The effects of sex crimes on the victims

[Prodigy54321]

there is no doubt that molestation, rape, etc. do tremendous psychological damage to the victims..

my questions is..Does it have to be that way?

what is the reason that people are so damaged by these things...

it wouldn't surprise me if many people regard these acts as even worse than murder.

being raped by a man certainly wouldn't be on my list of things that I would like to do before I die..but I simply don't see it as even in the same realm as being murdered, or even simply brutally beaten...as a matter of fact, except for the pain itself (shudder), and of course the risk of STDs, etc..I'd almost take being raped over being punched in the face (alright, maybe not that far, but you get my point)

what could the reason be for being so affected by being the victim of a sex crime?..

do you think it has more to do with the attitude of society towards these things? or is there a lot that is inherently damaging about being the victim of a sex crime..say, moreso than another intrusive crime, such as being physically assaulted and getting the crap kicked out of you.

could there, perhaps, be a clear evolutionary reason why we despise these acts so much..I can't think of any.

[PattdownManiac]

Basically you're asking why women don't take being raped like a man might take being beaten up? I'd guess the sense of violation. You wouldn't feel violated if a man jammed his piece into you, banged you, and ejaculated inside you? That's different than being beaten up.

And women fear that it'll happen again. Since there isn't really much they can do to stop it vs. someone who is determined. It's not like you are going to get beatdown outside a bar, have a heavy sense of sexual violation, and fear it could happen again at any time.

[ChrisV]

When it comes to psychological damage, it's fruitless to look for non-psychological reasons why the damage "has" to occur. There is likewise no real reason why people have to be traumatized by bullying at school or work, or be psychologically damaged by having fought in a war. In fact some people, such as sociopaths, really DON'T care about being bullied or humiliated, for them it just doesn't register. Likewise, some people find the subjugation and humiliation of rape very traumatising, some people don't. It's just a matter of how your brain is wired.

Rape is viewed the way it is largely because it's a violent crime against women. Assaulting women is viewed much the same way in the community. In fact, male-male rape is routinely seen as much less serious; witness the complete acceptability of "don't drop the soap in the shower" type jokes about prison life. Can you imagine the widespread rape of women in an institution ever being acceptable comic fare?

Rape is treated as a very serious matter in the law partly because of community attitudes, but also largely for reasons of deterrence. There are more men out there willing to ignore a "NO, get off me!" than there are men who want to beat women up.

[She]

Personally I think it has to do mainly with the culture. (Guessing you're from the US?) From what I understand, rape is considered a more heinous crime in countries that value virginity and chastity. Therefore the cost to the victim is higher than it would be in a promiscuous society. Chastity also seems to be valued in women more then it is in men.

I honestly don't think that rape has to be considered as traumatic as it commonly is.. Granted, I don't have anything to compare it to, but I still don't think it is as physically damaging as many alternatives.

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And women fear that it'll happen again. Since there isn't really much they can do to stop it vs. someone who is determined.

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Self defense classes. Pepper spray. Concealed carry permit. (And yes, I'm working on all of these currently.) Also, if I remember correctly, most rapists specifically search for "easy victims" who aren't as likely to fight back, and then have a tendency to get discouraged rather quickly if they do.

[SNOWBALL]

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Self defense classes. Pepper spray. Concealed carry permit. (And yes, I'm working on all of these currently.) Also, if I remember correctly, most rapists specifically search for "easy victims" who aren't as likely to fight back, and then have a tendency to get discouraged rather quickly if they do.


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what self-defense training are you doing if you don't mind me asking? I do Jeet Kune Do and Judo 10 hours a week, but I know a good brazilian jiu jitsu or sambo guy could still easily rape me. We do some BJJ-esque groundwork in judo, and it seems like there are a lot of really good techniques that would be useful for performing a rape, and for preventing one. Unfortunately, I'm pretty bad at judo, so until I get better, I'm gonna cross my fingers that no one tries to rape me.

BACK TO TOPIC

I've wondered the same thing about rape. Is there any good objective data on the effect it has on a typical victim? It seems to me that even if the average psychological damage weren't that bad, people wouldn't know. The reason is that the worst cases of trauma would be highlighted by feminist groups. Rape trauma centers should have some useful data, but it would still be a biased subset of women who felt traumatized enough to need treatment.

