Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

I'm probably gonna get flamed for this, but whatever. I'm 18 years old and going to start college this fall, btw.
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My parents seriously think that I am a degenerate who is "out of control" as my mom put it. I've tried and tried to explain poker to them in the past and they know that I'm a winning player or whatever, but despite this fact they think I'm obsessed and that I have no bearing of the real world (this couldn't be further from the truth). I get in about 25 hours of poker a week during the summer, which really isn't that much.

Here's the letter (I'm pretty damn proud of this, actually)
Feel free to use this as a letter to your parents if you're in a similar situation, changing what you need to change to make it suitable for your situation.
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Dear Mom and Dad,

I decided to write you this letter in hopes of explaining my feelings about poker, seeing as trying to explain in person obviously won’t work. I hope you appreciate my attempt to clear up this issue with as least conflict and noise as possible. Here goes.

My life kicks ass right now. It kicks ass because of two main things: the fact that I can drive, and poker. Obviously, I’m here to talk about the latter.

First off, we need to establish that there is not ONE THING in this world that I can do to make more money per hour at this point in my life… and probably at least for the next few years of my life. If I am able to study and turn myself into a great player, it wouldn’t be out of the question for me to make 100 or even 200 dollars an hour. I’ve always been an ambitious person when I set my mind to something, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m making this kind of money within the next year. But that’s a whole other issue, and it’s dumb for me to count my eggs before they hatch.

But like I said, I can not make this kind of money anywhere else. Let’s not forget the fact that I’m basically playing a game while getting paid. Instead of watching television for hours a day like MOST kids my age, I play a mentally challenging and rigorous game for a few hours a day, doing something productive while saving money for my future. I mean, what else do you expect me to do? Save the world, adopt children? If I wasn’t playing poker, I would be sitting on my ass doing something unproductive. You want me to work or get an internship in future years, that’s perfectly fine. I understand that these things are necessary for resume building and future contacts. I know how things work. I’d be fine with working 20 hours a week during the summer somewhere. I’d still be able to get plenty of time for poker in at the same time so it’s not an issue. Something like 40 hours really pushes it. How am I supposed to save money for my car if I’m working at some 8 dollar an hour job? I hope you realize that most kids in my situation have mommy and daddy BUY their car. These kids aren’t rich, nor are we. But we have money and are relatively well off. I’m not saying you should buy me a car, because you shouldn’t, and these kids’ parents shouldn’t either. But how the hell am I supposed to buy my car making 8 dollars an hour? Poker is my solution to this problem.

Let me basically summarize what poker is and what it has done for me: IF YOU READ ANY PART OF THIS LETTER, PLEASE READ THESE FIVE STATEMENTS

1) Poker is a mentally challenging game which incorporates aspects of game theory, statistics, general arithmetic, probability and general gambling theory.

2) Poker has taught me money management skills (bankroll discipline), strengthened my psychological fortitude, improved my personal discipline and helped my logic and critical thinking skills.

3) Poker has taught me how to manage my time. I’ve been playing poker online for much of the past year yet my grades didn’t falter one bit. Yes, you can call me a lazy ass and say that I spend all my time playing poker, but this simply isn’t true. I just don’t do useless and unproductive things such as watching television (something that 90% of kids my age waste time doing).

4) Poker has given me the ability to bolster my social life and to experience things I wouldn’t/won’t be able to without it. I wouldn’t have gone to the UCLA games in Oakland without poker; those two games are something I will NEVER forget for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t have bought my skim board without poker. Money lets me relax and have a good time with my friends.

5) Just like anything else, poker takes hard work. There’s no magic formula. Yes, you must be relatively intelligent (even this could be disputed), but it’s like a lot of other things in life. You must have the talent and the drive. I think that I have both; now it’s just time for me to put in the hours and get results.

To conclude, poker has improved and hopefully will continue to improve my life exponentially. As you may have noticed, with poker, my social life has not gotten worse, but rather it has improved drastically. Even a few people I know have marveled at how I juggle school and poker while maintaining a VERY healthy social life and told me how they respect and admire me for what I do. True, I am no socialite, but I’m much better than how I used to be.

