My two 'rules'

[Gelford]

Seem that I'm finding less and less time to hang around here, so as a testament I restate my two 'rules' of poker as previously seen in the brew.

It is not elegant, but it is the best advice I can give on here in the dungeon.

Now go pwn! .... GL all.


Gelfords 1st rule of poker.

Do NOT refer to other players as Donks, Retards, Moron, Ghey or whatever you might think of.

Think of them with regards to their characteristics, like tight preflop, but tends to chase postflop or loose aggressive preflop and flop, but shuts down on turn or tight aggressive preflop, but tends to bet cbet larger on whiffed flops ... etc.


Losing to a retards is a one way route to Tiltville ... losing to a loosepassive player whom you played perfect, but unfortunately his draw hit making it a nice hand is more tolerable.

Gelfords 2nd rule of poker.

Your dick is smaller than you think

[kaz2107]

im considering printing this out and taping them to my desk since i have far too big an ego at the table at times

[Khumalo]

[ QUOTE ]
Your dick is smaller than you think

[/ QUOTE ]

Noooooooo!

*kills self*

[EMc]

I approve.

[Gelford]

[ QUOTE ]
I approve.

[/ QUOTE ]


That means a lot ... thx EMc /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[HBomb]

You sure you're not infringing on David Sklansky's less known book, "Don't be a dick, don't call them a donk"? Or his other book "Play better poker: Winning Ego Matches"

[RobTheDuck]

[ QUOTE ]
"Don't be a dick, don't call them a donk"?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, but the working title was eventually changed to the more well-known "Theory of Poker"

[Student Caine]

I heard that Rule #3 is: "Ubernit 4tw!"

[mdm13]

people who insult others at the table for poor play should just be grateful recipients of their sklansky bucks

[jjb108]

I am usually fine with bad play. My limit however is losing AA to the same villain w/in 2 hands at 2 separate tables. The first he pushes over my 3bet with 55, he rivers str8...second he is short stack and calls AI for 20bb with 23o, he rivers str8.

I called him horrible. He tightened up tremendously.

Luckily, I got my money back when he pushed 77 pf. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Dallas Dru]

way to go gelford.. more people need to think this way.. poker demands respect among fellow players and players who think otherwise are just tarnishing the game.. there is no need for foul mouth and disrespect. there is only one way to beat a player and that is one the felt.

BEAT THEM WITH YOUR CARDS NOT YOUR MOUTH

[gedanken]

I think what the gelford is getting at with rule 1 is that you shouldn't THINK of your opponent as simply "donk" or "moron", but a more useful "loose-passive draw chaser", or "lagtard that doesn't know there's a 'check' button".

I can't follow the logic of #2 at all...

[calde]

it means that you are not such a good player as you think

[NL Newbie]

So good players are rich, have skills, and a huge [censored]? wow bastards.

[AZplaya]

rule #2 doesn't apply to me. I just checked to make sure.

[woohoo88]

I read something that kinda fits in with these ideas that helps me. Which is just that poker doesn't owe anyone anything. So don't think you ever deserve something.

[Tickner]

[ QUOTE ]
Your dick is smaller than you think

[/ QUOTE ]

HOLY [censored] YOU ARE RIGHT

[maciczka]

nope, my girlfriend thinks the other way.

[Gelford]

[ QUOTE ]
nope, my girlfriend thinks the other way.

[/ QUOTE ]


Right ... GF's always tell the truth /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Gelford]

[ QUOTE ]
I heard that Rule #3 is: "Ubernit 4tw!"

[/ QUOTE ]


Hehe ... yeah, perhaps I should do a post on a the übernit, but nah .... the ubernit is just either safe or lazy poker, it is not good poker /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[kolotoure]

IMO almost all players that berate suck/tilt hard. Gelford are you always grumpy?

[Gelford]

[ QUOTE ]
IMO almost all players that berate suck/tilt hard. Gelford are you always grumpy?

[/ QUOTE ]


Yeah ... more or less /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Mr_Pathetic]

[ QUOTE ]
IMO almost all players that berate suck/tilt hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ain't that the troof. I now put the estimate that tilt has cost me 5 ptbb over the last 28k hands. Check minraisers kill me. Although I now know how to punk them so that should be over now.

[ev_slave]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
IMO almost all players that berate suck/tilt hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ain't that the troof. I now put the estimate that tilt has cost me 5 ptbb over the last 28k hands. Check minraisers kill me. Although I now know how to punk them so that should be over now.

[/ QUOTE ]

5PTBB/100? Or just 5PTBB? Because that's pretty danged
relaxed over 28k.

[ QUOTE ]
I approve.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this in reference to the post? Or is he making Gelf feel better about #2 and that it's actually a "nice size."

Sorry... everyone's making penis jokes but seemed to have missed that one.

[NL Newbie]

How was theory two established :\

[Mr_Pathetic]

5 PTBB/100 as in like 2 buyins in a session easy. I can name off at least ten buyins off top my head that I have pissed away getting overly aggressive when I know better all because I am pissed off. I have stopped playing more then two hours at a time due to it.

Example. I have AJ flop is 558 I get donked for half pot, I raise, he reraises, I am pissed cause he been check raising me and minraising all my donks so I shove and he snap calls with 99.

[guitarizt]

If I followed rule #1 I could have saved myself at least 8-12 buyins in my last 20k hands.

[jocke4]

<3 micro stakes, some people cant fold preflop.
I dont know how many times people calls with AX and out flop you when you hold kings.
Doesn't matter if you raise 3x 4x or 19x bb.
Well im not complaining though +ev in the long run.

also lately i've seen a lot of "self claimed pro's" donking off with bluffs and then calling everybody donks in the chat, quiet nice.
Lots of people from Italy that swearing to you in their language. rofl.

[Unknown Soldier]

lol, nice post gelford

[Xanta]

WTF I MEASURED

[ev_slave]

[ QUOTE ]

Lots of people from Italy that swearing to you in their language. rofl.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean "Italian?"

[Student Caine]

Haha, when you posted 'nah' right there it reminded me of the quote for your video where you flop TPTK plus a FD with AKs and state "We could maybe try and slowplay this but 'Nah'"...that part makes me lol irl.

You are definitely right about the ubernit though...I had to abandon it a while back as the weekday UB crowd is tighter than the proverbial virgin on prom night. So they won't pay ubernits off at all.