Also, who in the hell would speak out saying "I got raped, and it wasn't that bad!"

[Kaj]

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what could the reason be for being so affected by being the victim of a sex crime?..

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I think the "so affected" part is mostly in the area of sex. Since your ability to have a healthy sex life is very much driven by your psychological responses to sex, it is easy to see why a sex crime victim might have some issues -- not everyone, but a significant percentage. The difference to your examples is that the violence is associated with an act that is part of life outside the violence. It's one of the same reasons (in my opinion) that food addictions are so rampant in our society. You can quit alcohol cold turkey. You can't quit food ... ever. And you can never get punched in the face again or assaulted, but odds are, you will have sex again.

[SNOWBALL]

aren't women designed by evolution to be selective with their mates? It seems like having an extremely adverse attitude towards unconsensual sex would be a good component to that.

[Kaj]

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aren't women designed by evolution to be selective with their mates? It seems like having an extremely adverse attitude towards unconsensual sex would be a good component to that.

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By its nature, sex can be somewhat of an expression of "violence" ... some women already have enough trouble with it without having to be raped. I fail to see why its hard to understand that some people don't take well to it.

[NoahL]

Forget culture. A man puts his shlong in me, and I am not happy. How could you possibly take being beaten up anywhere near the damage of molesting someone?

[MadScientist]

Rape hurts physically. Also, there is a lot injury that occurs in resisting it. Plus rapists aren't gentle lovers, they like hurting their victims for the most part.
This is why I think something like date rape needs to be reclassified as a seperate crime as when it is semi-consensual, it is about sex and much less injurous.

OP, your original post makes no sense.
However, i do think that the stigma with having been raped (a common occurence over a woman or mans' life) should be removed as that is mainly social.

[malorum]

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being raped by a man certainly wouldn't be on my list of things that I would like to do before I die..but I simply don't see it as even in the same realm as being murdered, or even simply brutally beaten...

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I recall watching a recent documentary about gang activity in south african prisons.

I remember the numbers leader explaining how he picked men as his "women" so he could have sex with them (he was he explained not gay).
When asked what happened if the victim refused, he said quite matter of factly "I KILL THEM".

I don't think he wanted to hurt his bitches, and there was no indication he wanted to be violent, unless they refused his affection. Infact he described how he wanted to look into their faces while he raped them.
Of course with HIV being endemic in the prison population the victim did not have to worry about wether or not he would ultimately develop aids. That was a given.

I'm not sure but compared to this I think I'd rather take a beating by a group of drunk thugs in a bar.

[PLOlover]

I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.

[vhawk01]

[ QUOTE ]
I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.

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This sounds like 100% made up.

[bunny]

Personally, I think it's to do with the private "sacrosanct" nature of sex vs violence (ie I think it's cultural). Most people would expect to go through life experiencing violence of some sort (even if only at the schoolyard or inter-sibling level) so we are able to process or deal with it when it happens. I think we are much less prepared by our society and/or upbringing to deal with sexual molestation.

[PLOlover]

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:
I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.



This sounds like 100% made up.

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well I mean i did make it up but I think it applies in certain situations. I mean, say we are in a casino and I walk over and take a stack of your chips. If you can just take it back or call security or whatever and get it back you won't feel so bad, but if security tells you there's nothing they can do, and you see me walking around knowing that I stole a stack from you I can pretty much guarantee you are gonna totally steam about it until either a) you take some action to set it right by reclaiming your stack, or what you consider some equivalent punishment to give me, b) somehow sublimate all that mental stuff, or c) enough time passes that you "get over it".

Anyway, it would be interesting to ask real life rape victims about their post trauma recovery and split them into three categories
a) raped only, total victim
b) raped and they got justice, guy went to jail
c) raped, and the woman ended up killing or injuring the guy either in the act or even after the fact.

Obviously c) would be far less common but it is a big world.

[soon2bepro]

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my questions is..Does it have to be that way?¨

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In the society we live in, yes, it's a must.

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what is the reason that people are so damaged by these things...

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Social influence.