I am not obsessed with the game (I probably was at one point when I first started playing), nor do I want to make it my vocation. It’s just a serious hobby that improves my life in every facet. Chess can be a much more addictive and obsessive game because of the dynamics of the game itself, yet for some reason poker has a much worse image (media, etc).

I do not think poker is morally wrong. The people I’m playing against are trying to take my money just as bad as I’m trying to take theirs…Like the old mantra says: “you play with matches and you get burnt.“ I also plan on donating a small portion of my winnings, to remind myself of the outside world and how I can contribute to it for the time being. Of course, I will pay taxes with money from poker, too.

After reading this, if you still consider my situation to be “out of control” as mom put it, then I just give up. There’s no point in trying to convince you any further if you guys still don’t understand at this point.

Have a nice day,

Jack

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Hey Jack,

I read your whole post/letter. Two things I would mention... First is, a lot of the letter 'I want to do this because of this for me, I want to do this because I can get this, etc..." Nothing wrong with that at all, as all the points in there are valid, but with this letter your intention is to "sell" your parents so to speak. One thing I would suggest including in the letter is qualities that you have that make you a successful poker player that your parents have instilled in you. Also, things you're parents have done to lead you down a good path. Instead of saying that you can buy a skimboard and things like that, include in the letter the value of today's dollar-vs.- the value of a dollar a few years from now. Include investment plans(if you have some), and include your parents guidance in the letter as being a good influence on you wanting to get ahead for these types of reasons. This will creative a much stronger sales pitch when the people you are "selling" to; in this case your parents, almost feel like part of the deal now, so to speak.
2. Maybe take time to show why you can win.... explain the game(hard to do to people who don't play seriously), but explaining odds, statistics, etc. can make them see it's not about luck. Maybe show them PT stats if you have some.

Hope this makes sense, as it's almost 6 am here and I haven't been to bed.

Good letter though. Hope I helped some maybe.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Jack,

IMO, there are so many issues with this letter I'm not even going to pick it apart. I really hope that you haven't delivered this to your parents yet!

The one thing that I will comment on is this: If you are to the point in your relationship with your parents that you need to give them a letter - the problem between you and them likely has little to do with your poker playing.

Think about that.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Dear Mom and Dad,

I decided to write you this letter in hopes of explaining my feelings about poker, seeing as trying to explain in person obviously isnt working. I hope you appreciate my attempt to clear up this issue with as least conflict and noise as possible.

I am not obsessed with the game , nor do I want to make it my vocation. It’s just a serious hobby that improves my life in every facet. Currently I am playing 25 hours a week the equivilant to any other part time job I could be doing in the Summer.

At this point I plan to follow through with all my studies and will even consider relevant internships as I go through college. I understand at this point that getting good experience at times should take priority over just pure short term money making.

Let me basically summarize what poker is and what it has done for me: IF YOU READ ANY PART OF THIS LETTER, PLEASE READ THESE FIVE STATEMENTS

1) Poker is a mentally challenging game which incorporates aspects of game theory, statistics, general arithmetic, probability and general gambling theory.

2) Poker has taught me money management skills (bankroll discipline), strengthened my psychological fortitude, improved my personal discipline and helped my logic and critical thinking skills.

3) Poker has taught me how to manage my time. I’ve been playing poker online for much of the past year yet my grades didn’t falter one bit.

4) Poker has given me the ability to bolster my social life and to experience things I wouldn’t/won’t be able to without it. I wouldn’t have gone to the UCLA games in Oakland without poker; those two games are something I will NEVER forget for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t have bought my skim board without poker.

5) Just like anything else, poker takes hard work. There’s no magic formula. To improve I have had to study hard, reading books, discussing hands and strategy with others. You need some talent which I beleive I have, but also drive and dicipline to succeed, these are life skills I can employ in other areas too.

To conclude, poker has improved and hopefully will continue to improve my life exponentially. As you may have noticed, with poker, my social life has not gotten worse, but rather it has improved drastically. Even a few people I know have marveled at how I juggle school and poker while maintaining a VERY healthy social life and told me how they respect and admire me for what I do. True, I am no socialite, but I’m much better than how I used to be.

Poker will be part of my life in the foreseeable future, hopefully financially it will help me through college. I understand the worries you have but I can assure you that playing poker will not get in the way of any other important areas of my life.

