Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

I see hints...

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Somebody is being drunk and coy. Bad idea.

Full trip report, please.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Post your resume and references, please.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Unfortunately, no one is dead. I should stop now, I suppose.

Edit: not coy, I've been in jail for this. My version of trip report: I was a good guy and supported her. My friends and her friends and the cops version: I forced her into being nice to me. She was scared.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Why stalk one girl exclusively instead of trying to get to know a few different girls and find one that you can have a relationship with? Are you very picky? Do you meet many women? What's your relationship pattern like? What kind of women have you gone out with? What kid of women are you interested in?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Trenchcoat, or paramilitary dress?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

This is old news, so I don't see myself ever doing it again, though the possibility does exist.

At the time, she wasn't "one girl", she was the ONLY girl. I could not see anyone else but her. I did it. I didn't know what I was doing at the time, but it felt like what I was doing was right. I thought "I love you" so that means whatever I do is OK. My entire focus was her, there were no other girls. None. I could look at Playboy or porn or a girl at the bar--every single one was not worthy. They all fell short or reminded me of her.

Yes, I am picky. My current relationships appear ok.

It never felt like I chose to stalk her, it felt like my duty.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

This story sucks.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

sorry kyleb.

This sucks or is lucky, too. I went to her boyfriend's apt with a softball bat to bash him. I picked the lock but I couldn't get in cuz I was trying to push the door in, but it was a pull. I did this thrice.

Unfortunately there is no "she's dead" or otherwise spectacular finale to my story. There's just me realizing how stupid I was. I suppose I had ulterior motives to bringing this up, but I am serious in that I want to share to help others.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

It's getting better. Please disclose the full story.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Did you ever follow her without her knowledge?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Did you ever follow her without her knowledge?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I did. The scariest thing about this, is that every time I followed her, I made up a story about it. It has been over ten years since I've seen her, yet, even though I know the truth, I could still tell you about how I saw her eating at the sidewalk cafe, I pulled up and she hopped in my car. IT NEVER HAPPENED. I just watched from a distance. I know the truth is that I observed, but I could tell the story about how she hopped in and no one would ever know it was not the truth. Sometimes I'm still not sure what the reality was.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

How long did yoiu stalk her for? Were you employed at this time? Did you live alone?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

I was going to school and working part-time. I was living with my parents who were going through a divorce during this period.

I stalked her for about six months and then got a job at her Mother's law firm for three months (via her sister who was a friend of my brother), then had a semi-relationship with her, then stalked her after I stopped working for her Mom for about six months. Total stalking time: about one year.

Snowball, I suspect you think you might be a stalker or know someone you think is...If you question it, you probably aren't. Anyway, feel free to ask more direct questions or PM me. I went to jail for the second time I broke into her house, but I sought counselling for my problems on my own.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

How aware of the stalkage was she?

Give us some more stories of specific interesting events that occurred during your stalking.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

How confident are you that this won't happen again? (People don't tend to change much in my experience).

What did treatment entail?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

I don't think either her or I were really aware of the stalking until the last few months. I was in a fantasy land and she was just unaware, I suppose.

Specific? Yes. Interesting? I dunno: Her dog died, so she got a cute new puppy. I helped her train the new dog and grieve for the old. She left on vacation w/ her bf, so I stole the new dog. Hopped a six foot fence with a puppy under my arm. I had the dog for a few days before the Sheriff came to get her. Told the Sheriff, "Here's the [censored] dog for the bitch," as I handed the puppy to him. He looked like he understood my pain. He was the same [censored] who helped tackle me in the bushes a week later as I ran from her house after busting her window.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

are you on drugs? why are you posting this here?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Same question. You always seemed pretty sharp to me botw, but that's over the top.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

I'm fortunate that I'm a smart person, so I'll never repeat this. Could I repeat somthing similar? Absolutely. I was young when this happened. It could happen again, nothing is for sure. Do I trust myself? Yes. Have I changed? Yes and No. I still have the honesty and faithfulness, but they are not as absolute as I once thought they were. My therapist told me to read a book called, "Playing Ball on Running Water". I never read the book (though maybe I should), but the title taught me everything I needed to know at the time.

Basically, my treatment was for depression. I took SSRIs for a while. Some people focus on themselves, I focused on her. The best thing I learned was to BREATHE. It really amazes me how much just taking a breath helps.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

I am sharp. I didn't try to trip, I just stumbled.

I fell down.

It hurt.

I got up.

