This is my story (long, boring)
 

I’m posting this under a new name – most of you on this board know me, I’ve been a member here for a couple years, have many thousands of posts, but I guess I’m being a coward by hiding and posting this. A lot of you have met me in person, and I’ve spoken to a number of you on instant messaging – a lot of you know I’ve spoken with should not be shocked that my story is as follows, because you’ve heard some of these tales up close and in person…. So here’s my story:

I guess it all started about 10 or 11 years ago – in high school, my buddy and I knew this Iranian kid, he was 19 and he bet sports all the time with a bookie. He told us he’d put bets in for us if we were interested. My buddy and I did fairly well until our bookie hookup started cooking the numbers on our games….losses that should have been wins, ‘misquoted’ point totals, etc. – basically he was losing his ass to the bookie and covering himself with our wins. So that was the end of that….

…once college hit I didn’t really think too much about gambling, until my 2nd year. I discovered online sports betting (keep in mind we’re about 1998-1999 here), and signed up with a credit card that I got from one of those “we’ll give you a free t-shirt” applications in the student center. Nothing too serious, in fact I remember always betting at least 1 8-10 team parlay for 10 bucks just to see if I could hit jackpot – the card limit was $500 and that was gone in a few months time.

I came home from school, dropped out because I got an awesome job with a fat signing bonus, and was able to job hop and bonus my way to a pretty good income. Obviously this was just before the bubble burst, but luckily I’ve been able to avoid layoffs and downsizing pretty well. I’ve always had a little bit of credit card debt, a few thousand here a few thousand there, nothing that couldn’t be taken care of with one or two large payments. My girlfriend (now wife) had similar debt on credit cards, and decided to apply for a card with a 0% balance transfer so that she could pay her card off without the interest rate. So she got the card, with plenty of room for her other cards to be put on… and about 8,000 more on top of that in available credit.

It started with one game for a few hundred… then another couple games for another few hundred… soon it was $1000 a game, and soon that card was dead.

Then I got a card from the same bank….and there went another $8,000, same style… I had a few wins here and there for a few thousand, sometimes running up almost enough in my account to withdrawl and payoff the card….but I’d be about $1,000 short or $2,000 short, so I kept it in there and eventually went busto trying to climb back.

Around this time I discovered poker (3-ish years ago), and spent all of my available money learning the game, and learning to get my ass kicked at the game. I’d play games way over my head (5/10 with $100, etc.) and either make a quick score or lose and re-deposit the next day and try it again. I eventually took my act to the local casino (large major east coast casino), and played in the low limit games there, more for fun and drinking than to make any serious cash.

My wife and I got married last year, and we scored a ton of money from the wedding – had about 170 guests and cashed in for close to 8k. Since we had been paying down the debt on our cards, this was about 2k short of what we needed to pay off everything. Well I had a great idea about how we could easily get that 2k in no time…..and in no time we were back to being 12k in the hole. Fast forward to January of this year…..

I spoke to my father and told him that with this big fat bunch of debt at 22% interest on the credit card I could see no way out, so he told me he’d give me the 12k, and I could just pay him back each month at 0% interest instead of the high credit card rates. This was perfect, a way out – my parents are not wealthy by any means but my father saw this as an opportunity to help his son, and he knows my wife and I both have great jobs, are true to our words and good for the money.

I paid off the credit cards on January 2, 2006. On January 3, I was down 6k to sports betting again. I then went on a sick heater, and won about 12k gambling sports and playing table games at the casino. Enough to pay off what I blew in January and make a good chunk in paying my father back. But I blew that too.

In February and March, I hovered back and forth between betting sports and table games, playing occasional poker but using the winnings from that to finance my other gambling habits. By the end of March, I was 13k in the hole on credit cards (half of it cash advances) in addition to the 12k my father loaned me.

I played poker for a little while, playing the bankroll building game, but every time I’d reach $1000-$1500, I’d withdraw it and throw it on a game, to try and double it so I could make more money playing poker – I only won once, I lost every other time. I never took the one win out to play poker, I tried to double down and hit for an even bigger score.

The months of April and May were pretty much dominated by table games at the casino – big wins, bigger losses – playing higher and higher, taking out cash advances on the credit cards. Eventually I ended up where everyone ends up… BUSTO.