After reading this, if you still consider my situation to be “out of control” as mom put it then I am unsure what further I can do to prove my points. I am happy to answer any questions you have, but hope by this letter you understand I am approaching poker in a controlled mature rational way and keeping my life in balance.

Have a nice day,

Jack

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I started making suggestions, but they were getting too complex so I did an edit.

Your letter initially I think would scare them in some ways and comes across to me as a bit aggressive and confrontational, if it were my stepson giving me that letter I would have probably been a touch angry at the tone and nature of some of it.

You need to address their fears more, by para 3 I would almost think omg he is planning on packing in school, when obviously it isnt the case.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

quick question....you are 18, why should you care what your parents think about poker? Do you not consider yourself a responsible adult? Do THEY not think of you as a responsible adult?

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Jack,

IMO, there are so many issues with this letter I'm not even going to pick it apart. I really hope that you haven't delivered this to your parents yet!

The one thing that I will comment on is this: If you are to the point in your relationship with your parents that you need to give them a letter - the problem between you and them likely has little to do with your poker playing.

Think about that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Having to write a letter I dont think is a bad way to communicate sometimes, my gf will on occassion write a note to me, she finds it easier sometimes to express herself in writing, remember everythig she wants to say and have full one way communication.

Sometimes face to face communication isnt effective, ok and sometimes shows there may be problems but there is nothing wrong with trying other ways, if face to face isnt working.

My stepson is going through the terrible teens at the moment and communication is a huge issue and cause of conflict. My GF and I are having to totally reasses how we talk to him and know at this point the relationship particulary with his mam is very strained, at times a letter may well be the better solution to stop the face to face conflict.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
IF YOU READ ANY PART OF THIS LETTER, PLEASE READ THESE FIVE STATEMENTS

[/ QUOTE ]

lol. you have serious problems if you cant get your parents to read a 1-2 page letter you've wrirten specifically to them.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

1 thing you gotta remember Bruin is to get a real job in the world someday your going to need experience. Right now is a time you can get some very easy experience. Yes, the jobs might be crappy, yes the jobs might not pay well but your obviously not going to put down professional gambler on your resume. Your resume is going to look like a black hole during this time.

Why don't you get a part time crappy job, play poker and you'll still have time for friends.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

You should not give this letter to your parents.

It is very confrontational, does not address any of the points that your parents are concerned about, and (no offense) it's clearly written by a child.

You said yourself that your parents understand you're a winning player. Their problem with you playing poker is not that you're a losing player. Their problem is that your priorities are messed up. So your response is to reiterate that you make money (they don't care) and then prove to them that they're right about you getting your priorities mixed up by stating that you won't work more than 20 hours a week because any more would cut into poker time.

To be honest, this letter will do more harm than good. You're still trying to hammer home the same point - that you make money - instead of looking at it through your parents' eyes. This is because you're probably not mature enough to understand their perspective, and this only proves their point.

If you really want to convince your parents that you're taking this seriously, then try to work with your mom rather than preaching to her why she's wrong.

Just my 2 cents, hope it doesn't come off as too harsh.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

NSchandlerisright

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

why do you keep swearing in your letter?

is the "everyone else's parents buy their cars" supposed to be a guilt trip or something? it has nothing to do with anything.

"My life kicks ass right now. It kicks ass because of two main things: the fact that I can drive, and poker."

that was hilarious to me for some reason.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Don't give this letter to your parents because it is badly written, very confrontational, and full of crap that does not address their issues.

Also, you come across as very young/immature in this letter.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

im not going to flame you, im just going to say that giving them this letter would do more harm than good.

rj

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

As someone who is old enough to be your parent, I think this letter is not good and you should not give it to your parents. It is all over the place and rambling. It doesn't give the right impression.

I would not talk so much about the immediate monetary rewards. My guess is that your parents do not care much about that.

I'm not even sure what you are trying to accomplish with this letter. What are you trying to convince them to let you do?

