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-   -   crazy night:: again I dont get the girl (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=173665)

[censored] 07-29-2006 08:09 AM

crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 



ok I am still very drunk so I hioe this makes snesene.

tonight I decieded to go out to a new bar, with just me and my book. all I want to do is read a few chapters have a few drinks and get out some, very low keu.

the thing is that if you want people and girls to come talk to you I guess bringing a book is the ticker because all night girls interupted my reading to talk to me about the stupist [censored] things. one notable one even tried to get take a drink from my drink and I said "wtf arwe you trying to drink from my drink because that i gross and I will have to order another" and then she said " we will encounter each other later and did this rubbing thing to my stomach" and I mwas like "encounter? wtf does that mean you are oi=going to stab me?" and then she left.

then this older not cute girl came up to me as said "you're not reading you're just trying to not fall asleep" and I said no "im like this book" and then she scratched my stomach

later I started to talking to this guy also named Jeremy so I figured he was cool and it turns out he works at a place I used to work out many years ago. so we shot the [censored], the thing abut Jeremy is objectively speaking he is much better looking than I am and he also has this awesome I dont give a [censored] about girls way that I only wish I could have. this is important later.

so later this pretty hot blonde girl with boobs hanging out starts hanging all over Jeremy and I was talking with this other dude and said something like "Jeremy is the [censored] man" and I guess boobs mcblondey saw me say something because then she let other Jeremy and was like "what did you say? about me" and I was like "I said Jeremy is the [censored] man" and she was like "why do you say that?" and I was like "give me a break you know why he is the man" and then she moved all up close on me and was like "what if I told you I thought you were cuter than Jeremy" and I was like "my name is Jeremy" and I think girls like to scratch stomachs because she did that as well and then she did some kissing thing to my neck but Jeremy looked pissed so I said "im going outside to smoke" which I did she followed, so did other Jeremy

i get outside and start smoking which I dont do only when drinking but I was drunk because I was drinking grey goose on the rocks, I tried grey goose and tonic first but it turns out I hate rtonic f so I didnt frink ir antmore.

then the girl her name was laurissa or something likethat said she had to pee and I said she go to the bathroom then because it will only get worse but she said no because you will leave and I said no I will just smoke, she went pee.

she came back and I said I wanted a milk shake and was going to walk to go get one, she said sherris? and I said no I bam boycotting that pkace but there is another and she can come. she said she would walk but she had to take off her shoes, she made a point of saying how mhch shorter she was without them which was weird, we started walking and she was holding my hand alot but there was a catch. other Jeremy decided he was coming with us as well. this was fine I just wanted a milk shake, actually a malt.

but on the walk it got really weird because they started arguing alot and were mean to each other, he was pissed abuot something and she was pissed about him being pissed and I just wanted a malt. it was weirder because he was pissed, and she wsa holding my hand so it was almost like he was pissed at me, but I didnt even know this dude or this chick, I felt bad like I had done something to piss off other Jeremy but at the same time I was thinking having some sex tnight would be cool so I felt torn I kept walking and so did they.

about halk way there they started arguing again and she let go of my hand he was upset about being led on and she said she didnt and he was just jealous, all I knew was that I wanted a [censored] milk shake, I pressed on leaving them both behind.

I got to the diner, alone without the girl, I had the milk shake but no sex also I forgot my [censored] book.

such is my life

-Skeme- 07-29-2006 08:17 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Bravo. Terribly incoherent, yet I always knew where I was.

Peca277 07-29-2006 08:31 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Sounds like other [censored] was upset you chose the girl over him.

Cyrus 07-29-2006 08:47 AM

American Splendor
 
Fantastic.

Harvey Pekar, here they come.

Peter Harris 07-29-2006 08:56 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
"encounter? wtf does that mean you are oi=going to stab me?"

[/ QUOTE ]

yup, that line always bags the chicks for me too.

jokerthief 07-29-2006 09:11 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
This is one of the better drunk posts I have read. Dude, what's up with chicks rubbing your belly? Is that an Oregonian thing? Also, I don't think the other Jeremy is the man. He cock blocked you, what a little bitch! You need to quit being so nice to your competition and keep your eye on the prize. Then again I know how Grey Goose is, you probably were in no condition to do anything tonight.

Peter Harris 07-29-2006 09:52 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think the other Jeremy is the man. He cock blocked you, what a little bitch!

[/ QUOTE ]

true say

Fedfan691 07-29-2006 09:58 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
later I started to talking to this guy also named Jeremy so I figured he was cool and it turns out he works at a place I used to work out many years ago.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like how you assumed that because the guy had the same name as you that he was cool.

MyPetTurtle 07-29-2006 10:02 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Man you were in, you just needed to stand up for yourself and you would've got some.

Edge34 07-29-2006 10:05 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
Man you were in, you just needed to stand up for yourself and you would've got some.

[/ QUOTE ]

Malt Drive 1, Sex Drive 0

ahnuld 07-29-2006 10:17 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Why not say youll come to the bathroom with her, then fool around with her there? Or does that stuff not fly past 21?

SackUp 07-29-2006 10:21 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
bringing a book with you to a bar?

is this a lounge like place? is there good lighting so you can actually read? isn't it too loud? all if this is very intriguing to me as I don't think I have ever heard of this or seen this happen before.

good read - at least you got the malt. this sounds like it could be a fight club scene with you fighting with your alter ego for the girl - maybe you did eff her?

miajag 07-29-2006 10:41 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
bringing a book with you to a bar?


[/ QUOTE ]

FWIW I see guys do this pretty often. They come alone, they leave alone.

tdarko 07-29-2006 11:20 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Finally an interesting drunk post. It is weird how sometimes when you get drunk you get that one track mind and if you want a [censored]' malt then you're going to have a [censored]' malt.

