I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Cliff notes: Long and whiny. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

So, Wednesday is my normal pub poker night, where I hang out with my Dad and some friends. Driving home with the wife, I mention some frisky statement about how I want to get her naked, etc. She seems very into the idea, but we both know I have pub poker, and I normally get home after she has fallen asleep. She also mentions she is tired, and has a lot of work to do tonight, so I mention I'll make her a deal; I'll not go to pub poker if I can stop and get Chipotle for dinner (we normally are "on our own" for dinner Wednesdays since I go to a pub) and I'll let her take a power nap while watching the kids. She agrees and comments about how we'll get naked after the kids go to bed.

We eat dinner, she naps, I play with kids, she gets up and starts on her work, kids and I watch movie, we both put kids bed, and then... she goes back to work. Not exactly the getting naked I was expecting, but she does have to get work done, so I sit down to read some 2+2 and watch the Pro Poker Tour.

Shortly after, the wife starts making comments about how I am addicted to poker and its all I do, and how much time I spend on it. This is right after we had a conversation last week that I spend too much time on the computer (presumably playing poker), and I agreed to not be on the computer while the kids were awake, which I have stuck to, faithfully. In addition, I've been playing Magic Online more lately, and have dived head first into season two of Lost (see other threads). In all reality, I haven't been doing much poker, and in fact, I gave up poker tonight to be with her. So this statement cranks me quite a bit and I let her know. I tell her that I've not been doing that, yes I do realize I spend a lot of time on my hobbies in general, but I'm making it sure it doesn't impact the family, and she's being a killjoy in complaining about the things I like to do.

She apologizes for being a killyjoy, but really, what did she expect from that conversation? I accept her apology, but am still kinda cranky in general that she ruined my "high" of having a nice relaxing evening despite not getting the immediate nakedness I was expecting.

Eventually she is done working, and says she is going upstairs to bed and wants to know if I want to come. Well , of course I do. Duh. So I finish up an email, shut out the lights and such and go up, and she's laying in bed reading a book. Exciting.

I start trying to fool around but she's not into it because she "can''t be intimate when the relationship is broken" and asks me if I want to talk about it. To my wife, a relationship is "broken" every time we have any fight. I tell her we already did. I already accepted her apology, I said nothing is broken in the relationship, so what exactly do we need to talk about. She says "nothing I guess" and of course now she's annoyed at me. Fantastic.

So now I am super annoyed at her because she basically has set up an entire situation where some inflammatory comments she made has resulted in not only me getting any, but somehow it being my fault because I'm not talking to her about something I have nothing more to say on.

I am, in some way, proud of her for such a good Kobayashi Maru, but I'm still pretty pissed off.

Ideas on a better way to handle it?

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[censored] it, just divorce her.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Start whacking off and shoot it everywhere, including on her eggs. Then you too can have the best trip report ever...

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Dude, this sounds eerily familiar to me. Take it from me: do something about this now. I wish I had some actual advice, but all I can safely say is Take This Problem Seriously.

gl,
--GA

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

My wife and I occasionally fight about my hobbies and stuff, but it sounds like you have done the right things. Cut down on them for more family time, my guess, she knows she was in the wrong, and you will be getting apology sex/good meal later this week (maybe kinky weekend fun) that's how it goes at my house.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
Start whacking off and shoot it everywhere, including on her eggs. Then you too can have the best trip report ever...

[/ QUOTE ]

..can't stop laughing...

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

This is sadly standard. Wife hints at sex, but manages to goad you into a spat over something stupid. The mood is broken and you don't get any.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

#1 Why did you give up your night with your dad and friends at the pub just so you could have sex with a woman you've had sex with hundreds (or thousands) of times already? But that's off topic...

#2 It seems the problem with your relationship runs deeper than just her being mad because you were on the computer last night. She's probably bothered by much larger things, and it will come out sooner or later if you don't deal with it now.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
#1 Why did you give up your night with your dad and friends at the pub just so you could have sex with a woman you've had sex with hundreds (or thousands) of times already? But that's off topic...

#2 It seems the problem with your relationship runs deeper than just her being mad because you were on the computer last night. She's probably bothered by much larger things, and it will come out sooner or later if you don't deal with it now.

[/ QUOTE ]

#1 is because I honestly just wasn't in the mood to go out, so it was a win win..... theoretically.

#2 I have an underlying issue to this as well where she loves to talk about how she got involved in Magic because it was a big part of my life when we met (since I run all these tournaments as a side job) and how she preaches to her friends about getting involved in their boyfriends interests or it will never work out, but of course for some reason this doesn't apply to hobbies that don't make me money. Running tournaments makes me money. Since I don't play poker very often, I'm profitable, but it doesn't make me much money. So I have a subconcious "my wife is being hypocritical" crank going on there as well.

