Funny email dialogue with Absolute

[banana182]

HERE IS THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE I RECEIVED:

----- Original Message -----
From: Absolute Poker
Date: Tuesday, February 13, 2007 12:21 am
Subject: Bonus Money at Absolute Poker
To: "SCOTTR@UWOSH.EDU" <scottr@uwosh.edu>

Dear BANANA182

First and foremost, we want to thank you for choosing to play at Absolute Poker! We realize that you have a choice when making the decision to play online poker and we appreciate you selecting Absolute Poker.

This is a friendly reminder to let you know that you currently have $22.50 awaiting release from your Pending Account at Absolute Poker. These pending bonus funds will expire on 2007-02-20 if they have not been converted to your available cash balance by following the steps described below.

It`s easy to earn bonus money at Absolute Poker! Simply play in either our ring games or our tournaments and the funds will be converted as you earn points for playing in raked hands and as you contribute to tournament buy in fees. For each hand that you play in (that is raked $0.50 or more and you must see the flop) and for each $1.00 in tournament buy in fee that you pay, you will receive 1 point towards the release of your bonus money. Once you have reached 75 points, $10 will be transferred from your pending bonus account to your available cash balance.

Feel free to email us if you have any questions regarding this process or the expiration of your funds or if there is anything else that we can help you with.

Good luck at the tables & thank you for playing at Absolute Poker!

Sincerely,
Team Absolute

HERE IS MY RESPONSE TO THEIR EMAIL:

--Original Message--
From: banana182
Date: 02/13/07
To: Absolute Poker
Subject: Re: Bonus Money at Absolute Poker[#5431467]

Thank you for the friendly reminder. Had Absolute not decided to change their bonus structure making it practically impossible for a lower-limit player like myself to clear bonuses without playing like a moron, this wouldn't be an issue but thanks for your concern.

AND FINALLY THEIR REPLY:

Dear Mr. Scott,

Thank you very much for your email.

Our play-through requirements to release bonus funds are very much in line with the industry standards, and are in fact more liberal than many of the other top-tier poker sites. It is our intention to continue to provide our players with many opportunities to earn bonus funds. Players that enjoy the games that we host are able to access these funds in a timely and easy manner, without any restrictions that are overly onerous.

Unlike many other sites, we even offer credit towards releasing pending bonus funds for tournament play, recognizing that many of our players prefer this type of action. It may perhaps, seem difficult to release the bonus, but actually, once you distinguish between the tables and tourneys that award points and the ones that don’t, the bonus could be released in the specified period.

Furthermore, the minimum rake required to earn Current Points was decided by Management, and regrettably, we do not have further details regarding this policy.

Thanks for playing at Absolute Poker! If there is anything else we can help you with, please let us know. We are here for you!

Sincerely,

Team Absolute ~ Customer Support
"To Continue to be the Best and Most Trusted"

[Eder]

They need to give like partial points for raked hands to get me back there.

[black_russian]

Now THAT is funny!

[AntonHeat]

Absolute is also gay as they get you with the 2 days waiting before being able to withdraw funds which is -ev as soon as I clear 75points ima leave to Party <3

[E.Z.]

mighty generous of them on those tourney fees. that comes to 13 cents/$1 in rake fees.

in line with full tilt, and the former bodog bonus??
(at least bodog had a good excuse for stopping theres)

[PartyScout]

Hi every1,i was planning on going Absolute start of next month to set the $100NL alite but after reading this post i think i will give there bonus a miss /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Probally go INTERPOKER now /images/graemlins/cool.gif