Do you Cheat?
 

I was away on a trip recently and visited an old friend who is very happily married. In speaking with him I learned that most of the married guys he knows cheat REGULARLY (read: whenever the opportunity arises) on their spouses. This BLEW MY MIND. Truth be told, I have no problem with a married guy going to a rub and tug or whatnot but my friend led me to believe that hooking up with random skanks is par for the course after you have been married for 5+ years.

Can this be true? And if it is, is it possible that the women feel the same way as well? (he claims that women are built diferrently and will NOT seek a random [censored] to impale themselves on - but rather crave attention/TLC etc...).

What say you MARRIED or in LTR dudes of OOT?

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Married 15 years. Never cheated. Never wanted to. Don't plan to.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Married 1 year, never cheated, never will.

Of course, I do hope to talk my wife into a threesome for my 40th birthday.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Married 1 year, never cheated, never will. No piece of ass is worth hurting my wife and ruining my life.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Of course, I do hope to talk my wife into a threesome for my 40th birthday.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like the way you think!

BTW - I tried this with my wife on my 30th birthday (was married 3 years by then). She was all "sure/yeah/sounds kinky and fun" for the months leading up but failed on the delivery. I learned that the only way it would happen was if I was the one to organize it. Lesson here: If your wife says YES - make arrangements yourself right away and don't wait for her to "make it happen".

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Married 15 years. Never cheated. Never wanted to. Don't plan to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your wife reads your posts, huh? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

2 years. Don't really even think about cheating.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

I enjoy getting to keep all my money and my stuff. Plus, you know, there's that whole trust thing, as well as the vows I said on my wedding day.

Cheaters suck.

BTW, getting a rub-n-tug is cheating in my opinion.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Since the early 90s, I have only been in open relationships. I would actually have to work hard to cheat.

As far as the male vs. female distinction...I've been with the same woman for 5 or 6 years and I know she has more sex than I do.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
2 years. Don't really even think about cheating.

[/ QUOTE ]

You don't think about cheating but you must find random women attractive, no? I am all about the "doesn't matter where you get your appetite so long as you eat at home". I am wondering if this line of thought will eventually lead me astray.

For the record: I have been happily married for about 4.5 years now and my wife is pretty cool about me oggling other chicks/flirting etc. She has also made it very clear that if I ever cheat on her, it will be the end (never have and as far as I can tell right now, never will).

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Married 15 years. Never cheated. Always want to. Don't plan to.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think its very much built into man to want to stick his one eyed snake into as many holes as possible. But when you take those vows to remain faithful, well, my word is more important than my willy.

Ray

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, getting a rub-n-tug is cheating in my opinion.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am curious about this point. Do you think it is the same as picking up a girl at a bar, not telling her you are married and getting a HJ in the car?

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Side topic: Does anyone have the 'freebie?'

I have two situations where the wife says I have full permission to go get my willy wet.

1. Three some with hot blonde and asian girls, to fulfill some nice adolescent fantasy.

2. Alyssa Milano, although man, the whole STD rumors make this one suck for me. I need a new celebrity to make as my exception.

She gets Orlando Bloom.

Ray

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
2 years. Don't really even think about cheating.

[/ QUOTE ]

You don't think about cheating but you must find random women attractive, no? I am all about the "doesn't matter where you get your appetite so long as you eat at home". I am wondering if this line of thought will eventually lead me astray.

For the record: I have been happily married for about 4.5 years now and my wife is pretty cool about me oggling other chicks/flirting etc. She has also made it very clear that if I ever cheat on her, it will be the end (never have and as far as I can tell right now, never will).

[/ QUOTE ]

I absolutely find women other than my wife attractive, but it isn't in the I want to [censored] their brains out way. They're just beautiful, and I admire that. This isn't oogling, either.

My wife and I are very open with eachother. I can joke that I want to have sex with some woman, and it's funny because she knows I never would.

Also, a rub and tug is cheating, and it isn't an opinion.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Been married 8 years, never thought seriously about cheating. Wife has made it very clear that cheating = end of marriage, and I wouldn't want to hurt her that way.

We do however each have 5 freebies (only worthwhile thing I ever got from her always watching Friends)

1. Selma Hayek
2. Christina Aguliera
3. Lita from WWF
4. Miko Lee (pornstar)
5. Jennifer Anniston

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Cheating is lame. If you have the urge to cheat you should have never got married in the first place. Staying single and continue to bang every chick you could would be the best play. I feel bad for the guys that get married at 21-22 then realize when they're 27 that they didn't have a chance to bang around and now they have the urge to cheat. Dumb on their parts.

