you are NOT the father!!
 

Right now on Maury Povich they have a woman on who has apparently been on the show 9 times before looking for the father of her baby. They have done paternity tests with 9 different guys so far and none of them have been the father. They showed clips of her crying after each test was revealed and at one point she sobbed "I don't know what I did wrong..."

Come on.

They just revealed the test of the 10th guy, and he's not the father either. This might be the greatest thing of all time. Everyone should be watching Maury Povich right now, its incredible.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

lol is she a prostitute or something?

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
"I don't know what I did wrong..."

[/ QUOTE ]

it may have been sleeping with > 10 guys in 1 month

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

I really hope this girl was a prostitute. There could be no other explanation.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
They just revealed the test of the 10th guy, and he's not the father either. This might be the greatest thing od all time.

[/ QUOTE ]

if she's white, otherwise, nobody cares. sorry, it's the truth.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

rigged

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Last time I saw here, they were on candidate #7.

The best part was the reaction of the guys when they found out they weren't the father. Here's one (not the same girl, though):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ouzyG7XsTTw

Here's another dancer:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=S21r4oU4W...ed&search=

And here's the 10th for Marisol:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Yk5w5w5vNFM

(And to be fair, the 10 men they tested were for 4 different children.)

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Now her story is "I got drunk at a party at had sex with a lot of men I didn't know... Probably like 14."

Oh yeah, she was married at the time.

Edit: Update - Guy number 11 is not the father either. This is hysterical.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

its called a busto, train, some girls just like to be pounded loose by a bunch of dudes.

Edit: I just used my 1000th post to respond to a Maury not the father thread in OOT? MOVE THIS TO BBV I GOT BAD BEATED

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

The best one I've seen was a white chick with a pasty redhead boyfriend and a little mulatto kid. It was like watching Jim Carrey in Me, Myself and Irene. The guy was schocked to find out he wasn't the father.

Here's one like it. Different guy, but still how the [censored] could this guy think this kid is his?

maury clip

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

LOL

Thank you for those links

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
And here's the 10th for Marisol:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Yk5w5w5vNFM

(And to be fair, the 10 men they tested were for 4 different children.)

[/ QUOTE ]

They even tested a dead dude. LOL!! Great link.

The look the the guys' faces when it's revealed that they are not the father is friggin awesome. It's like a game show.

They should have lied and told her the dead guy fathered all of the children. Put these people out of their misery, please.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

this is a good one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okQsr...ed&search=

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

LOL.

After 10 failed tests you figure that she'd leard to wait until Maury discloses the results before she starts running her mouth off.

I haven't been following these but the responses are SO over the top. Any chance these things are scripted and we've all been had?

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
this is a good one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okQsr...ed&search=

[/ QUOTE ]
That is gold.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
this is a good one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okQsr...ed&search=

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahaha thats fantastic.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

I love these episodes of Maury, particularly for the inevitable run and fall backstage.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

I randomly ran into Maury on 32nd Street a couple of weeks ago. He was just standing around waiting to film some kind of spot, and I went over and said hello. He spent 5 minutes chatting with me. Nice guy.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this is a good one too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okQsr...ed&search=

[/ QUOTE ]
That is gold.

[/ QUOTE ]

Love it, thanks! Is this all Maury does? I've never seen anything but this bit on his shows the few times I've watched...

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

[/ QUOTE ]
Maury is a pimp yo.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
They just revealed the test of the 10th guy, and he's not the father either. This might be the greatest thing od all time.

[/ QUOTE ]

if she's white, otherwise, nobody cares. sorry, it's the truth.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just checking the links and Maury has featured white women, black women, and hispanic women. Maury is an equal opportunity paternity tester.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

am i hearing this right? "Shadiamond" lolol.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Maury has three different topics for his shows: this one, bad ass kids that go to boot camp, and 'from geak to sheek!'


this topic is by far the best. i <3 maury.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
After 10 failed tests you figure that she'd leard to wait until Maury discloses the results before she starts running her mouth off.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have a feeling the show may "encourage" this behavior.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shocking! The nerve!!

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

They should have her cut through a big poster of the number she's on, ala Joe DiMaggio.

http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/8104/56bj8.jpg

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

[/ QUOTE ]

so what don't you like?

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

http://www.gifnation.com/albums/funny/vdance.gif

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.gifnation.com/albums/funny/vdance.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

this is one of my favorite online videos ever. it wouldn't even be that funny except the dupped that outkast song into it.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Do you think they rehearse this dance beforehand, or is completely improvised?

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Look at how happy that cameraman is

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
Maury has three different topics for his shows: this one, bad ass kids that go to boot camp, and 'from geak to sheek!'

[/ QUOTE ]

-Lie detectors
-detective stories

That's about it.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

You'd think they won the [censored] lotto or something.

I'm trying to find the link, but did anyone see the Maury where this white lady takes her white husband on the show and tells him that he's not the father of their black baby? The kid was like 16 months old and he just never questioned it.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
You'd think they won the [censored] lotto or something.

I'm trying to find the link, but did anyone see the Maury where this white lady takes her white husband on the show and tells him that he's not the father of their black baby? The kid was like 16 months old and he just never questioned it.

[/ QUOTE ]

it's already been linked to in this thread.
This takes me back to my humble upbringings in a potunk gerogia town. If no one from my high school has been on this show yet, i'm honestly suprised.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shocking! The nerve!!

[/ QUOTE ]

That this sort of behavior is commonplace negates the validity of my irritation?

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This show irritates me. Maury acts like he's a good guy, helping these girls out, when in reality he's just using girls with [censored] up heads to make a buck.

[/ QUOTE ]

so what don't you like?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hypocrisy

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

That's not the max.

Just the other day, there was a show on with some chick testing her 13th guy.

Maybe it was the same girl a few shows later, but he wasn't the father either.

My favorite part about these is when the girl is on there the 4th or 5th time, and they show the clips from the past shows.

It ALWAYS goes like this:

"Maury, I'm one HUNDRED percent positive that Jamal is my baby daddy!"

"You are NOT the father!"

"OMG OMG OMG *cries and runs off stage*"

Next show:

They show the clip of her saying "100% positive!"

"Maury, I'm ONE HUNDRED AND TEN percent positive that Darell is my baby daddy!"

"You are NOT the father!"

"OMG OMG OMG *cries and runs off stage*"

Next show:

They show the clip of her saying "110% positive!"

"Maury, I'm ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY percent positive that Angel is my baby daddy!"

"You are NOT the father!"

"OMG OMG OMG *cries and runs off stage*"

Next show:

They show the clip of her saying "120% positive!"

"Maury, I'm ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY percent positive that Marcus is my baby daddy!"

"You are NOT the father!"

"OMG OMG OMG *cries and runs off stage*"

Next show:

They show the clip of her saying "150% positive!"

etc etc etc...

They always keep going up in their certainty percentage... and then when the 9th guy turns out to be right, they want a cookie or something for getting it right.

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

Maury Paternity test shows are the best thing on TV. Cracks me up every time. That geek to sheek [censored] has got to go though, it's like "get over it, it's been 15 years"

C-Dog

Re: you are NOT the father!!
 

some of those were funny, but the one with the lady that cheated with the black guy and told her husband she cheated was kinda sad [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]