Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

I don't know if I can describe this topic very well, but every once in a while I hear some jackass make a comment that he thinks is really insightful -- when in fact everyone knows it already and we're sick of hearing about it. It's not news anymore; it's just a cliche.

Two decent examples of this are:

1) "Bob Saget is actually a really dirty, foul-mouthed comedian! Seriously! If you listen to his stand-up, you'd be surprised how R-rated it is!" No, I wouldn't. Everyone knows Saget is filthy. Welcome to 14 years ago.

2) "Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic" is not ironic at all! She misuses the word completely! Did you realize that?" Yes, as did everyone else when the song came out. We know the lyrics are not examples of irony. Can we just forget the song exists now please?

I know I have more, but I can't think of them right now. Care to build a solid list with me?

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

you have been posting well lately sir, keep it up!

it's not the heat, it's the humidity! no [censored] you idiot

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

during the 2004 campaign, anti-Bush people would frequently say "It doesn't make sense to declare war on an ideology!"

1. terror is not an ideology
2. anyone smart knows it's just a catchy rallying point

the criticism itself didn't bug me as much as people who said it over and over like it was something insightful and intelligent.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

"you're gay"

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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it's not the heat, it's the humidity! no [censored] you idiot

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Yes. I hate this. Along with this are the idiots who keep mentioning that "well it's 106 in Tucson, but that's OK because it's a dry heat."

Ugh, shut up with the term dry heat. I know the difference between humid climates and desert climates. You know what else is a dry heat? A blow-torch. Leave me alone.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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it's not the heat, it's the humidity! no [censored] you idiot

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Yes. I hate this. Along with this are the idiots who keep mentioning that "well it's 106 in Tucson, but that's OK because it's a dry heat."

Ugh, shut up with the term dry heat. I know the difference between humid climates and desert climates. You know what else is a dry heat? A blow-torch. Leave me alone.

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This is close to my common response to this crap, living in Arizona.

"Yeah its a dry heat. Like an oven."

Ray

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

Bill Clinton was the leader of the free world; couldn't he have gotten some better pussy than that?

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

every time the subject of somebody going to prison for a child-related offense is raised, some genius is compelled to "mention" that the other prisoners will hate them

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Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

OMFG suburban American life is both banal and scandalous!

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

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OMFG suburban American life is both banal and scandalous!

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i have your back in that thread

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

Alright, this is only maybe marginally applicable here, but I'm sick of the same tired Catholic priest + altar boy jokes.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

Here are a couple baseball "funny" things that annoy the hell out of me:

1. announcers making fun of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim name. Get over it already.

2. pointing out repeatedly that players on the bench think it's really funny when the third base coach falls on his azz avoiding a line drive foul ball.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

Random strangers telling me that smoking is harmful to my health.

Really? It's harmful? Hey, now that you mentioned it, it says it's pretty harmful right on the box. Hey, what makes you think that if I'm not listening to the Surgeon General of the U.S., I'm gonna listen to you?

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

I'm tired of all these Mel Gibson jokes. I mean wtf, what did he ever do to anybody?

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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Random strangers telling me that smoking is harmful to my health.

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Same thing, except with fast food. Wait, so potatoes deep-fried in lard and Grade D ground beef aren't good for me? Really? You think so, doctor?

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

If you would have have X & Y instead of your hand and he would have had X & Y instead of his hand and the board didn't read A, B & C we would have had a jackpot.

Pointed out at least 10 times a hour by anybody older than 40 or asian.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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You think so, doctor?

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Man, I love me a Boogie Nights quote.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

just about anything involving michael jackson.

When I was growing up it was the "thumb is not a finger" thing

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

like for me, i sweat a lot, so when people say some stupid [censored] like "wow you're really sweating" reall???? i hadn't noticed those droplets of water running down my face. thanks.

or when you make a bad joke and someone has to say, that wasn't funny. especially from people who aren't very funny. i just want to point out every failed joke they make.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

The whole psychology thing. Looking away means you're lying or when someone says you're sitting that way because you're unhappy. [censored] YOU ITS 2006 JESUS CHRIST

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The DaVinci code is not such a great book. Yeah, Tolstoy, we read it, we know.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

That joke about Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig's disease

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

People who think that they need to explain the law of supply and demand.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

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My last name is Bond. "You know James?"