Deadbody: I think that is how it will go. She apologized twice last night and once this morning, but I still haven't gotten any darn it! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
Dude, this sounds eerily familiar to me.


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

After reading all the threads like this one, I am extremely skeptical of the institution called marriage...

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

fuggin women...

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
After reading all the threads like this one, I am extremely skeptical of the institution called marriage...

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, you don't normally hear all the good stuff, you just hear the whining. I pretty much got laid every day last week, and I love my children to death.

Its like anything else in the world it turns out, there's good and bad.

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Ray,

Your dilemma reminds me of why I'm currently dating the one bitch that always gives it up...

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j3...2/ATT00053.jpg

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Women are such bitches. My girlfriend pulls this kind of [censored] all the time, she does something wrong, I call her on it, then she gets all sad and upset, and I'm the one who ends up suffering, apologizing, and/or feeling bad. Thankfully she's very understanding/supportive of poker, though. My sympathies, guy.

The only better way I can think of to handle it is for you to be the one refusing sex (which I realize is a big sacrifice to make, especially when married, but in this case it doesn't look like you were getting any anyway. So when she asks if you are coming upstairs, you can say something like, "I'm not really in the mood anymore," so that it's like you are turning her down, even though she wasn't really offering. You don't have to be pissy or dramatic about it, just kind of matter-of-fact. Women derive a lot of power from the knowledge that you are going to desire them sexually pretty much no matter what. I think it can be a real shock to them to be turned down, and it may even make her want you more in the long run.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

wait a sec that looks like my watch

and my hand

WTF

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Tell she is a stupif [censored] bitch and now she has something to whine about.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

<font color="blue">Women are such bitches.</font>

perhaps the ones you date, but i can assure you it's not all of them.

<font color="blue">The only better way I can think of to handle it is for you to be the one refusing sex</font>

yeah man, good idea. counter with passive-aggressive games instead of directly addressing the problem. it's no wonder divorce rates are so high.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Every woman gets like this at some point. I really think it is nothing to worry about.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
wait a sec that looks like my watch

and my hand

WTF

[/ QUOTE ]
I assure you that is my hand, my Fossil watch, my countertop, and my callouses, which I didn't earn from long days out in the field.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
This is sadly standard. Wife hints at sex, but manages to goad you into a spat over something stupid. The mood is broken and you don't get any.

[/ QUOTE ]

standard female weirdness.

fortunately, i avoid this line often

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is sadly standard. Wife hints at sex, but manages to goad you into a spat over something stupid. The mood is broken and you don't get any.

[/ QUOTE ]

standard female weirdness.

fortunately, i avoid this line often

[/ QUOTE ]

HOW?!??!?!? Inquiring minds want to know!

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
wait a sec that looks like my watch

and my hand

WTF

[/ QUOTE ]

I see a thumb. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]

The only better way I can think of to handle it is for you to be the one refusing sex

[/ QUOTE ]

Someone has to do this and post a trip report, I just have got to know how a women will react to this...

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
Start whacking off and shoot it everywhere, including on her eggs. Then you too can have the best trip report ever...

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel honored and enshrined by OOT.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wait a sec that looks like my watch

and my hand

WTF

[/ QUOTE ]
I assure you that is my hand, my Fossil watch, my countertop, and my callouses, which I didn't earn from long days out in the field.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will never stop laughing hysterically when I see your avatar.

O M G, such gold.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
After reading all the threads like this one, I am extremely skeptical of the institution called marriage...

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, you don't normally hear all the good stuff, you just hear the whining. I pretty much got laid every day last week, and I love my children to death.

Its like anything else in the world it turns out, there's good and bad.

Ray

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm plenty happy living without the bad.

I don't need some bitch complaining about what I do in my spare time, trying to control my life.

I don't want children, so I'm plenty happy not being married!

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

From the other side:

1. She wakes up, thinks it would be nice to get frisky with you, and waits for you to come after her.

2. You play on the computer instead.

3. She reacts by complaining about you being on the computer.

4. Instead of realising she's just asking for attention, you turn it into an argument, demonstrate clearly why she's wrong, and make her feel bad because instead of paying positive attention to her, you make her feel bad.

5. She's not happy with you and wants to talk about what's wrong.

6. You say, "nothing's wrong, I already accepted your apology."

7. Everybody goes to bed unhappy.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
From the other side:

1. She wakes up, thinks it would be nice to get frisky with you, and waits for you to come after her.

2. You play on the computer instead.

3. She reacts by complaining about you being on the computer.

4. Instead of realising she's just asking for attention, you turn it into an argument, demonstrate clearly why she's wrong, and make her feel bad because instead of paying positive attention to her, you make her feel bad.