In June we went on vacation for 10 days, took some time off of work to relax, play golf, enjoy life (as much as we could you know) – at the same time, we got credit card increases from the banks…. The $8,000 in increases was blown throughout the course of the vacation, usually in $1,000 increments on World Cup or day baseball games… a few wins, but as always, bigger losses. I finally broke down and did what I never though I’d have to do - I called my mother one night in tears telling her what I had done, what I had done with my father’s money, and what I had done with my credit cards. I thought that would be the turning point.

I came home from vacation, and due to temporarily good credit (the credit reporting agencies hadn’t caught up with the huge balances on the cards just yet), was able to secure a few 0% for 12-month on balance transfer and one large 3.9% lifetime balance transfer cards to get all of the debt onto. Perfect, now I’ve got a year to really dig into these balances free of interest (the 3.9% one would just be minimum payments as the rate would never go up, so I’d take care of that after the 0% were out of the way)

I think you know where this story goes – before I could finally, finally get the high interest cards cancelled (or in this case re-issued with new numbers I hadn’t memorized and instantly shredded), I ran them back up on sports and table games.

So here I sit today, close to $46,000 in debt to credit cards and $10,000 in debt to my father. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus at work, I can’t think of anything besides how utterly disappointed I am in myself and what I’ve done to my life and to my family. My father has no clue that I’ve racked up this amazing amount of debt, but as I had another conversation with my mother this morning, sooner or later we’re going to have to clue him in – not because I’m looking for more money, just because part of the reason this burns me up so bad and makes it hurt so bad is because I am close with my father and have to lie to him all the time when he asks how it’s going, and how I’m doing money-wise.

I’m confident I can make money playing poker – PokerTracker tells me this over many many many thousands of hands – my problem with poker has been that I’m always chasing a number that I can reach to pay off my debt, I’m never just playing poker to win money and dominate games. For example, 3 times in the last month I’ve deposited between $700-$1000 on separate occasions, and proceeded to sit in the games I know I can crush and ran the money up to $4k-$5k. Hindsight would dictate that I should have pulled that out and cut into my huge debt with it, but I always just looked at the $4k-$5k as the only vehicle I have to $10k-$15k, so I try to take shots at big games and get crushed. It’s a terrible feeling afterwards because I’d obviously much rather have that money back and either stay in the good games I played to get there or use it to cut into my debt. I see stories about these kids that run $1k into five figures or higher and I suppose that clouds my judgement – I’ve been told time and time again to just stick to the games I know I can beat, but the weight of all of this debt forces me (in my mind) to continue to press it up and play higher.

Why am I posting this? Well, because I know there are people who will read this, lurkers, current posters, etc. who are victims of the same cycle. I want people who are in the middle of something like this to read my story and realize that if you stop now, it’s not going to get any worse. If you never bet another game or never play craps or blackjack again, you can’t get any deeper. I realize most of the replies to this are going to be “YSSCKY”, and trust me, I have (in addition to declaring bankruptcy, etc.) – but I’m okay with that. Anyone with anything helpful to say, feel free to reach out (via reply or PM). Thanks for providing me the forum to air this out.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Jesus, this made me sick to my stomach. Can you declare bankruptcy and go to GA?

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Hi,

Honest post. Terrible story.

I don't think that poker is a good way out of this for you as you don't seem have the discipline for it. I assume from your post that you know this.

My suggestion would be not to return to this site and/or post here.

Get all your debt on as low interest as you can and work super hard to pay them off. It's going to be a long hard struggle. I wish you well.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

With all respect, in your current situation I would not participate in any form of gambling at the moment- why risk making matters worse?

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

im terribly sorry to hear this.

please consider all options including but not limited to GA, bankruptcy, confession to your father/working w/ a dedicated financial planner to get your life back on track.

yo have a job. and a family. both will help you. you can beat this debt, it's just a matter of time, patience, and above all discipline.

GL and best wishes.

Barron

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

My advise is to stay away from all forms of gambling--even poker--for your family's sake until you have both the debt and yourself under control.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

You have a serious addiction to gambling.

STOP TODAY. CALL GA AND GET TO A MEETING.