I want to help anyone else who is falling down. I only hope my words and thoughts here do that.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

this thesd neeeds to be beter by te tine I get up or [censored] will happne

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

When did you first meet her? Was it love at first sight? Did you ever have sex with her?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Are you Albert Belle?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

She was promiscuous. She was blonde and skinny with 36" [censored]. I like that, so yes "Love at first sight". I did have sex with her. We dated for a time.

After we broke up I broke into her house. I smashed her answering machine among other things. I bought her a new answering machine "to make amends", but I had the remote code. I usually knew where she was going and with whom. I would follow in some hollow hope that it wasn't true--she had to still love me. At the time it seemed reasonable, but sitting down the block, looking into a restaurant/bar window for hours is pretty [censored] dumb. Worse is not being able to find a parking spot close and hiding behind a tree across the street.

She figured out the answering machine thing when I called it when she was home. Soon after she got rid of the machine, I broke into her house again and was charged with b&e and domestic violence. Her Mom helped me get out of jail--I'm not sure why.

Edit: assface I trust your judgement, but like I said early on, no one died

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
She was promiscuous. She was blonde and skinny with 36" [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]
Do you have pics? Would you please post them?

Added bonus for the OP: if you come through here, you'll get [censored] off your back.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Pics would be sweet. I sympathize with the OP though. Falling madly in love and then having to deal with the fact that the creature you love and cherish is a skank has a profound emotional and mental impact. How can something so beautiful be so vulgar? It must really screw up the brain chemicals. Good luck with that.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29546

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, that's hilarious.

[ QUOTE ]
The most recent arrest came in May 1998, when he pretended to be a confession-booth priest in the hopes of manipulating a Fresno, CA, woman into unwittingly revealing her love for him.

[/ QUOTE ]

it's the way they described it - "Romantic Comedy-like behavior" - that makes it so hilarious. it's like imagining "Me, Myself and Irene" taking place in real life or something.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Have you ever told new girlfriends about this episode in your life?

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I picked the lock but I couldn't get in cuz I was trying to push the door in, but it was a pull. I did this thrice.


[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahahaha. Good job man, I wasn't vibing this thread but now I'm a fan.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
After we broke up I broke into her house. I smashed her answering machine among other things. I bought her a new answering machine "to make amends", but I had the remote code.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. This is pretty genius.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

when i was in high school, one of my (hot and female) classmates lived directly behind me. from my bedroom you could see the pool in her yard and the patio around it. from the balcony off the back of my house, you could see directly into her bedroom. i never really took advantage of this, as i considered her a friend and i'm not a scumbag.

plus i wanted to keep using her pool.

i had pretty slack parents and a huge house, so my friends would usually hang out at my place. i was a pretty slack kid, so they'd sometimes bring their friends to play my state of the art sega genesis on our massive 31" sony tv. often when i wasn't home. my parents were inexplicably okay with this. i said they were slack.

it turns out one of these friends of a friend was stalking the girl who lived behind me. i kinda hated him, but he'd show up at my house all the time. if i was home, he'd say he was looking for one of our mutual friends and leave. (this was in the dark ages pre everyone had a cel phone). if i wasn't home, he'd take advantage of my parents inability to tell my friends apart to hang out in my room or on the balcony, hoping for a glimpse of the object of his obsession. i had no idea this was going on until i came home after midnight with one of my nascent girlfriends intending to sneak her in the back. we sneak up the stairs, and this creepy dude is hidden on my balcony holding binoculars.

i didn't want to get busted breaking curfew and smuggling a girl into the house, so i just took his binoculars and told him never to visit my house again. i told my neighbor what was going on and apologized. three days later her brother caught him in my backyard at about 6am. after an ass kicking, he stopped using the backyard as a staging area, but didn't stop stalking her.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am sharp. I didn't try to trip, I just stumbled.

I fell down.

It hurt.

I got up.

I want to help anyone else who is falling down. I only hope my words and thoughts here do that.

[/ QUOTE ]

There still seems to be a kind of scary disassociation from reality and lack of responsibility here. You say that "unfortunately" she didn't die or something similar didn't happen -- whaaaa? And that the sheriff who tackled you a week later for breaking a window in her house and running off was a {censored]. I'm not sure what else he was supposed to do or how that made him a [censored]. Wouldn't you want the sheriff to catch the guy if it were your daughter, sister, mom, or friend? That wouldn't make him a [censored] at all. It would first of all mean he was just doing his job, and second of all it might even make him look like some kind of hero. It's strange after all this time that you are still referring to him negatively for basically catching an unbalanced, disruptive, trespassing, and possibly dangerous person fleeing from the scene of a crime -- and a crime which might well be only a precursor to something much, much worse.