On the flip side, if the woman did everything to get you to marry them and then shut down on you well then duh. If you don't pet the dog, its hard to keep him under the porch. If women take care of their men after marriage they're won't be a need for cheating.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
We do however each have 5 freebies (only worthwhile thing I ever got from her always watching Friends)

1. Selma Hayek
2. Christina Aguliera
3. Lita from WWF
4. Miko Lee (pornstar)
5. Jennifer Anniston

[/ QUOTE ]

Slight threadjack:

Assuming this list and others of its ilk are legit (that is, your wife actually wouldn't leave you if you slid the beast to someone one the list but would if you cheated with someone not on the list), is there a rule that says the people have to be celebrities?

If not, I think putting 5 hot chicks that you actually know and want to bang would be a better strategy. The chances are so remote that you are going to meet these celebrities, much less have the opportunity to sleep with them.

But never having put together such a list (I think they are pretty stupid, to be honest) and never having seen the relevant episode of Friends, I don't know if there's a rule that prevents this.

-McGee

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We do however each have 5 freebies (only worthwhile thing I ever got from her always watching Friends)

1. Selma Hayek
2. Christina Aguliera
3. Lita from WWF
4. Miko Lee (pornstar)
5. Jennifer Anniston

[/ QUOTE ]

Slight threadjack:

Assuming this list and others of its ilk are legit (that is, your wife actually wouldn't leave you if you slid the beast to someone one the list but would if you cheated with someone not on the list), is there a rule that says the people have to be celebrities?

If not, I think putting 5 hot chicks that you actually know and want to bang would be a better strategy. The chances are so remote that you are going to meet these celebrities, much less have the opportunity to sleep with them.

But never having put together such a list (I think they are pretty stupid, to be honest) and never having seen the relevant episode of Friends, I don't know if there's a rule that prevents this.

-McGee

[/ QUOTE ]

Ours was limited to celebrities because we really aren't planning on cheating. Naming 5 local hotties who I could get sort of defeats the purpose of being married. THe list is more of a joke than anything else. We see a movie with Selma Hayek in it, and I start popping off about how I could totally [censored] her.

More an inside joke than anything else.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We do however each have 5 freebies (only worthwhile thing I ever got from her always watching Friends)

1. Selma Hayek
2. Christina Aguliera
3. Lita from WWF
4. Miko Lee (pornstar)
5. Jennifer Anniston

[/ QUOTE ]

Slight threadjack:

Assuming this list and others of its ilk are legit (that is, your wife actually wouldn't leave you if you slid the beast to someone one the list but would if you cheated with someone not on the list), is there a rule that says the people have to be celebrities?

If not, I think putting 5 hot chicks that you actually know and want to bang would be a better strategy. The chances are so remote that you are going to meet these celebrities, much less have the opportunity to sleep with them.

But never having put together such a list (I think they are pretty stupid, to be honest) and never having seen the relevant episode of Friends, I don't know if there's a rule that prevents this.

-McGee

[/ QUOTE ]

Ours was limited to celebrities because we really aren't planning on cheating. Naming 5 local hotties who I could get sort of defeats the purpose of being married. THe list is more of a joke than anything else. We see a movie with Selma Hayek in it, and I start popping off about how I could totally [censored] her.

More an inside joke than anything else.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. Carry on...

-McGee

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]

Ours was limited to celebrities because we really aren't planning on cheating. Naming 5 local hotties who I could get sort of defeats the purpose of being married. THe list is more of a joke than anything else. We see a movie with Selma Hayek in it, and I start popping off about how I could totally [censored] her.

More a stupid played-out gimmick than anything else.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We do however each have 5 freebies (only worthwhile thing I ever got from her always watching Friends)

1. Selma Hayek
2. Christina Aguliera
3. Lita from WWF
4. Miko Lee (pornstar)
5. Jennifer Anniston

[/ QUOTE ]

Slight threadjack:

Assuming this list and others of its ilk are legit (that is, your wife actually wouldn't leave you if you slid the beast to someone one the list but would if you cheated with someone not on the list), is there a rule that says the people have to be celebrities?

If not, I think putting 5 hot chicks that you actually know and want to bang would be a better strategy. The chances are so remote that you are going to meet these celebrities, much less have the opportunity to sleep with them.

But never having put together such a list (I think they are pretty stupid, to be honest) and never having seen the relevant episode of Friends, I don't know if there's a rule that prevents this.

-McGee

[/ QUOTE ]

It's obvious from my history that I suck with women but isn't the point of "the list" is that it's intentionally outlandish so you don't actually commit infidelity?