E-mail every poker site you've played at. Tell them to cancel your accounts and never let you open another one. Make sure they know you have a gambling addiction.

You've told your Mom what is going on. Does your wife know the extent of the problem?

Cut up your credit cards, right now. You need to start living on a cash basis. No more credit.

If you want a good life you will need to reconcile with never betting another cent, not sports, not poker, not the lottery.

Then you need to sit down with someone and figure out if you can realistically pay off this debt. If there's any way you can, you should rather than declare bankruptcy.

It's bad, but if you can get it under control now, it can be dealt with before it sucks your whole life down the drain.

You can do this and if you will your life will be significantly brighter a year from now. Taking responsibility today is your only way out. Be an adult. Do it.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

I do feel bad for you. But super shame on you for turning on your own family, muchless your family. No respect. If you are gonna bring yourself down, that's up to you, taking your family down too is just wrong.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

I feel bad for you. I hope things turn out alright. You know what you need to do- be strong and do it. I highly recommend finding a hobby or two that you can totally immerse yourself in.

The one thing that really bothered me about your story was your vacation. WTF are you doing taking a 10 day golf vacation when you owe your Dad money? I assume you went on a honeymoon last year when you got married. Maybe you should take up camping for your vacations. It's a lot cheaper.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

thank you

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

The OP's story may seem egregious, but as poker players (and perhaps as gamblers in general) all of us are playing with fire, no matter how disciplined we consider ourselves. Who among us hasn't felt the urge to take our entire bankroll to a higher-limit table after a particularly bad session, hoping to make it all back? Some of us possess more self-control than others, but this should be a cautionary tale to everyone as to the compulsive and destructive behavior any form of gambling is capable of engendering.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
The OP's story may seem egregious, but I play with fire, no matter how disciplined I consider myself. I have often felt the urge to take my entire bankroll to a higher-limit table after a particularly bad session, hoping to make it all back. Some of you possess more self-control than I do, but this should be a cautionary tale to myself as to the compulsive and destructive behavior any form of gambling is capable of engendering.

[/ QUOTE ]


FYP

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]

I spoke to my father and told him that with this big fat bunch of debt at 22% interest on the credit card I could see no way out, so he told me he’d give me the 12k, and I could just pay him back each month at 0% interest instead of the high credit card rates. This was perfect, a way out – my parents are not wealthy by any means but my father saw this as an opportunity to help his son, and he knows my wife and I both have great jobs, are true to our words and good for the money.

I paid off the credit cards on January 2, 2006. On January 3, I was down 6k to sports betting again. I then went on a sick heater, and won about 12k gambling sports and playing table games at the casino. Enough to pay off what I blew in January and make a good chunk in paying my father back. But I blew that too.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is pitiful.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

wow. good luck man.

at least u realize now. better now than later, when u can't dig urself out.

46K is a lot of money. but it's also not an impossible debt.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

This story is so cliche, and one we have heard a million times. Look, you are an irresponsible idiot, and you get EXACTLY what you deserve for your stupidity. You knowingly take -EV gambles, and you get what you expect in the long run. Don't shine a negative light on my source of income because you are too dumb to be able to handle the freedom offered to you. "Bla bla addictive, cant control myself, bla bla, I'm a MORON". I hope your wife leaves you and your kids hate you, because you deserve it for what you have done. I also hope I am the one contributing to your ruin every time you are at one of my tables taking a shot.

Good luck at being less of a moron,

Little Jim

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

pretty harsh and unnecessary little jim.


oneofyou - seriously, gamblers anonymous has to be considered at some point because you obviously don't seem capable of controlling your sports-betting urges. But the problem here is that you really probably are good enough to make back the money in poker and obviously GA would frown on this.

Perhaps partly depends on what kind of job you have and how much it pays.
If you are making a pretty good salary there then you should probably give up poker also. Even if you're +EV at it I think it's probably too much of a trigger in your brain to lead back to the sports-betting.

If your job pays so little that there's no way you'll be able to pay off the debt then I guess your best shot is to grind away at the poker tables and hope you can control your sports-betting impulses. But I don't think this is very likely to work as you haven't had any success doing that before.