I think the smart thing would be to get some kind of part-time summer job for about 20 hours a week and stil play your 25 hours of poker a week. That way you will have a guarantee of some income even if the poker doesn't go well. It is very possible for you to run bad for a whole summer and have nothing to show for it. Plus you will have some work exprience which will help for the next job.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

1. dont mention the 100 or 200 an hour. they will think "lol this kid is so unrealistic no 18 yr old will make that"

2. you need to do more explaining the fact that poker is only a short term pursuit and you have zero intention of it replacing schoolwork or preparation for a career. i think that is what msot parents are worried about, that their kid will stop doing real work in college to play poker when poker will do very little for them in the long run.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

If I got this letter from my son (who is 17) I would say "Congrats son, you are now ready for the real world" As I kick him out of my house. I assume you are still living at home? If you are, you need to respect thier opinions and rules. If youre not, then dont worry about their rules because you dont have to follow them anymore. Their opinions, you should still be concerned with, but that doesnt mean you have to do what they say.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

good luck with all of this bruin

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Before you do something like this, you should fix in your mind what your goal is. You have a dispute with your parents in that you want to play poker and they do not want you to play poker. Your goal is to resolve the dispute so that they will support your poker playing. You should also try to think about why the other side wants what they want and then try to determine what the best course of action is to get what you want and, hopefully, have them get what they want too.

Why do you care about them getting what they want? Well...

If you are going to play poker it would serve you well to be thoughtful about human psychology. One aspect of psychology that comes up all of the time is that once a person takes a position about something they tend to stick to that position and defend it. This is because having their mind changed means they were wrong, and being wrong is bad and makes them feel bad so they try to avoid it by never admitting they were wrong, especially if it means giving in. You will never convince your parents that they were wrong and you should be allowed to play poker. You can argue with them logically all day and they will, eventually, fall back on the argument that they are your parents and they said so. Taking all this into account, the letter you have written is the same as writing no letter; it did nothing to help you get towards your goal.

What would help you towards your goal? Presumably, your parents have a good reason or reasons for not wanting you to play poker. Your mom has voiced one of those concerns: she is worried that you are addicted to gambling or will become addicted to gambling. You have to think about things from your mom's perspective. She was pregnant with you at one point; they were probably excited and happy when you were born. She taught you how to walk and maybe she was sad when you first went to school when you were a kid. And then eventually you became a teenager and became more independent and that probably made her feel bad and scared a little bit, but happy and proud of you too. She can remember when you first learned to talk and now that same person who couldn't even form a sentence is now going to college. Your mom is probably happy and excited for you on one hand but also sad and scared because you are leaving on the other hand. You are not feeling sad like she is even though you are leaving her because you are looking forward to the future and your life; your mother's life, on the other hand, has been you for a long time. She already had the future that you are looking towards, and that future was mostly you. And you are leaving.

So your mother is scared and worried about you. That's all. If you really sit down and think about it, you will see that her worry and concern are completely reasonable and that being angry with her is not an appopriate reaction. Your mother is a human being too and she is really worried and scared you are going to go off and become a gambling addict and ruin your whole life.

There may be other reasons too. Maybe they also think that having an internship or a job will help you later on in life, and they are right. It is a fact that is hard to dispute. There maybe be less obvious reasons like gambling and winning a lot of money may make you not responsible with money. Maybe it will put you in touch with the wrong type of people; I mean if you gamble to make money then by definition you are hanging out with losers. Maybe they are worried you will learn the wrong lessons from them. Maybe they are really wise and are worried you will get trapped trying to make money instead of trying to figure out what you need to do in life to make yourself happy. Making money, buying a house, having a family, that sort of stuff is the myth to happiness; a good part of college will be spent kind of figuring out what you need for your own happiness.

So, thinking about all of that, it seems like a good way to go about getting what you want is to find out what they want and why. A good first step would be, instead of writing an angry letter, simply sitting them both down and asking them why they do not want you to play poker. You could start the discussion like this: "Guys, we have been arguing about this for weeks and we aren't getting anywhere. I am sorry that I have been so recalcitrant, but I wasn't thinking from your perspective. I know you guys really love me and care about me and are only concerned with my best interests but at the same time, I am, obviously, concerned with my best interests too. I am going to be leaving soon to go to college and when I get there I am going to be all alone. I am going to have to learn to make my own decisions and, thinking about it, I realized that part of making my own decisions will be to learn to take into account other people's perspectives, especially when those people have had a lot more experience than I have. So, I wanted to sit down and, instead of arguing, just ask and find out exactly why you do not want me to play poker. What are your concerns?"