I mean if you make a list with intent to execute then that's probably symptomatic of an inability to be monogamous and you shouldn't be in a non-open marriage.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
isn't the point of "the list" is that it's intentionally outlandish so you don't actually commit infidelity?


[/ QUOTE ]

This would seem to indicate that the list has no point at all.

-McGee

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Yes, I have Jessica Alba and my wife has George Clooney as our "free passes."

However, it is beyond clear that if I ever did actually sleep with Jessica Alba in real life, my wife would divorce me instantly.

So that's going to be a tough decision some day.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Yes, I have Jessica Alba and my wife has George Clooney as our "free passes."

However, it is beyond clear that if I ever did actually sleep with Jessica Alba in real life, my wife would divorce me instantly.

So that's going to be a tough decision some day.

[/ QUOTE ]

heh, i was just gonna ask this...for those with lists, if the opportunity to actually hook up with a listed person because available would you actually cheat on your wife?

hookers and blow - yah, right
 

I thought this cocaine poll would put the "hookers and blow" rhetoric to rest

But if there were any doubt....
http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/8...kerpolluw6.png

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Married 5 years. Never cheated. One female is plenty.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

What's the point of getting married if you're just gonna cheat anyway?

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Since the early 90s, I have only been in open relationships. I would actually have to work hard to cheat.

As far as the male vs. female distinction...I've been with the same woman for 5 or 6 years and I know she has more sex than I do.

[/ QUOTE ]
please, elaborate, slowly and with as much detail as possible...


(6 years, never have, never will)

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

"Integrity has no need of rules."

-Albert Camus

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's the point of getting married if you're just gonna cheat anyway?

[/ QUOTE ]

Most people don't get married planning to cheat. It just happens.

FTR, 10 years. Never cheated.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

If I was married and lame enough to be a serial cheater I'd probably convince myself that everyone else does it too.

Same with cheating on my taxes, lying regularly, etc etc.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]


Most people don't get married planning to cheat. It just happens.

FTR, 10 years. Never cheated.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course not. I know having kids complicates things, but anyone that "just lets it happen" either has problems in their marriage or other issues or shouldn't be married in the first place.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

The problem with cheating, as I see it, is that the morning after I cheated, I would have to kiss my wife before she goes to work and hug my 2-year-old son when he wakes up from bed. Then, I'd have to wash my face and look myself in the mirror.

Then, I'd probably have to cry, then vomit, and then either shoot myself or live in total shame.

So, no, I don't plan on cheating. Ever.

I work closely with a man, though, who has a stay-at-home wife with 5 kids ages 17-7. He cheats VERY often. He's very open about it to us at work he's kind of close to, although I doubt his wife and children know about it. I think he feels bad about it sometimes, but only about his kids. He's been 'done' with his wife for quite sometime, and I'm pretty sure a divorce would ruin everyone. His wife has no job skills and wouldn't be able to work for a good wage, he would have to pay about 75 percent of his take-home to wife/child support, and his kids would be devestated. So, I think he's just in it for the kids and, when they're all out of the house, he'll leave or something.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

cheating is awesome lol, just run if you see this man

http://joeygreco.com/pic3.jpg

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

married 8 years. never cheated.

museum rules - look but don't touch.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

25 years. never cheated.

[ QUOTE ]
Also, a rub and tug is cheating, and it isn't an opinion.


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Not married now(or even close to being so), but I'm never going to settle for anyone at all, so I'm 99.99% sure that when I do get married I'll be in love enough that I'll never cheat. I'd much rather just be single my whole life than marry someone and then cheat on them.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Cheating is for wussies with no self-control.

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

Well it seems like the vast majority of OOT does NOT condone cheating. I like what Sfer said about those who habitually do something and rationalize it by saying "everyone does that". This is quite possibly the case.

I am a bit surprised to see that many here are saying a rub n' tug is cheating as well. It is possible that since this has never been an issue in my marriage (wife has no problem with this so long as the objective here isn't getting the HJ, but rather just being a natural culmination of an awesome massage - although this was discussed quite a while back and never tested seriously so perhaps just BS that she would backtrack on if reality hit).

I would really like to hear from those who voted that yes, they do cheat. Please create a dummy account (to maintain discretion) and tell us why you think it is ok to cheat or perhaps you think it isn't ok and you have some guilt now? Share with OOT!!!!

Re: Do you Cheat?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am a bit surprised to see that many here are saying a rub n' tug is cheating as well. It is possible that since this has never been an issue in my marriage (wife has no problem with this so long as the objective here isn't getting the HJ, but rather just being a natural culmination of an awesome massage

[/ QUOTE ]

she's cheating on you