I don't know anything about financial stuff but aren't there options to work some of this stuff out with the CC companies or declare bankruptcy or stuff like that?

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Condolences on your situation. I grew up around addiction and have some insight into just how difficult it can be for all involved.

Seek help immediately for your serious gambling problem. Call GA. Enter a recovery program. For the sake of your health, your family, your finances. Do it now.

As for the rest, I'm not an expert by any means, but I do have some suggestions:

Close all your gambling accounts, and make clear it's because you have a gambling addiction. Most definitely include poker sites. Addiction can damage the lives and relationships of even proven +EV players, and you are not in that category despite your ability to show profits for short periods of time. +EV players play within their means. You clearly don't possess that ability.

Purge your computer(s) of gambling software and grant your wife sole administrator access, protected by a password known only to her, so that you can be prevented from installing software.

Do your local casinos have provisions for dealing with problem gamblers? If so, make them aware of the situation.

Have your wife immediately contact all your credit card companies to change all numbers and get rid of the cards that don't have a balance. Removing your name from the cards would also be a good idea. You shouldn't have any access to credit or large sums of cash for the foreseeable future. Henceforth all cards live with your wife, and make sure she knows she needs to be very careful about not leaving bills lying around -- set up electronic billing, if possible, with everything going to through email and bank accounts you don't have have access to.

All major withdrawals/financial transactions should go through your wife for the time being. Get her to change your online banking passwords and give up your ATM card(s) for your existing accounts. You should also consider closing all existing personal accounts and requiring dual signing (if possible) on joint accounts. Set up a new bank account for you that she can monitor the balance of. She can transfer relatively small amounts into it as necessary.

Sit down with your wife and come up with a concrete plan to reduce expenses and systematically pay down your debt. Talk to your credit card companies about repayment options. Visit a financial planner or non-profit credit counselling service if you need assistance.

I'd also stop visiting all gambling-related sites, including this one.

Best wishes to you and yours. I hope your recovery is successful and that your finances recover in time. Baby steps.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
This story is so GOOD, and one us true gamblersshould hear a million times. You knowingly take -EV gambles because of your gambling problem , and you get what you expect in the long run.

Moreover, Little Jim is a MORON". I hope his wife leaves him and his kids hate him too, because he deserves it for what he has said. I also hope I am the one contributing to his ruin every time he is at one of my tables taking a shot.

Good luck at being less of a moron Little Jim

[/ QUOTE ]

Time to come clean to your family and yourself.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]


Perhaps partly depends on what kind of job you have and how much it pays.
If you are making a pretty good salary there then you should probably give up poker also. Even if you're +EV at it I think it's probably too much of a trigger in your brain to lead back to the sports-betting.

If your job pays so little that there's no way you'll be able to pay off the debt then I guess your best shot is to grind away at the poker tables and hope you can control your sports-betting impulses. But I don't think this is very likely to work as you haven't had any success doing that before.




[/ QUOTE ]
Micro,
I disagree. If he has a poor paying job, the last thing he should be doing is playing poker. Thats what got him in this mess in the first place. If he isn't making much, he should either get a better job or a second job so that he has a guaranteed income that he can put towards paying down his debt.

OP,
Stop the gambling right now. Talk to an addiction specialist to get your head straight and get a plan together for paying off the debt. Good luck.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

wow this is pretty harsh im sorry to hear [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

gl with your future and please stop playing poker

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

I will reply as one of those 'family members' you mention.

My background is working class, buy my wife's family has money on both her (divorced) parents' sides.

Her dad is a degenerate gambler.

He owns a company and earns good cash flow from it; but he is pissing away the legacy he inherited and could pass to the next generations as fast as he can go.

He has had to sell a million-dollar house to pay off bookies, he spends every weekend at the track losing his ass, and he recently had to borrow from a loan shark to make payroll for his company. He owes tens of thousands to one of his other children.

The resentment this fosters against him from the rest of his family is great.

Coming clean to the board anonymously isn't good enough. You already debased yourself to your parents and that wasn't good enough.

You need to hit GA immediately, and get your head and your ass wired together.

You are playing with your family's love and respect, as well as your children's future.