In short, I'm surprised that there still seems to be an instinctive lack of perspective on your part. I'm sure that it's easy to punch stuff up or be sloppy or colorful for the sake of a more lively post, but your choices in describing the matter still seem to me a likely echo of the way you're actually feeling them, if not thinking about them. At some level, it sounds like you still feel that you were in the right and somehow wronged or misunderstood -- as if you're closer to the place you used to be than you really should be.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Pics would be sweet. I sympathize with the OP though. Falling madly in love and then having to deal with the fact that the creature you love and cherish is a skank has a profound emotional and mental impact. How can something so beautiful be so vulgar? It must really screw up the brain chemicals. Good luck with that.

[/ QUOTE ]

That doesn't sound like what was going on at all.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Party trashed my pics but there were no nudes. She was cute but nothing fantastic. Sorry.

I have never told a new girl the full details. My friends still give me [censored] about stealing her puppy, so any girls I've been with long enough have gotten to hear that part. Of course I try to spin it so I'm the hero saving the dog from a neglectful owner, not a creep. Her Mom got me 20 days, restitution, probation, and record purged so I doubt anyone could find out, though I've never bothered to make sure my record is clean.

I did a few romantic comedy like things. I called and sang for the two or three minutes her answering machine would allow. She actually called me back so I repeated this over and over and over again. She only called me back the one time. After she changed her number, I bought a convertable and drove by her office every day at lunch time hoping to see her and show her how successful I was. I never saw her. After a week or so, her boyfriend called me and told me to stop doing this. I scared him so much that he moved. Any time I went out with mutual friends, I would just stare at the door. Eventually, someone would tell me, "She's not coming," so I proceeded to get drunk and sit outside her house all night. On a couple of occasions, I played some romantic song loud enough that the neighbors called the police. Both times they sent me on my way though I should have gotten a DUI. I guess there is something really pathetic about the way I sing, "We were merely freshmen".

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Blargisright.

I hope you are still recieving counselling.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

The girl I went to prom with stalked me for a while. If I ever wanted to say anything to her, I'd just go out on my front porch and she'd drive by within 10 minutes or so. One night someone put a bunch of giant crawdads in my car while I was at a friends party. Naturally it was summer and me and my buddy driving home were both in flip flops. My buddy felt something crawling on his foot and started freaking out. We threw a bunch of them out, but they kept coming out from under the seat and everywhere. Creepy ride home.

I never proved it was her, but I'm pretty sure. She was a little spooky. Thank God I never went past 2nd with her. I might not be here.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Hi Blarg. I take full responsibilty for my actions and my actions were very bad. I was a very dangerous person, especially when drunk. I am very fortunate things turned out the way they did. Had I not been arrested, I don't think I would have changed. Being arrested did not directly change me and I don't think that anything our legal system could have done would. But, being arrested did help me start thinking which eventually led to me wanting to change.

Everyone around me knew there was a problem, but no one knew what to do. My friends and family tried to help. They were very frustrated with me since I didn't appear to be listening to them though they did listen to me. They tried to convince me to stop. I had my keys forcefully taken from me a number of times. I thank my family and friends for caring enough to listen and trying to help. Even though I didn't appear to be listening at the time, I hear them now.

The "unfortunately, no one died" is a lame attempt at humor. I fully intended to maim her boyfriend on a number of occasions. It wasn't until after her bf moved that I discovered how easily I could have invaded his home.

There does exist a disconnect on my part: I can't believe the things I thought and did were really me, but they really were me. I was a sad, jealous, pathetic and angry person. I try to laugh about it now even though it is not remotely funny. If I sound as though I am close to that place it is because I am. It is painful to think about this. I regret the things I did.

The girl is blameless. However, she did some things that I would not recommend my sister, Mom or friends do if confronted with a similar situation. 1) Tell your friends and family. I don't think her Mom would have helped me had she known the full extent of my activities. 2) Stop all contact. By answering the phone one time you are guaranteed many, many more calls. A restraining order just lets me know you are still thinking of me. 3) Call the police at the first sign of trouble. It is surprising to me now how long it took for the cops to get involved.

Re: Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...
 

Please make an mspaint of you with the puppy going over the fence.