Star Trek humor
 

Post anything funny or ridiculous about anything related to Star Trek (the original or otherwise), the series, the movies, etc.

-J

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The borg spelled backwards is "grob"

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You haven't been to a sci fi convention before, apparently. This guy gets to have sex if he is taller than he is wide (and maybe anyway) and can form sentences. He's not pulling the quality P that you may be thinking of, but he's getting something.

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You haven't been to a sci fi convention before, apparently. This guy gets to have sex if he is taller than he is wide (and maybe anyway) and can form sentences. He's not pulling the quality P that you may be thinking of, but he's getting something.

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This is intriguing, I'm having images of Klingon orgies. Details plz.

The coolest trek related thing I've seen was probably Stovokor, a Klingon death metal band. The lead singer was huge, missing a hand, and generally a badass. He challenged the lead singer of the band before them to an arm wrestling match. The guy accepted too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stovokor_(band)

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Take my Worf, please!

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Take my Worf, please!

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I can't believe I'm LOLing at this.

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Why was the transporter always broken? That thing was malfunctioning like every episode. Even when they werent using it there was always a guy in overalls with a wrench on the floor underneath it tweaking something. That right there would make me kind of queezy about stepping onto the platform. Talk about fear of flying. Was it a second hand defective model or something?

Poor Scotty had so many responsibilities on the ship. When he wasnt trying to fix the broken transporter, he had like 1000 guys all with short hair cuts, dark hair, clean shaven, and wearing red shirts working in the engineering room. How the hell did he keep track of names? They all looked exactly alike.

Scotty: "Jensen what is the trouble with this reactor?"
Officer: "The divalium crystals are broken, sir, and its Murray not Jensen."
Scotty: "Thank you Murray. Where in the blazes is Jensen?"
Officer: "He was killed on the last episode, sir."
Scotty: "Great Scott that's right lad, I'd almost forgot."

With the constant transporter malfunctions, dilithium crystal problems, antimatter generator meltdowns, and having to keep track of 1000 engineers all of whom looked exactly alike, its no wonder poor Scotty was an alcoholic. Every other episode was he nipping on Scottish whiskey. That job was too much stress for anybody.

-J

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With the constant transporter malfunctions, dilithium crystal problems, antimatter generator meltdowns, and having to keep track of 1000 engineers all of whom looked exactly alike, its no wonder poor Scotty was an alcoholic. Every other episode was he nipping on Scottish whiskey. That job was too much stress for anybody.

-J

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Someone needs a life [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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Inspiriational Posters

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Is this the part where you and several others follow me around and rip on all my threads, eventhough I have never nor will ever do likewise? If so, well done, sir.

-J

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Captain's log: peanutty and painful.

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Is this the part where you and several others follow me around and rip on all my threads,

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Nope, just this one, lol. I like your posts and this one made me laugh. It was not meant to be a flame against you, just a poor joke.

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Why did they chose to put a Japanese and a Russian as head navigators on the bridge? It is coincedence that they hailed from two of America's biggest arch-rivals in WWII and the cold war? Real trust worthy people to have at the helm in a time of crisis, eh? "Captain we are headed to Markus IV, or are we? He he he he."

My thought was that they tried to have a representative from all different nationalities in high positions to symbolize the world coming together in the future. However, many nationalities are omitted, and a white male is still the head of everyone else. We really should see Apoo, head of something, and Nasser, a hot headed arab. What about being African especially qualifies someone to operate what is essentially a CB radio? I could see it if many aliens spoke different languages like maybe jive or gangsta rap, but all O'huru ever did was hold her hand close to her headset and wear abnormally large fake eyelashes. She couldnt even speak Klingon in that movie and had to use a dictionary. Maybe the captain had a thing for dark chocolate and that's why he kept her on the bridge, I dont know. She was beautiful.

The shirts they wore were the three primary colors, red, blue, and yellow, or if you TV in 70's had poor tint control like mine cranberry, turqoise, and mustard. I take it this was meant to emphasize functionality and simplicity and suppresses extravagance and unnecessary clutter. However, it totally suppresses individuality and creativity. The producers did a great job having the bridge run by delegates from the United Nations, but the uniform thing was so George Orwellish. Just once I want to see someone walking down the hall in a paisley shirt with the starfleet emblem on the lapel.

And why was Dr. Mccoy so grouchy and ornery? Health care practicioners are supposed to be more gentle. "How am I doing Doc?" Mccoy: "Be lucky if you last the week, arg..."

And what the heck is the difference between a phaser and a photon torpedo, other than one was a straight line, and the other two little moving dots? Some episodes they used phasers in battle, yet others they used the photo torpedo, yet there didnt seem to be any strategic reason.

Thanks for that one link, it was cool.

-J

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And what the heck is the difference between a phaser and a photon torpedo, other than one was a straight line, and the other two little moving dots?

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Phasers were usually hand held weapons that were concentrated beems (lasers) of energy. Photon torpedoes were just that, little torpedoes that were shot in pairs. I believe they used the phaser on the ship to save credits (money) because it was only energy, not actual particles like the torpedoes were.

That help? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I need a life.

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My thought was that they tried to have a representative from all different nationalities in high positions to symbolize the world coming together in the future. However, many nationalities are omitted, and a white male is still the head of everyone else. We really should see Apoo, head of something, and Nasser, a hot headed arab. What about being African American especially qualifies someone to operate what is essentially a CB radio? I could see it if many aliens spoke jive or gangsta rap, but all O'huru ever did was hold her hand close to her headset and wear abnormally large fake eyelashes. Maybe the captain had a thing for dark chocolate and that's why he kept her on the bridge, I dont know.

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Why do you assume she is american?

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You mean the phasers and photon torpedos had the same effect, only using the phasers reduced variance?

-J

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You mean the phasers and photon torpedos had the same effect, only using the phasers reduced variance?

-J

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These guys should be able to answer your questions.

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I was at Quark's Bar about a month ago, and this Borg dude came up to us. He said "humans inebriate themselves to tolerate the presence of other humans." An Andorian woman came up to us, and I was drinking a Romulan ale. She asked me "did they warn you about the Romulan ale?" "It goes out the same color it goes in!" Nice.

ScottieK

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Torpedoes were a long-range weapon while phasers were close range.

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What's Q's favourite rapper?

Snoop borgy borg

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Sulu was gay.

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Torpedoes were a long-range weapon while phasers were close range.

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Also, phasers could be used at nearly pin-point accuracy. Torps were more for the devestating knockout blow.

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Sulu was gay.

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http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp...en_preview.jpg

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Star Trek was very socially aware, and the things you noticed were no coincidence. Gene had a very positive outlook for the future.

It was totally out of the box thinking that a Soviet would be in a trusted position on the ship. A senior black female officer was unheard of. Don't forget that Kirk and Uhura had the first televised interracial kiss, too. An alien was on the bridge too. I have no doubt that if a new crew were being cast today (and Gene was still alive) there would be an Arab on the bridge.