Take it from one of the downline generations. The urge I feel to kick my father-in-law's ass whenever I see him is powerful. Don't have people looking at you the same way.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

wow man i dont know what to say. obviously you are extremely reckless and have a serious gambling problem. thats easy to realize and im sure you know its true. now the problem is your debt. how the hell are you going to get out of a 50k debt? which is why you turn to gambling. you see gambling as the only way to have a chance to fix your life. itll take years of work at your job to pay off your yet and with the interest rate youre forced to pay on your yet it might take forever.

you do have an opportunity to turn your life around. that opportunity is being introduced to 2p2 and to poker. you have the opportunity to claim discipline and responsibility in your life. you can dedicate your time to really learning how to play the game of poker through avid reading of the strategy forums. you can discipline yourself to no longer take shots at games in which you arent bankrolled for. learn how to become skilled at poker and learn the art of multitabling and you can make a very significant hourly rate in low limit games. i know that i personally turned $100/hr 8tabling 3/6 for a while. this may be possible for you to. but realize it may take a very long time to get out of debt. you arent going to solve your problems overnight. you are going to have to accept that slow and steady wins the race and playing the game of the rabit is whats lead you here.

if you decide to play the game of the tortoise you may get out of debt within a couple of years if youre skilled, disciplined and fortunate, maybe much less than that. if you cant find it in yourself to become disciplined and responsible, it may take a decade or longer to get out of debt, or it may even get progressively worse.

poker is a double-edged sword

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
You have a serious addiction to gambling.

STOP TODAY. CALL GA AND GET TO A MEETING.

E-mail every poker site you've played at. Tell them to cancel your accounts and never let you open another one. Make sure they know you have a gambling addiction.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
you have the opportunity to claim discipline and responsibility in your life. you can dedicate your time to really learning how to play the game of poker through avid reading of the strategy forums. you can discipline yourself to no longer take shots at games in which you arent bankrolled for. learn how to become skilled at poker and learn the art of multitabling and you can make a very significant hourly rate in low limit games.

[/ QUOTE ]

He has a gambling problem and this is definetaly not a legitimate option.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Don't know what to say, i'll never understand the logic behind a gambling addiction. maybe because i have high willpower and avoid these? Maybe because i think psychological addictions are BS?


You know like the fat people who eat their buckets of ice cream and say "Ive tried dieting but i just cant"? Wow they annoy me.

However after reading this story im undecided, however good luck to you. Go to GA and get some help, although you seem very concerned to be found out(hence the new name to post this). You need to just put down your pride/ego and get it sorted.


All the best,
Do yourself a favour & email add gambling sites informing them of your addiction so your accounts are terminated. Your best off not playing at all untill you get help you need.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
My advise is to stay away from all forms of gambling--even poker--for your family's sake FOREVER.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Micro,
I disagree. If he has a poor paying job, the last thing he should be doing is playing poker. Thats what got him in this mess in the first place. If he isn't making much, he should either get a better job or a second job so that he has a guaranteed income that he can put towards paying down his debt.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree that the last thing OP should be doing is playing poker to get out of debt. That's what got him there in the first place as it's obvious he can't control the levels he plays at and is always chasing losses and doubling up when he wins.

OP, if your salary isn't enough to come up with a reasonable plan to get out of debt, then search for a higher paying job or get another part-time job (or both). Filing for bankruptcy is the weasel way out. You spent the money so suck up and pay off the debts. The real sad part of the story is that you've brought the family along for the ride. It's too bad your wife has to put up with tough times, while struggling to pay off the debt, because you were an idiot.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

you realize that he has no way to get out of debt other than to get good at poker right? telling him to quit gambling is a nice showcase of ideaology and problem avoidance.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Jesus, no. This may be the worst advice I've ever seen.

Have you ever been in a situation where you've had a family to provide for and 50k in debt? You sound like a winning player so I'm going to assume you haven't. And for that matter, neither have I. But can you imagine psychologically how difficult it must be to wager money when you are that deep in the hole? I mean, people start playing scared when they have a 10k downswing with a 40k roll. How do you NOT play scared when you start downswinging and you're 50k in debt?