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising
 

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That joke about Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig's disease

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Ugh. It's even worse when this "joke" is written into the script of a sitcom.

On a related note: when a character in a sitcom gets all freaked out when he finds out that his medical tests have come back "negative". I distinctly remember this on Seinfeld, and last year on The Office. I found it sad that such otherwise great shows would be so lazy as to use this tired joke.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

Not exactly what the OP is going for, but...

People who proudly announce the most obvious predictions when watching movies/TV. My friend's gf does it constantly, and I want to strangle her.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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Random strangers telling me that smoking is harmful to my health.

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Same thing, except with fast food. Wait, so potatoes deep-fried in lard and Grade D ground beef aren't good for me? Really? You think so, doctor?

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This reminded me of something else I hate. I hate people saying McDonald's sucks. Everybody knows that McDonald's ain't servin' up no filet mignons and their food is pretty sub-standard for hamburger joints these days.

Why beat a dead horse? Anyone who's eaten McDonald's and anywhere else will tell you that the Big Mac is at the bottom of that Whopper, $6 Burger, In and Out Burger totem pole.

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Vietnam wasn't a war. It was a conflict.

I was in an English course in college, and some annoying kid found it necessary to correct the 60 year-old English teacher on this point. She tore him up something like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting in the bar scene. I had never heard of about half the words she used. He just sat there and stared. I wish I had that on tape.

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"Halo 2 is teh suck. Halo 1 dominates on so many more levels."

Geeez....thanks Master Chief, you sound like every other 16 year old I know.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

"That's poker!"

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"Iran is really behind all of this."

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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ITS 2006

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Uh yeah this is one I hate. It's 2006 really? Thanks for the update. This just in: women vote and blacks and white use the same drinking fountains.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

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My last name is Bond. "You know James?"

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You should legally be allowed to kill such people. I used to get "Any relation to Bob?" when Bob Hope was still alive.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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"Halo 2 is teh suck. Halo 1 dominates on so many more levels."

Geeez....thanks Master Chief, you sound like every other 16 year old I know.

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Eh... I think the gist of this thread is that the observations are supposed to be correct, just overly used and trite.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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"Halo 2 is teh suck. Halo 1 dominates on so many more levels."

Geeez....thanks Master Chief, you sound like every other 16 year old I know.

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Eh... I think the gist of this thread is that the observations are supposed to be correct, just overly used and trite.

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The halo comment is obviously true, but I don't know if I hear it often enough for it to be stale to me.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

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Not exactly what the OP is going for, but...

People who proudly announce the most obvious predictions when watching movies/TV. My friend's gf does it constantly, and I want to strangle her.

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or just any prediction/light bulb moment. stfu and watch.

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"Halo 2 is teh suck. Halo 1 dominates on so many more levels."

Geeez....thanks Master Chief, you sound like every other 16 year old I know.

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Eh... I think the gist of this thread is that the observations are supposed to be correct, just overly used and trite.

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The halo comment is obviously true, but I don't know if I hear it often enough for it to be stale to me.

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My last response, as I will not hijack this thread with some as silly as a Halo 1 vs 2 debate:

I hated Halo 2 when it first came out. The tactics and strategy just felt dull and slow, especially without the use of the pistol. Then, after playing for a while, I realized how much more dynamic of a game it was, especially in its use of 3 dimensional game play. Strategy and tactics were not dull, just more complex and difficult. Just my opinion though.

Re: Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprisin
 

This is kind of obscure, but if anyone has ever seen a Boise State home football game on TV, the announcers ALWAYS say the exact same thing when opening the broadcast... "No need to adjust your television sets, that's really blue turf" like nobody has ever [censored] seen it before...