how to help a young kid
 

My brother is 10 and really, really, really smart. Def smarter than I was at his age and (I'm told) I tested for IQ of 140-155. I found it very hard to make friends because I thought all kids my age were immature and annoying and consequently had friends all 1-2 yeaers older than me. Being social wasn't a problem for me, but it is for my brother. His interests are extremely esoteric for his age - conservationism, biology, blah blah - and he is having much more trouble adjusting than I did. He also lacks confidence, has a nasally voice, and is rather uncoordinated when it comes to sports.

I want to know how I can help him out. I will be able to visit him probably only a few days to a few weeks a year because we live on opposite coasts but I will be in touch on the phone weekly and give gifts on important days.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Does he have any game systems? If not, hook him up with an XBOX or ps2, or spend more for the 360. That always makes a guy immature, no matter what age...

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Get him into online gaming, he'll probably stop focusing on school but if he becomes good he'll be insanely popular online. Nerdy kids don't need a life when they have e-friends.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Take him hiking or rock climbing, connect it to his interests in the outdoors. Hopefully it will help him be more active and he'll get all diesel and bang mad bitches with his smoov tree-hugger sensitive guy angle.

Actually, seriously, taking him hiking, rock climbing, camping etc would be pretty cool.

NT

Re: how to help a young kid
 

He'll have a much happier life if you somehow encourage him to become more coordinated. If he were in better physical condition he would be, and and would also have a "better" voice. He's gotta round out his activities, despite his base interests.

If he's smart, he'll understand the value in being adept in a lot of areas.

EDIT: To clarify, I don't think the goal should be to help him adjust and be the most self-confident skinny/uncoordinated/nasal geek in the world. It should be to fill out his abilities in disparate areas.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
Get him into online gaming, he'll probably stop focusing on school but if he becomes good he'll be insanely popular online. Nerdy kids don't need a life when they have e-friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha I know this is a joke, but this is terrible advice.

[ QUOTE ]
Take him hiking or rock climbing, connect it to his interests in the outdoors. Hopefully it will help him be more active and he'll get all diesel and bang mad bitches with his smoov tree-hugger sensitive guy angle.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is really good advice.

Your brother will likely excel in all the geek / Innanet-related spheres. Getting him involved early in his life in physical activities that won't demoralize him (you mentinoed he's uncoordinated = bad at competitve sports = demoralizing) is a great way to round out his interests. Also, as NT mentioned, will help him extend his social circle outside of just hanging with nerdy dudes.

-Al

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Is there no geek camp he can go to?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Give the kid a guitar. By the time he's sixteen he should be a virtuoso who can write emo rock songs and win his high school battle of the Bands, and then dedicate campfire accoustic sessions to the ladies.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Hmmm I remember reading your first thread Ja, so I took an interest in posting a reply to this to try and help you out. My first thing would be, dont just stick him in a net world, where he wont develop any social skills. I've usually found that maybe a game store where he can pick up a card game might be able to help, like Magic: the Gathering, VS, or something. He'll be able to develop the social skills with other people of maybe equal self esteem?

Just a thought, hope that helps.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
Take him hiking or rock climbing, connect it to his interests in the outdoors. Hopefully it will help him be more active and he'll get all diesel and bang mad bitches with his smoov tree-hugger sensitive guy angle.

Actually, seriously, taking him hiking, rock climbing, camping etc would be pretty cool.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed. Plus doing things that he likes doing, he'll meet other people who are also interested and therefor wont need all the kids who are immature for friends. Plus like NT said, it'll make him diesel and he'll be able to bang hot bitches.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Sound like me when I was little. My teachers sent home a note to my mom to "buy me a ball". I had to play with said ball in gym class to develop better coordination.

I turned out ambidextrous, and a pretty damn good athlete.

Buy him a ball. Play catch. Play frisbee. Get him a deck of cards and a card trick book.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
Def smarter than I was at his age and (I'm told) I tested for IQ of 140-155.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is a pretty big difference between 140 and 155 IQ, which one are you?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

definately don't get him into gaming.
Get him a weight set. He is probably too self conscious to want to lift weights at a gym, so get him a bench, some dumbells, barbell and weights and point him to some websites, or buy him a book on lifting and dieting. Learning how the body can be manipulated is very interesting and complicated stuff... he might like it, and in a couple of years he will be looking much better than he does now.

I really think this is your best option. I wish I'd have started working out and eating well when I was in highschool.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
definately don't get him into gaming.
Get him a weight set. He is probably too self conscious to want to lift weights at a gym, so get him a bench, some dumbells, barbell and weights and point him to some websites, or buy him a book on lifting and dieting. Learning how the body can be manipulated is very interesting and complicated stuff... he might like it, and in a couple of years he will be looking much better than he does now.

I really think this is your best option. I wish I'd have started working out and eating well when I was in highschool.

[/ QUOTE ]

The kid is 10 years old. Terrible.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
definately don't get him into gaming.
Get him a weight set. He is probably too self conscious to want to lift weights at a gym, so get him a bench, some dumbells, barbell and weights and point him to some websites, or buy him a book on lifting and dieting. Learning how the body can be manipulated is very interesting and complicated stuff... he might like it, and in a couple of years he will be looking much better than he does now.

I really think this is your best option. I wish I'd have started working out and eating well when I was in highschool.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you retarded?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Karate or numbchuck lessons will help him develop self confidence and give him something to talk about with the ladies.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Yeah,

The kid should just about be old enough to join the school band. Band is where geeks can be cool with other geeks.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

my bad I didn't read that he was 10.
Get him in some sort of sport tho man. MAybe not a league or anything yet, but at least get him playing something at the park or whatever.
Point is you need to have him doing something physical.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah,

The kid should just about be old enough to join the school band. Band is where geeks can be cool with other geeks.