When they respond, ask them to elaborate so that you really understand what they are trying to say. And don't defend yourself or your position, just listen to them. You are not going to make any decisions at this talk, you are just finding out exactly why they feel the way they feel. All you are doing is gathering information. Tell them that you really respect their opinion. Pretend you said you were going to play poker and someone you really respect the opinion of said it was a really bad idea.

Based on what they say, it should become fairly clear to you what the next step could be once you think about it for a little while. So listen to them, find out everything you can about why they think they way they do and then tell them that you really appreciate them being reasonable and logical and talking to you. And then tell them that you have a lot to think about and you would like to make the right decision so you need to go think about everything for a little while since it seems like you are impulsive and probbaly need a little extra time to process everything. And then go actually think and try to figure out how you can meet their concerns and also continue to play poker. You may actually realize they are being reasonable and so decide yourself that you want to meet their concerns because their concerns have become yours.

If they are worried about the fact you are addicted to gambling, instead of denying that you are addicted to gambling (since that is what most addicts do) or saying you won't become addicted (nobody ever thinks they will be addicted to anything), you can say that you are concerned that you could become addicted to gambling at some point as well, which you should be. However you feel that the amount of money you can make in your spare time is worth the risk to you. Make them understand the reasons why you have for making sure that you are not or become addicted to gambling. You alluded to, in your letter, that when you first starting playing you might have been obsessed with it. Address that directly; say how you got involved in the activity, overdid it a bit and did not like how it impacted your life in a negative way. And so now you are watchful for similar patterns. Tell them that it has been very helpful for you to have them being concerned about you because it helps you to keep poker, or chess, or whatever recreational activity you are participating in in perspective. Tell them that you hope they continue to voice their concerns about everything, regardless of what the eventual decision is regarding you playing poker. Include them. Don't make it me vs. you. Make it us.


If they want you to get a job, be happy because they are looking out for your best interests. If poker goes away, or you wind up not having the makeup to do it, or you get addicted to gambling or what not you are going to be really
really happy they intervened. Think of the job as investing a bit in your future; you are putting in some grunt hours to hedge against the future being uncertain. You are also becoming a more well-rounded person and getting to experience more of life. The job isn't to make money.

If you address their concerns and think about how they feel, and care about them and having them feel okay you are much more likely to get what you want than if you feel like they are being unreasonable and being jerks to you. They are being very reasonable; they just have a different worldview than you. When you talk to them again about what you thought about, make sure you restate their concerns and highlight any intersection. They are concerned you might become addicted to gambling, say that you are too. They are concerned with your future and are worried about what you will do if poker doesn't work out. You are too. You are also concerned with the present and near future; you would like to have some spending money to have at college and also to be able to possibly build up some capital before you graduate, which is a pretty rare opportunity for a college student. However you want to balance it vs. the concerns about the possible addictiveness and also the fact it will rob you of resume-building opportunities if you do it exclusively.

That sort of thing. You said you would be fine working some job for 20 hours a week, so I think if you do it this way you can think of it not as a concession, but a shared decision between yourself and your parents regarding making the best bet for your future. The best thing about doing it this way is if, at some point like a year from now or two years from now, you are making your $200 an hour playing poker, you can come back to the table and discuss how that fact has altered your concerns a bit and discuss it rationally with them. And if things don't work out, then you have something on your resume and you don't lose any face with your parents. You can say, "Well, I am really glad that you guys were there for me and expressed your concerns to me about poker. I hedged my bet a bit against poker because of what you said and poker did not work out the way I thought it would at all." You don't lose any face at all! It also keeps lines of communication open and free so if you do come down with a gambling problem or some problem down the road you feel like you can talk to them without them saying "I told you so", because they didn't.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

I guess I left out a paragraph at the end, rereading it. Once you know their concerns and they know your concerns, your goal is to simply come up with a solution that meets everybody's concerns. They will be much much more amenable to compromising if they are not giving in. When you approach it in the "I want to play poker because of x, you want me not to play because of y." you can't get anywhere since someone has to give in. But once you start trying to meet everyone's concerns, you can get somewhere. Maybe just having an open discussion and them knowing you are aware of the risks and worry about it too and are vigilant about it may be enough to assuage their fears. Maybe you can come up with a creative solution. They might even have some worry you don't even know about, like some friend or maybe one of your uncles or something is a secret gambling addict and that is why they are so worried, not necessarily because of you. Maybe they saw a show on TV that scared them. Who knows?