5. She's not happy with you and wants to talk about what's wrong.

6. You say, "nothing's wrong, I already accepted your apology."

7. Sekrah pozzes your wife.



[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is sadly standard. Wife hints at sex, but manages to goad you into a spat over something stupid. The mood is broken and you don't get any.

[/ QUOTE ]

standard female weirdness.

fortunately, i avoid this line often

[/ QUOTE ]

HOW?!??!?!? Inquiring minds want to know!

[/ QUOTE ]

marry a woman who thinks sex &gt;&gt;&gt; stupid spat

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
From the other side:

1. She wakes up, thinks it would be nice to get frisky with you, and waits for you to come after her.
2. You play on the computer instead.
3. She reacts by complaining about you being on the computer.
4. Instead of realising she's just asking for attention, you turn it into an argument, demonstrate clearly why she's wrong, and make her feel bad because instead of paying positive attention to her, you make her feel bad.
5. She's not happy with you and wants to talk about what's wrong.
6. You say, "nothing's wrong, I already accepted your apology."

7. Everybody goes to bed unhappy.

[/ QUOTE ]


While I like these viewpoints; this one is way off. For number 1, she never gave indication that I should be doing any chasing. She gave a CLEAR indication of 'I have some [censored] work to do before we have any fun.' I went to the computer AFTER she made it clear that she had to get work done.

3/4. She bitched about my poker time while STILL working. There was never a "I want you to distract me from work" kind of thing going on or anything close. There wasn't even a complaint about me doing other things. It was totally directed at the evil card game, not at the fact that I wasn't giving her attention.

I appreciate the attempt at another viewpoint, but not even close this time.

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Ray it sounds like you are misreading her signals. She wanted you to interuppt her. In fact she was begging for you to SIIHP. You whiffed on the gopherball she tossed up by watching poker instead of spending time with her.

I'd PM sekrah and beg him to stop sthupping your wife.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

This is a very good book from Dr. Laura. She basically says "Look wives, men don't need much, just the occasional good meal and a good lay and its your job to give it to them. You wouldn't like it if every time your husband was tired he didn't go to work."

Trust me.. good stuff!

BB

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ray it sounds like you are misreading her signals. She wanted you to interuppt her. In fact she was begging for you to SIIHP. You whiffed on the gopherball she tossed up by watching poker instead of spending time with her.

I'd PM sekrah and beg him to stop sthupping your wife.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really gotta stick to my guns on this one with a "I know my wife better than you" kind of thing. Don't really know what else to say on this one. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
We eat dinner, she naps, I play with kids, she gets up and starts on her work, kids and I watch movie, we both put kids bed, and then... she goes back to work. Not exactly the getting naked I was expecting, but she does have to get work done, so I sit down to read some 2+2 and watch the Pro Poker Tour.

[/ QUOTE ]

honestly dude the problem is you expect your wife to come seduce you and pull you into the bedroom. This is something every guy wants and... it just doesn't work that way. YOU are the one that has to pull her into the bedroom. Its just human nature. There are very few chicks out there that will initiate sex even when you were just talking about it! Be the man.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ray it sounds like you are misreading her signals. She wanted you to interuppt her. In fact she was begging for you to SIIHP. You whiffed on the gopherball she tossed up by watching poker instead of spending time with her.

I'd PM sekrah and beg him to stop sthupping your wife.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really gotta stick to my guns on this one with a "I know my wife better than you" kind of thing. Don't really know what else to say on this one. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Ray

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm mostly just goofing with you on that one. the work stuff whe did might have wrecked the mood for her. I'd go for the make-up kink and move on.

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
honestly dude the problem is you expect your wife to come seduce you and pull you into the bedroom. This is something every guy wants and... it just doesn't work that way. YOU are the one that has to pull her into the bedroom. Its just human nature. There are very few chicks out there that will initiate sex even when you were just talking about it! Be the man.

[/ QUOTE ]

I tried to initiate fooling around when we went upstairs, no dice. I even mentioned this. I'm not going to initiate sex when my wife tells me she has work she has to get done because.. she has work she has to get done.

Ray

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

When my wife gets on me regarding poker, hobbies, magic online, etc.

I point to the door and say there it is.

I run the show....WORD!

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

Magic Online? Phft, get a real addiction like World of Warcrack!

Re: I didn\'t get laid last night! Trip Report!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
From the other side:

1. She wakes up, thinks it would be nice to get frisky with you, and waits for you to come after her.

2. You play on the computer instead.

3. She reacts by complaining about you being on the computer.

4. Instead of realising she's just asking for attention, you turn it into an argument, demonstrate clearly why she's wrong, and make her feel bad because instead of paying positive attention to her, you make her feel bad.

5. She's not happy with you and wants to talk about what's wrong.

6. You say, "nothing's wrong, I already accepted your apology."

7. Sekrah pozzes your wife.



[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

how'd i know that sekrah's name would somehow find a way into this post...??