Also, OP's primary problem is that HE IS NOT GOOD AT POKER. What he is doing is basically a reverse form of table selection, where every time he has some money he moves up in limits and ends up facing better players. Being actively bad at table selection will make any player - EV, and it's worse in his case because when he moves up in limits and faces better players, the stakes go up as well.

The worst thing is, his problem isn't even that easy to fix. You can give any fish with an 80 vpip a hand chart, and he'll improve his game immediately. But this guy knows that moving up stakes is wrong, and he still does it anyway. Some people just have too much gamble in them, and that's not a switch that they can just flick on and off.

To OP: Just quit completely. Don't even visit this forum. Good luck with your life. Your family will be upset, but in the end they are your family and will support you through this.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you have the opportunity to claim discipline and responsibility in your life. you can dedicate your time to really learning how to play the game of poker through avid reading of the strategy forums. you can discipline yourself to no longer take shots at games in which you arent bankrolled for. learn how to become skilled at poker and learn the art of multitabling and you can make a very significant hourly rate in low limit games.

[/ QUOTE ]

He has a gambling problem and this is definetaly not a legitimate option.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agree 100%. Poster has to let go of poker and gambling completely. He just doesn't have the right type of mindframe for it. It's not a knock on him, just something he has to learn to overcome.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

ive hit rock bottom a couple of times in my life if theres any similarities. you can feel like there is no way out and feel overburdened. this is why he keeps losing more money, he keeps playing bigger games to try to get lucky and get it all back which is obviously the wrong attitude. i agree that he should ideally quit gambling forever but what im saying is that poker may be his only outlet for recovery. that is, if he can actually control himself and build discipline. if he cant do that and he starts moving up again then of course he has to quit. if he can discipline himself to never move up in limits until he has 1000BB+ plus reasonable expectation for an increase in hourly rate he may be able to pull out. just because hes had a past of uncontrollable gambling problems shouldnt mean he cant find a way to adhere to good bankroll management. i think a guy whos hit rock bottom should come to the realization that his only chance of turning it around and making good for himself is to take responsibility, build patience and overcome your gambling problem. ultimately hes going to make the decision whether hes going to quit gambling or not. if hes willing to accept his 50k+ in debt and never turn to gambling again then thats awesome, good for him. if he does turn back to gambling at least ive tried to make him realize that the only way hell be able to overcome his gambling problem is to never move up in limits ever again until you are overbankrolled. to add in other guidelines he should never move up until hes played nearly 100k hands at each level and has a winrate of over 2. it sounds like he knows hes a winning player at low limits. i dont think he should just throw that opportunity away if he can learn to control himself.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

There's a lot of good advice in this thread about stopping gambling altogether.

One thing I think could be emphasized moore although its been mentioned above is the debt management part.

Get in touch with a credit management service to get a handle on the debt you have. Sometimes they can get reduced interest rates and reduced principles. At the very least they can get a realistic plan for you to pay the money back.

You may be in for lean times, but you say that both you and your wife have good jobs, which means its quite likely that over the course of 5-8 years you can get out from under this burden without having to resort to gambling.

Its not easy, trust me, I know. But when you finally get to the end of the tunnel, life is sweet indeed (at least financially).

This is serious debt I know, but its probably not unmanageable. Once you get it into your head that you aren't looking for a quick fix, but will handle it over a period of years, and you get a handle on your gambling problem, I expect your life will feel much better to you.

Don't blow off the advice in this thread, seek help and good luck.

Some Advice...
 

I am very sorry to read this, posting on 2+2 generally exposes me to people who do not have these kinds of problem, or at least the scale is generally much different. As many have pointed out, you clearly have a gambling problem. You need to immiadiatley cease playing any sort of pit game, sports betting... all stuff of that nature. It's degenerate stuff, and it has destroyed people who have amassed much more wealth than you have.

Now, i have no idea how good you are at poker, what your track record is, etc... If you have a solid long term record, you can make this money back in a year or two playing 2-4 to 5-10 limit, where you do not need a big bankroll, and you don't need to move up past there. Here is what you need to think about...

