Random theories you have . . .
 

Inspired by sitting next to this semi-ho . . well, good-looking girl at the NL table yesterday:

"I don't trust people who regularly play scratch-off tickets."

They seem greedy and looking for a quick easy score.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

"There are a lot of idiots who start stupid threads in OOT."

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Inanimate objects are out to get me. Seriously. For example, a wall runs into me. I get pissed and punch it. It brings me more pain. Rigged.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Brunettes almost always sleep without bras on, but blondes almost always do.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Letting people win is often more fun than winning even more so if you don't like them.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
Brunettes almost always sleep without bras on, but blondes almost always do.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is simply not true albiet interesting.

everynow and then i think the world is really like that movie The Truman Show. freaks me the [censored] out. but i dont smoke anymore so its been a while since i felt that way.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
Letting people win is often funner than winning even more so if you don't like them.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Funner is not a word"

Oh wait, no, that's not a theory.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Letting people win is often funner than winning even more so if you don't like them.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Funner is not a word"

Oh wait, no, that's not a theory.

[/ QUOTE ]

you win [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

The bigger the cans the more crazy fits in.

Its cororally, Never trust a chick with boobs bigger then her head.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Hotel California is a song about going to hell, no matter what any of the Eagles say.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

-There's this car, and it runs on water, man. Its got air-cooled, fibreglass engines and it runs on water, man.

-So it IS a boat?

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Acohol actually regresses you through the phylogeny of the human species:

Phylogeny - The evolutionary development and history of a species or higher taxonomic grouping of organisms


After a few, you get more like a big, dumb ape.

Lots more, you're like a lizard, crawling around and resting face down on stuff

Several after this, you're on your back, mouth opening and shutting, and eyes rolled up, like a fish.


Any more, you'll probably lose use of your spine.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

The better the meal, the more cigarettes you have to smoke afterward.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

The responses in this thread...


ROFL

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Here's my theory of self-satisfaction. For all people single; those who masturbate are happier than those who do not masturbate.

I'm a regular Karl Jung

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

i will live 'forever'

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

All people live forever but we live in our own dimensions where we will all live forever, if someone we knows dies it's only because in our life they must die for us to live forever, but they are really living forever in their own dimension.

Post deleted by Mat Sklansky
 

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

People that study psychology often do so to figure out why they're screwed up themselves.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

You consume a .5l can of beer as fast as a .33 l can. This is the best theory I can come up with.

People that study psychology often do so to figure out why they're screwed up themselves.
[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]:(:(:( Not true.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
All people live forever but we live in our own dimensions where we will all live forever, if someone we knows dies it's only because in our life they must die for us to live forever, but they are really living forever in their own dimension.

[/ QUOTE ]

no, they didn't live forever

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

you are much closer than you think. it is just that "living" isn't all it is cracked up to be...it gets better.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Get a new gimmick! Million $ man is old

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

At the drive thru,
The nicer they are to you, the more likely that they screwed up your order.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
You consume a .5l can of beer as fast as a .33 l can. This is the best theory I can come up with.



[/ QUOTE ]

That's not a theory, that's alcoholism.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

No good can come of buying something from a guy wearing a bowtie.

Sausage that comes out of a can is going to be horrible.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Contemporary species are related to each other through common descent, products of evolution and speciation over billions of years.

Yeah, I came up with that one the other day.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Due to my many years of not going to the doctor yet seeming to have avoided any meaningful sickness, I enjoy convincing myself that I've got a mutant healing factor and that I've actually got cancer and any other number of horrible diseases that I'm fighting off.

I also choose to believe that I can stop planes from crashing by the pure force of will.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

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The better the meal, the more cigarettes you have to smoke afterward.

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This is awesome. I started to notice this trend when I would smoke 2 cigs after eating outback. I knew this was the truth after I ate a $100 steak at a classy steakhouse around here and chain smoked the whole way home.



My theory: You must order the opposite of the sauce you want to get at taco bell to not get home and be pissed. e.g. "we want a lot of fire sauce" ... only to find 2 mild sauces in there.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

smoking cigarettes increases my lung capacity

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
Contemporary species are related to each other through common descent, products of evolution and speciation over billions of years.

Yeah, I came up with that one the other day.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nonsense! Everyone knows that all life on Earth was originally created for scientific purposes by the crab people.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ab_people2.jpg

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

All the migrant coffee bean pickers in Columbia must legally change their names to "Juan Valdez", so that all Columbian coffee can be truthfully advertized to be "hand picked by Juan Valdez."

"Go afternoon! I am Juan, this is my brother Juan, my wife Juan, and our three children, Juan, Juan and Juan."

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

LOOK LIKE CRAB, TALK LIKE PEOPLE

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

China's going to announce itself as the world power with a dominating performance at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
LOOK LIKE CRAB, TALK LIKE PEOPLE

[/ QUOTE ]

http://filter-kom.de/tonygorilla/gfx/Crab.jpg

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

You know when you're sick or hungover and you're close to throwing up, and your mouth starts to fill with saliva? To me, that saliva tastes different than regular saliva, and I believe that it's some sort of serum that will keep me from throwing up.

I think this is either a common belief or absolute truth, but I think that manufacturers of larger-ticket items (computers, cars, etc) have the tecnhnology to produce products that are far more poweful and durable than they currently do, but they don't because doing so would kill their bottom line.

I believe that the advertisers of America believe that white people believe that black people have superior barbecue skills.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

The better the weather the louder people play music.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think this is either a common belief or absolute truth, but I think that manufacturers of larger-ticket items (computers, cars, etc) have the tecnhnology to produce products that are far more poweful and durable than they currently do, but they don't because doing so would kill their bottom line.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://sankofastore.com/catalog/images/chrisrock.gif

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

[ QUOTE ]
Here's my theory of self-satisfaction. For all people single; those who masturbate are happier than those who do not masturbate.

I'm a regular Karl Jung

[/ QUOTE ]

That sounds like common effing sense to me.

Re: Random theories you have . . .
 

Occasionally eating stuff that's past the expiration date is good for you because it keeps your immune system in shape.