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

The bit about other people's parents buying them cars makes you suck dog ass. Only p ussy rich kids have cars bought for them. To conclude, youre a bad person.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

you should try to reach a compromise with your parents instead of trying to convince them that you're better off playing poker than getting a job. remember that in a compromise you will have to give up some goals in order to accommodate your parent's concerns. hopefully in the end you and your parents can come up with a solution that makes both parties happy, even if it's not exactly what either side wanted in the first place.

if you're having trouble approaching your parents, then read rory's posts. they are really excellent guidelines on what you want to get out of your conversations with them. even if you think that your parents are too hard-headed or whatever, just try approaching them anyway. they might be surprised to see you taking the initiative and respecting their concerns, which could make them more willing to negotiate.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

I'm not going to flame you either. But please take this advice, offered from someone a lot closer in age and life experience to your parents than to you. DO NOT SEND THIS LETTER.

If your mother fears that you're at risk of becoming a gambling addict, your letter will confirm her fears.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Dear Mom,

Would you like the Louis Vitton purse or the Tiffany earrings?

Dear Pops,

Hope you enjoy watching the game on your brand new plasma.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Logically explaining this to your parents will not work.
They don't care about poker, they care about you. Don't answer their questions directly, but don't lie either. Just joke around and say you make a few bucks and play for fun.

You never need to explain yourself to anyone. And if you have any common sense, don't ever talk about actual dollar amounts.

IMHO, you are getting way too serious about this.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

If you were my son and you gave me that letter (we wouldn't have an issue about you playing poker as long as you set some realistic future goals, but that's another thread), and you lived at home with me...here would be my response.

Great...good for you...

Rent is $400.
You buy your own food. Cook it mind you, we're not doing it.
You deal with your own laundry.
You pay 1/3 utilties.
Find your own health insurance.
You pay your own car, gas, and insurance.
If you plan to go to school, you pay for that too, or arrange your own financial aid.

If you can survive then, fantastic.

If you live outside of the house and you are paying for absolutely everything, it doesn't quite matter what your parents think. If they are supporting you, based on your letter (because I think it's confrontational and poorly written), then I employ every condition I wrote above.

Good luck.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

I haven't shown my parents this letter and probably won't, but I still think it was a positive thing for me to get my thoughts onto paper in this instance...

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I still think it was a positive thing for me to get my thoughts onto paper in this instance...

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. I stopped reading the original post when it became painfully clear that you do not have the firm grasp on reality that you claim to, and that you do not have a clue as to what your parents are concerned about.

Your letter is all about you and poker and money and your car and your short-term desires. I can tell from your second hand information that your parents are not concerned about anything that you tried to explain or rationalize in that letter.

If you want a family life, tear up the letter and go talk to your parents. If not, drop out and play poker, and reread the previous sentence in 5 years.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Don't give this letter to your parents because it is badly written, very confrontational, and full of crap that does not address their issues.

Also, you come across as very young/immature in this letter.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Jack,

IMO, there are so many issues with this letter I'm not even going to pick it apart. I really hope that you haven't delivered this to your parents yet!

The one thing that I will comment on is this: If you are to the point in your relationship with your parents that you need to give them a letter - the problem between you and them likely has little to do with your poker playing.

Think about that.

[/ QUOTE ]

It doesn't seem at all likely to me that he hasn't, and repeatedly. This seems a strange suggestion.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

nice post rory.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Very snotty, aggressive ending there. If you were hoping to get across your maturity and good judgment with the rest of the letter somehow, the ending completely torpedoed it.

Good thing you don't intend to show it to them.

Also, note that you think your life kicks ass because of two things that are after all fairly trivial. Those reasons your life kicks ass sound like they come from someone still very much a child.

Your life significantly kicks ass in a way that you didn't mention, and your not mentioning it slights your parents. That is, your whole life is being made possible by their caring for you. They'd probably like to think it wasn't taken so entirely for granted that you don't mention it at all, while mentioning things like a skimboard and a vacation to watch a couple of sports events. When you mention the high points of your life and include skimboards but exclude your own family, the least negative thing that could be said about it is that it just doesn't look good.

