing = depression
 

bbv advice - move up where they respect your emotions

psych advice - move down

Re: downswing = depression
 

Well, I can relate. I have had those kind of swings in the options market. I am an attorney, not an options trader, but I have had some success trading options. Life is awesome on the up days; life absolutely sucks on the down days.

My advice, and it is worth what you pay for it:

1. Don't let your grades suffer. Note, I am not saying that you necessarily need to go to class. I was not big on attending class in my day (long ago). If you ordinarily miss a day or two, okay; but, if poker losses affect your performance, take some time off from poker.

2. Take some money off the top. Nothing sucks worse than being up 100k and losing it back. When you have a big up day, take some out and do something with it. Spend it, invest it, whatever; just have something so that on the down days you can say "well, this sucks, but at least I took that 20k when I was up and did . . . with it."

3. Move down a bit. If the swings bother you this much, you are risking too much. I left this one for last because it is easier said than done.

Kudos to you -- I wish I had these types of problems when I was a student.

Re: downswing = depression
 

grimstar i undrstnad completely as i'm sure all players do. it is something that goes along with the job and i don't think there is anything you can do about it. it just takes time to get over a bad session and eventually if you are doing some cool stuff you should get over it in a few hours or half a day or a day and be a happy camper agin

Re: downswing = depression
 

[ QUOTE ]
3. Move down a bit. If the swings bother you this much, you are risking too much.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. Move down.

Sure, you may be monetarily banked for the game, but it doesn't seem so as far as emotionally. You have too much emotion tied to your results, imo.

b

Re: downswing = depression
 

50-100 or busto

Re: downswing = depression
 

[ QUOTE ]
50-100 or busto

[/ QUOTE ]

Whatever that means.

b

Re: downswing = depression
 

playing 50-100 hu now on fulltilt [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: downswing = depression
 

1. I feel your pain
2. What is amazing to me is how money is so relative. I remember getting really depressed when I took a "shot" at 100NL and lost an allin.
3. Everything that is bad or good usually passes. Grim, if you know you can beat 25/50 then get over it and enjoy the shittons of money you have.

Re: downswing = depression
 

I think I have the answer to your DEPRESSION problems. Check your PM and holla back.

[ QUOTE ]
so basically i have let poker control my emotions over the past week.

i started off by depositing 20k into pokerstars and ran it up to 50k in one night playing 25-50nl. then, that same night, i lost all of my profit and was left with my original 20k. meh, variance. not the first time i have won/lost 30k. pretty standard 6buyin swing in agressive NL games. my mood: indifferent.

the next day i play/run very well and run my bankroll up to ~90k. so awesome. i begin thinking i am the king of poker. this is so easy. i am going to be a millionaire before i know it. i go to my classes and am more outgoing than usual and generally upbeat.

next day i have the worst downswing of my life (-85k) and feel like absolute crap. i sleep in till ~1pm the next day and skip my classes. i make it to my classes the next day but basically feel like a bum and have no enthusiasm about my work etc.

then i re-deposit more money (30k) and run/play good again. i got it back up to about 80k (so a total profit of 30k after original deposited money) and, of course, i start feeling great again. i decide to continue playing through the night and, of course, lose it all.

2 more days in a row, i slept through classes and feel like a piece of trash. looks like i need to take a break for a while and stop letting poker control my emotions/whether or not i go to class.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: downswing = depression
 

oh to be british [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

1..2..3..2..1
 

i started off by depositing 20k into pokerstars and ran it up to 50k

that same night, i lost all of my profit and was left with my original 20k

then i re-deposit more money (30k) and run/play good again. i got it back up to about 80k

decide to continue playing through the night and, of course, lose it all.


I always have this same pattern on Pokerstars. 5 times in a row is coincidence. It has happened to me like 95 out of 100 times.

I try to determine about what my peak is (2x-3x deposit). Quit withdraw and play somewhere else.

I know this may be crazy and only psychological but it works for me. Let the flaming begin.

Re: 1..2..3..2..1
 

i would suggest depositing more, like $100k to the poker site. then just play, and dont check the cashier more than once/twice a month or something. since i started doing this, i have become much less of a train wreck.

i hope you will get back on track towards your first million. good luck.

Re: 1..2..3..2..1
 

If you don't have John Feeney's book "inside the Poker Mind", I hightly recommend it. There's some great stuff in there about dealing with tilt and maintaining a professional attitude.

I also highly recommend getting into meditation. Here's a thread started by adsman a while back which you might find helpful.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...&PHPSESSID=

And if that piques your interest:

http://www.meditationexpert.com/ebok/howtomeditate.pdf

Re: downswing = depression
 

I've got to agree with the consensus that it sounds like you're playing too high stakes. You seem very concerned by the total money value of these swings (understandably).

Also losing almost 20 buyins in a session seems pretty extreme. Then again I play in lower stakes games where my edge is presumably much higher. I don't know if there's a point where you have to question whether you're a significant favourite in those games or not. Only you can answer that I guess.

At the very least it sounds like you should move down a bit in stakes or else take a bit of a break.

Re: downswing = depression
 

[ QUOTE ]
50-100 or busto

[/ QUOTE ]
Manic-Depressive. Not good. Adjustment advisable. Good luck.

Re: downswing = depression
 

dont be so result orientated

Re: downswing = depression
 

grim,

you cant run good forever donkey.

Re: downswing = depression
 

Are there other aspects of your life wherein you are making decisions that have emotional consequences?

If not, then you need to find some.

Variance and mistakes in poker won't seem to have so much weight.

Re: downswing = depression
 

[ QUOTE ]
grim,

you cant run good forever donkey.

[/ QUOTE ]

Classic

Re: downswing = depression
 

[ QUOTE ]
playing 50-100 hu now on fulltilt [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

We haven't heard back from you. Busto I imagine and if it is the case, I am sorry to say: you deserve it.

Re: downswing = depression
 

i lost my 10k deposit from fulltilt immediately.

i have a lot of money waiting to hit neteller which will then go back into pokerstars/fulltilt. i will be starting at 5-10/10-20 and multitabling until i hit 100k bankroll on whichever site first and then going to start playing 25-50 again

Re: downswing = depression
 

Sounds more like it but I can still detect a slight desperation. What's the hurry? You're rich, take it easy and enjoy life a bit. 25-50 or higher will allways be there.

GL to you.

Re: downswing = depression
 

Examine this..

"so basically i have let poker control my emotions over the past week."

Once you fix this problem you may be a winner.