Other Jeremy is a douche, he was blocking out like Dennis Rodman.

mmbt0ne 07-29-2006 12:01 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
later I started to talking to this guy also named Jeremy so I figured he was cool and it turns out he works at a place I used to work out many years ago.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like how you assumed that because the guy had the same name as you that he was cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

You've obviously never taken a social psychology class.

TimM 07-29-2006 12:09 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
so later this pretty hot blonde girl with boobs hanging out starts hanging all over Jeremy

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
and then she moved all up close on me and was like "what if I told you I thought you were cuter than Jeremy" and I was like "my name is Jeremy" and I think girls like to scratch stomachs because she did that as well and then she did some kissing thing to my neck

[/ QUOTE ]

You're both total strangers in a bar that she only just met?

Maybe things worked out for the best.

dogdrool 07-29-2006 12:54 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
First, bringing a book to a bar is a sure-fire way to meet chicks. You stand out, you're doing something interesting (oh, what's he reading, is it good, blah), it presents a zillion ice breakers, and girls would never think you were doing it just to meet them.

Second, I don't know if I would have been down with holding that girl's hand. I hold hands with my girlfriend, but I'm very hesitant to hold hands with some random girlie. I could maybe see myself holding hands in a certain setting, like we leave a bar together and start walking down a beach and I'm thinking I might be able to bone her in the sand. Somehow the beach seems like the right setting. Otherwise, I feel pwned by hand holding.

Third, that other friggin Jermey clearly cock blocked you. What an ass.

Fourth, I really enjoyed your story. I kinda want a malt now.

diddle 07-29-2006 01:00 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
*

bent96 07-29-2006 01:04 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
If you were a basketball and this girl was trying to take a shot with you, other Jeremy definitely just stepped in front with his dick waving and blocked the shot.

Evenkeal 07-29-2006 01:15 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
*

[/ QUOTE ]

diddle, did you read who the OP is? lol.

Evenkeal 07-29-2006 01:21 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]

all I want to do is read a few chapters have a few drinks and get out some, very low keu.


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

"wtf arwe you trying to drink from my drink because that i gross and I will have to order another" and then she said " we will encounter each other later and did this rubbing thing to my stomach" and I mwas like "encounter? wtf does that mean you are oi=going to stab me?" and then she left.


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

and then she did some kissing thing to my neck but Jeremy looked pissed so I said "im going outside to smoke" which I did she followed, so did other Jeremy


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

I felt bad like I had done something to piss off other Jeremy but at the same time I was thinking having some sex tnight would be cool so I felt torn I kept walking and so did they.


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

all I knew was that I wanted a [censored] milk shake, I pressed on leaving them both behind.


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

I got to the diner, alone without the girl, I had the milk shake but no sex also I forgot my [censored] book.


[/ QUOTE ][ QUOTE ]

such is my life

[/ QUOTE ]

The prose here is excellent - seriously. <font color="white">not being sarcastic!</font>

inside?? 07-29-2006 02:32 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Nice tirp reoprt

Full Metal 07-29-2006 02:45 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Don't you see!!! You are Jeremy!!

El Diablo 07-29-2006 06:11 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[censored],

"I got to the diner, alone without the girl, I had the milk shake"

Was this a typo or did you actually get there and after all the drama forget that you wanted a malt? Or did they not have malts?

I had a vanilla malt w/ extra malt yesterday. It was great.

I also had drinks last night w/ a dude from Seattle named Jeremy.

And Thursday night this chick was doing that stomach rubbing/scratching thing.

Bizarre.

Stuey 07-29-2006 06:35 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y19...e06/tummy1.gif

SackUp 07-29-2006 07:03 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
ahahahaha

stuey FTW


can we get a scene at the bar with him, a book, jeremy 2 and tummy scratching girls?

aeest400 07-29-2006 08:11 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
Next time you should bring a stick with the book to help fight off the chicks. (Though you seemed to do an adequae job without one.)

Arbitrage 07-29-2006 08:24 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
At one point in every man's life they must choose: milkshake or sex.

Elevens 07-29-2006 09:52 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y19...e06/tummy1.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Genius.

[censored] 07-29-2006 11:48 PM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
El Diablo,

I'm glad you asked because I left out an important detail which made the night worse. They were out of malt mix so I had to settle for a shake. Sometimes I just can't win.

Your Mom 07-30-2006 02:12 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
that sux because MALT &gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; shake

El Diablo 07-30-2006 02:37 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[censored],

The similarities in our current life paths are jarring. Just last weekend I went to the BBQ place for some ribs and was denied and had to settle for brisket + links.

Rick305 07-30-2006 03:30 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
*

meccaNES 07-30-2006 03:43 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
other Jeremy decided he was coming with us as well. this was fine I just wanted a milk shake, actually a malt.

but on the walk it got really weird because they started arguing alot and were mean to each other, he was pissed abuot something and she was pissed about him being pissed and I just wanted a malt.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's called cock blocking...and [censored] ALWAYS try to goal tend when they know you've got a much better shot at getting laid then they do.

AllinDan 07-30-2006 04:21 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
[censored] - great story.

El D - Ribs are of course delicious, but Brisket and Links often steal the spotlight. Hardly comparable to a malt shortage.

Peter Harris 07-30-2006 04:53 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
ok, i'll bite...

why are you boycotting a milkshake place?

El Diablo 07-30-2006 06:02 AM

Re: crazy night:: again I dont get the girl
 
AiD,

Same thing. I refer you to the scene in Harold &amp; Kumar where they are watching two guys eat exactly what it is they were craving.


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