It sounds like you are fortunate to have a good support network of family... given the way you have handled yourself, you should realize how lucky you are to still have their support. As a man, it's your responsibility to take care of your family, not pursue your own interests at their expense. That has to stop now. If poker can be a vehicle to help in that process, that go about it the right way, grind out, play LOW STAKES, and let your talent assist in this recovery process. Your problem is the one that i see with most people who gamble compusivley... you seem opposed to hard work and you want to make a quick score. People with this mentality either get themselves into a hole early, or get lucky and get themselves into a hole later.

You need to focus on your family and your career. Mend your relationships, perform well at your job, and if you make make an extra $30/hour playing poker, then make sure you put in 10-15 hours a week in the evenings and on the weekends, and you will be out of debt in a year or two. So much of this is psychology and getting yourself into the right mindset to become sucessful here, you have the right variables at your disposal, you just need to stop abusing them and get your act together. Do me a favor, turn this all around and give us an update in a year a two, linking this old post to your new one.

Best of luck to you,

Gabe

Re: Some Advice...
 

To the OP:

I've been in your shoes, and dug a huge hole for myself out of college betting on dog racing of all things.

The thing about your situation that struck a chord with me about your situation is NOT the money. Sure, $50k is a lot right now, but in the long run it is nothing. Trust me. The debt is far less important than getting your head and emotions in the right frame.

What I gather is important to you right now is your Dad. You have to fess up to him and tell him the truth. It will suck. Been there. He will be disappointed and you will feel like garbage, but it will be a relief to get it out in the open. Again, it will be hard, but think about this: if you had a son who was in a lot of emotional pain, wouldn't you want to be able to help him? Wouldn't you want to know the truth? Even if your son screwed up, wouldn't you still love him? It's not like you went out and shot a guy, you just lost some money being stupid. I hated telling my Dad about my problem, but it's been years now, and time heals all wounds. Once again, the money sounds huge now, but debt is the least of the issues. Fess up to your dad, go to GA. Still play poker (if you can keep in in control), and stop the pit and sports betting.

I don't know if a degenerate gambler ever can overcome his gambling, but I think he can keep it in control. This may sound pathetic to some of you, but when I go to Vegas, my wife gives me a daily allowance, and takes my atm card away. This is the only way it will work for me.

Best wishes to you, and I hope you know that you can make things better, and it WILL get better.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

man, posting this anonymously is so gutless.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Very sorry for your situation. I strongly agree that you should quit gambling altogether. Posters who recommend that you grind it out in low-limit poker are offering you a solution that would work for them, but is not practical for you. Your problem is not skill, but discipline.
You should at least talk to a bankruptcy lawyer about the credit card debt. They deal with situations like these all the time. Probably a much more efficient way to handle the issue. And don't feel bad for the credit card companies, they will be just fine with their 20% rates.
Don't waste energy beating yourself up. We all face obstacles and we need help from friends and family to pull through. The possibility of hurting your relationship with your father or wife should be a much bigger concern than your debt. Send us another message when you're back on track, we'd appreciate the update.

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
man, posting this anonymously is so gutless.

[/ QUOTE ]

uhh....

not really

Re: This is my story (long, boring)
 

Gambling addiction is a progressive disease. OP's best solution is finishing the approach he has started.

* Open up to his family about the nature and scope of the problem. They can be his strongest support.
* Find a competent therapist with an adjunct support group to learn how the problem originated and how to control the urges. Gambling addiction is a complex problem but knowledge is power. Many states, especially those with casino gambling, have these resources available.
* Stay completely away from any gambling activity.
* You can probably speed the recovery process and minimize your losses. See a competent bankruptcy attorney. Don't even think about the "shame" of it. Credit card companies are the ones who should be ashamed. And don't worry about your "credit rating" it will recover faster after bankruptcy than it would have if you spent years struggling through it. Talk to a professional.

Many winning poker players are skilled enough to beat the other players, over time, by enough to overcome the rake and show a profit. Everyone reading this knows that. But what we don't all know or least don't consider sometimes is that some losing players (estimates vary but generally are about 2-5% of people who gamble) are dealing with personal tendencies and personality issues that make it IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN in the long run. No matter how well they understand the game.

IMO advising such a player to "play his way through it" is not far removed from yelling "JUMP" to deter a confused potential suicide on a ledge. If OP knows he has a problem, and it sounds like he does, he already knows the answer. STOP. THINK. GET HELP.