[/ QUOTE ]

also where geeks get laid in highschool. i second this idea.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

www.partypoker.com?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

My recommendation is to introduce him to chess, or get someone to introduce him if you don't know how to play. Perfect for a smart, uncoordinated, and shy kid. Something competitive that he has a natural tendency toward, a brainy activity. It gives him a setting to socialize with other kids, and if he goes to a school with an active chess club, those kids (and their parents) eat that stuff up and will encourage him. Scholastic tournaments are madhouses, and they give out trophies to just about every kid. Some of the trophies are bigger than the kids! It's a lot of fun, and it's not just for geeks.

I've taught kids like your brother how to play chess. The really shy ones who get good at it eventually come out of their shells when they realize they can be good and win at something. It gives them confidence. Then they decide that if they can do well at chess, they can try to do well at other competitive things, like sports.

Then when he turns 21, he can ditch chess for online poker, naturally. Good luck.

ScottieK

Re: how to help a young kid
 

I'm still saying gaming, Shooting people in the face all night after school is a surefire way to let him release aggression so he doesn't shoot up his highschool one day.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
I found it very hard to make friends because I thought all kids my age were immature and annoying and consequently had friends all 1-2 yeaers older than me. Being social wasn't a problem for me, but it is for my brother.



[/ QUOTE ]
Ummm...You had a hard time making friends but say being social wasn't a problem for you? You may want to rethink that. Seems you are projecting your issues onto your brother. Yes, you can try to help him out, but realize not everyone is going to be athletic, "cool", etc. If he's happy with himself, he'll be fine.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Get him a hooker...











...and some blow.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

And then teach him to take the blow












...off the hookers stomach

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah,

The kid should just about be old enough to join the school band. Band is where geeks can be cool with other geeks.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is a very good idea. I like the rock climbing idea, and by all means do that too, but social skills and having a large group of friends are FAR more important for self esteem than being ripped/good looking I think.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
And then teach him to take the blow




...off the hookers ass


[/ QUOTE ]

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Def smarter than I was at his age and (I'm told) I tested for IQ of 140-155.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is a pretty big difference between 140 and 155 IQ, which one are you?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know, I think I got a range because it was a test for kids and I took it in 3rd grade. If I had to guess I would say I was at the upper end of the range but it doesn't matter at all because (I think) my IQ is way lower now.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

[ QUOTE ]
My recommendation is to introduce him to chess, or get someone to introduce him if you don't know how to play. Perfect for a smart, uncoordinated, and shy kid. Something competitive that he has a natural tendency toward, a brainy activity. It gives him a setting to socialize with other kids, and if he goes to a school with an active chess club, those kids (and their parents) eat that stuff up and will encourage him. Scholastic tournaments are madhouses, and they give out trophies to just about every kid. Some of the trophies are bigger than the kids! It's a lot of fun, and it's not just for geeks.

I've taught kids like your brother how to play chess. The really shy ones who get good at it eventually come out of their shells when they realize they can be good and win at something. It gives them confidence. Then they decide that if they can do well at chess, they can try to do well at other competitive things, like sports.

Then when he turns 21, he can ditch chess for online poker, naturally. Good luck.

ScottieK

[/ QUOTE ]

This brings up a good point.

His mom said he liked chess and I am not bad (1900 or something before I quit competitive) so I played with him and tried to teach him stuff and get him to think about the game, but during our game he revealed a really terrible current trait:

When he knew he was going to lose (i.e. just by playing against me), he gave up before even trying. I would guess that because things come so easy to him normally, he's liable to give up whenever something is a challenge. Of course it could be that he just doesn't like chess, but the way he wore his emotions I really doubt that.

So I also wana develop some kind of work ethic and competitive instinct.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Guys,

I'm not trying to get him to embrace his inner nerd so that he can only associate with other nerds and geeks and just become more of a wuss. That isn't to say that nerds and geeks are bad, but he is incredibly maladjusted and suggestions like getting him into Magic are just not what I'm looking for at all. The camping thing is a great idea though. If I can manage it, I'll take him on a float trip down the James River for 3 days and do nothing but fishing and camping.

also I'm not necessarily looking for just specific activity ideas. ANny techniques on how to help him develop social know-how, competitive instinct, work ethic, etc.

Mostly I just want to help him help himself. I know theres no way to instantly imbue him with the qualities that he lacks - just wana give him a chance to develop them.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

"My recommendation is to introduce him to chess"

Did you read the OP?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

JaBlue,

Like you, I have a brother (11, 6th grade) who is very intellectual, has a great sense of humor, and yet is quiet, and may lack some confidence. He's not gifted in athletic ability, father wasn't athletic (not my dad) and mom is so so.

Anyway, he's taking a shear liking to soccer and basketball. Both of which challenge him, and allow his inner competetiveness to be challenged. No, he's not the next Kevin Garnett (he's not black either) and I'm sure he won't be playing in the World Cup, but he has found two sports, of which he is decnet at, and loves.

The key to building confidence is through honest praise. If you're playing bball, and he makes a shot, let him know. Even if he's misses a shot or two, or whatever, let him know he has good form, and what not. Build his confidence for him. Kids this age are image conscious, especially once they reach middle school, and they really cannot help it.

Lastly, I know it's hard, I live 2k miles from my brothers (11, 9, 13 yrs old) and I really regret moving away from them. But, you need to be there for him even when you can't. Call him up, ask him how school is going, talk to him about certain subjects, interests. Develop interests with him and stuff. Just throw out feelers, have a conversation with him.

You showing interest in him will give him a sense of assurance, and will help with social skills and things like that.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Ja,

Pay for karate classes.

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Ja,
Euro trip report?

Re: how to help a young kid
 

Pool/darts sounds like a plan to me.