I don't know your family situation or how reasonable your parents are or aren't, or what kind of backstories all fold into this poker issue and influence what's going on with it. But it sounds like there is confrontation where there should be discussion, and from the tone and general outlook of your letter, it sounds like some of the problem is definitely coming from you. You sound like a kid talking back to his parents instead of an adult talking with his parents.

P.S.: Consider buying a laptop and getting in some of your poker outside the house. There's a Starbucks almost everywhere. It might simply goad your parents less on the one hand, and on the other help them worry less that you're becoming a hermit while all the other boys are out playing cowboys and Indians.

Also, you could take a load off their minds by telling them you're not spending those 25 hours a week playing poker, but compulsively masturbating.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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nice post rory.

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Very.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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Also, note that you think your life kicks ass because of two things that are after all fairly trivial. Those reasons your life kicks ass sound like they come from someone still very much a child.

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The whole thing was about "me, me, me". Me, what I do, what I own, how much money I have, what good times I have. (Not that this is any different than the other 23498 current threads on these forums about 18 y.o.s having a quarter-life crisis.)

Some general advice to all who have not yet finished school and gotten a "real" job. You are sadly lacking in general knowledge and experience, and don't have the information to make life decisions yet. Get as much experience in as many different areas as possible. Getting a degree isn't just about learning facts. It's about being exposed to people and ideas that you aren't normally exposed to while staring at your computer screen. Playing poker full time pays better than playing World of Warcraft, but it doesn't prepare you any better for the real world which you will eventually have to live in, like it or not.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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Don't give this letter to your parents because it is badly written, very confrontational, and full of crap that does not address their issues.

Also, you come across as very young/immature in this letter.

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Wtf! This letter is very well written (esp. considering OPs age).

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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Don't give this letter to your parents because it is badly written, very confrontational, and full of crap that does not address their issues.

Also, you come across as very young/immature in this letter.

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Wtf! This letter is very well written (esp. considering OPs age).

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it's not well written. its just babbling. it needs structure. and i don't see how his age has anything to do with it, he's 18, not 12.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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Jack,

IMO, there are so many issues with this letter I'm not even going to pick it apart. I really hope that you haven't delivered this to your parents yet!

The one thing that I will comment on is this: If you are to the point in your relationship with your parents that you need to give them a letter - the problem between you and them likely has little to do with your poker playing.

Think about that.

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It doesn't seem at all likely to me that he hasn't, and repeatedly.

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What?
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This seems a strange suggestion.

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Huh?

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

[ QUOTE ]
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Don't give this letter to your parents because it is badly written, very confrontational, and full of crap that does not address their issues.

Also, you come across as very young/immature in this letter.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wtf! This letter is very well written (esp. considering OPs age).

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it's not well written. its just babbling. it needs structure. and i don't see how his age has anything to do with it, he's 18, not 12.

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All of that, plus it obviously fails to address his parents' reals concerns, which is the ultimate sign of immaturity here. He is tring to rationalize playing poker and making big bucks and being able to afford lots of toys. They are talking about something else entirely.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

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The bit about other people's parents buying them cars makes you suck dog ass. Only p ussy rich kids have cars bought for them. To conclude, youre a bad person.

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Mad much?

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

I just read the first like 5 replies and they were all negative.

what is wrong with you guys???

Hey Jack, the letter was great, very well written, very to the point and said a whole bunch of things that I've been wanting to tell my parents for a long time.

Good job and hope they take it well, I really don't see how they wouldn't.

EDIT: Jesus christ, I just read the rest of the replies and I'm just speechless. I have been coming to these forums less and less lately, and this thread really makes me want to stop coming completely.

STOP THE NEGATIVITY YOU F8CKING LOSERS, YOU THINK PUTTING PEOPLE DOWN MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON? GO F8CK YOURSELFS.

Jack, it was a good letter, sounded very genuine to me, and I can't imagine it doing anything but good to give this to your parents, at the very least they will take it as a heartfelt attempt to communicate.

Re: Letter to my parents (LONG)
 

Bruin,

don't listen to fire_fly he has no idea what he is talking about. actually on second thought you guys should be best friends!



Fire_fly,

Look at all the negative responses again. Shouldn't that say something to you? It seems really, really likely that his parents will hate this letter.