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DeliciousBass 10-06-2006 05:15 AM

The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Because my sad, sad eyes need a break from the abundence of posts concerning the events that my "for the people, by the people" government has set in motion...I offer the following upcoming titles I look forward to seeing from our favorite authors:

Harrington on Horses, Expert Strategy Even When You're Off-Track by Dan Harrington

Will include exciting ideas like:
Making Trifectas work for you.
Why you shouldn't eat track hotdogs.
Poop size? As important with the horses as it is with the greyhounds?

excerpt..."People often think that sitting in a box is the way to go at the track. It's not, you want to get as close to the rail as possible so that you can get a good look at the horses as they are led to the gate. If you notice a horse that looks a little sick, get inside and get money him. He has the most to lose and will probably try harder than the others. If you notice two sick horses, box an exacta. Horses have a sense when they are getting close to being consumed in the form of paste by preschoolers. Don't let those opportunities pass you by."

Small Stakes Scratchers, Winning Big, Or so They Say by David Sklansky, Ed Miller, Mason Malmuth

Concepts such as:
Five one dollar or one five dollar scratcher?
Using the right coin.

From part five, Image ..."Sometimes it is a good idea to place your unscratched tickets on your kitchen floor and have family members walk on them. One reason is the repeated movement of ticket across the floor will remove the protective coating from most scratch-off tickets, revealing whether or not you have won a prize. The consistent use of a coin, even of differing denomonations, can make the average scratch-off player predictable. The scuff-off method is a proven way to mix up your game."

The Theory of Powerball by David Sklansky

Looking forward to +EV ideas like:
Daily Play or Powerball?
How to pick a winner.

Chapter four, The Anti-Scratcher starts, "Many people use birthdays and ages to pick their numbers. This is, to put it simply, a bad idea. The Lottery Commission of each state has access to each players birthday and age. You want to randomize your number selection so that the ball-blower cannot predict your moves. Try this, punch at your number pad on your computer randomly for ten seconds, then add up all of the numbers and continue to do so until you reach a single digit. Now you have your first number. For the sake of argument let's assume that number is 3, if you were connected to the Internet, now disconnect and repeat the process. Now tack that number onto the 3 and you should have something in the thirties, say 38. Write that number down and use a different computer to arrive at your next number."

Anyway guys, I'm really looking forward to buying these books at my local Barnes and Nobles. I suck at horses and scratchers...but I can learn.

akishore 10-06-2006 06:08 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Beautiful post. Took me a while to understand the relevance ("why did he use two lottery examples....??"), haha. NH sir.

comic2b 10-06-2006 06:34 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Freaking funniest post yet on this whole topic.

Number 2 "Maybe Zee Justin could win a majority of the Senate seats." Of course he would not use his knowledge of how the other senators were voting to affect his own political strategy.

HumanACtor 10-06-2006 07:32 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
[ QUOTE ]
Beautiful post.

[/ QUOTE ]

xJames2112 10-06-2006 08:33 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Great post. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

MilkMan 10-06-2006 08:47 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
lolol

Jerry D 10-06-2006 09:32 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Haha. That was laugh out loud funny.

SamJake 10-06-2006 09:36 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Are pre-orders being taken?

Peoples Elbow 10-06-2006 10:27 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
I'm ordering the entire library. Outstanding Post! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Wahoo73 10-06-2006 10:33 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
ROTFLMAO! VNH.

BluffTHIS! 10-06-2006 10:36 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
You forgot two:

Don't Be A Sucker: How To Lose Less $$$ Than Others in -EV Casino Games at B&M Casinos by Sklansky & Malmuth

Advantage Bingo: How To Play More Cards and Smoke More Cigs Than The Little Old Ladies by Ray Zee

Wada 10-06-2006 10:42 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
ROFLMAO Damn you have a lot of time on your hands.

Uglyowl 10-06-2006 11:12 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Haha, awesome post [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Is there going to be any fantasy sports books coming out? I am itching to spend $25,000 on an entry, but would like not to be a fish.

AJackson 10-06-2006 11:13 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
NH

Jeff76 10-06-2006 11:18 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Great that 2+2 is going to step up to fill our gambling needs here.

My original plan was to send a letter to Bill Frist asking what resources he'd recommend for learning to beat these games, since obviously he has a much firmer grasp that we do on which games are better for us to play.

Komakino 10-06-2006 11:21 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Wow, that really made me laugh. Especially the Harrington on Horses bit. "Why you shouldn't eat track hotdogs." indeed!

cowboy.up 10-06-2006 11:45 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
genius. big thanks for bringing a laugh to my day.

MikeSmith 10-06-2006 11:48 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
great post man haha

sorry4me 10-06-2006 11:57 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
I needed a good laugh ... thanks!

hugheser 10-06-2006 12:43 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Good stuff! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Mr. Orange 10-06-2006 01:45 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Great post.

Bilgefisher 10-06-2006 05:38 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
NH!

Tofu_boy 10-06-2006 05:41 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
[ QUOTE ]
great post man haha

[/ QUOTE ]

it's fun to read. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

spatne 10-06-2006 06:42 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Legal Statements and Other Topics by 2+2 legal

Concepts such as:
TBA

Excerpt:

"Estragon, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot. He pulls at it with both hands, panting. He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again. As before.
Enter Vladimir."

What people are saying about this book:

"Huh?" - 2+2 attorney

"What?" - Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN)

*taps on opposite shoulder and runs away* - Mason Malmuth

ncboiler 10-06-2006 06:53 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Well done. And only 266 posts.....well done well done.

Nincompoop 10-06-2006 08:15 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
I didn't laugh. The wound is still open and festering. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Chrysiptera 10-06-2006 10:21 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
[ QUOTE ]
I didn't laugh. The wound is still open and festering. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]
I thought the book about horses was serious until I got to the scratch tickets..

run horses run

Lottery Larry 10-06-2006 11:30 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Gold star! I'm awarding you extra chips at the next tourney!

whangarei 10-07-2006 09:30 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Nice! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

morgan180 10-08-2006 12:21 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
can I request

Casino Keno for advanced players
Multi-sheet Bingo for advanced players

Dementia 10-08-2006 01:36 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
[ QUOTE ]
Good stuff! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

TobDog 10-08-2006 01:28 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
I stopped in a 7-11 this morning to get my morning sugar fix, and the gentelman with too many 'j's in his name to even remember claimed they are circulating a petition to adjust the loitering law to include, 'nits' and 'college poker dropouts' to keep the unruly people from affecting their customer base. Oh, its a sad day....

scorer 10-08-2006 01:33 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
best post of the year!!!

mornelth 10-09-2006 12:07 PM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
[ QUOTE ]

Harrington on Horses, Expert Strategy Even When You're Off-Track by Dan Harrington

Will include exciting ideas like:
Making Trifectas work for you.
Why you shouldn't eat track hotdogs.
Poop size? As important with the horses as it is with the greyhounds?

... Horses have a sense when they are getting close to being consumed in the form of paste by preschoolers...

[/ QUOTE ]

This is simply not true. Horses that are sick and no longer able to perform at the track are retired and...

Sorry, just got to the "Why you shouldn't eat track hotdogs" chapter... Nevermind.

Troy92 10-14-2006 02:39 AM

Re: The New Two Plus Two Library
 
Great post. It had me rolling the other day. Sad thing is I actually saw these book titles at Barnes & Nobles today:

The Insider's Guide: Instant Win Tickets (Pull Tabs)

Winning Lotto/Lottery for Everyday Play


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