Platonic Relationships with Attractive Girls

[Speedlimits]

I have this friend that is a very attractive woman. I care a lot about her because she thinks similarly to myself and we get along very well. But I find myself wanting to talk to her about how I feel, and it ends up hurting the relationship.

Before this, we had gone out for a short period of time. She ended the relationship but maintained that we could still be friends. I am coming to the sad conclusion that we cannot be either bf/gf or friends at all. The need to want to be with her is making me filter my speech, and in essence hurting our "friend relationship."

I bought her a really nice xmas gift and told her about it. I said I would give it to her when she wasn't busy. And I have implied multiple times that I "could come over and give it to her" (she lives 5mins away). Yet she keeps delaying and saying she is doing something else when I bring up the issue.

My theory is that platonic relationships with girls you are attracted too cannot work. If you want to be with the girl, you either have to be with her or have NO ASSOCIATION with her. Talking or being with her is pointless if you feel unfulfilled everytime you leaver her house.

I have decided not to give her the gift because of a few reasons.
A) She won't appreciate it.
B) It was expensive and I could use the money
C) She was selfish about it and made me tell her when I wanted to "surprise her" with the gift.

All of this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think the best course of action would be too slowly distance myself and not even visit her when she moves (she is moving 2 hours away for school).

Does anyone believe in this "theory"?

[BluffTHIS!]

This thread probably belongs in the psych forum as it really isn't a philosophy question. But my prediction is that David Sklansky would say that platonic relationships with attractive women (when you aren't in a relationship with another woman) are for suckers and especially the kind of suckers who are religious with "wacky" morals. Unless of course they are very intellectual in which case a relationship would only lead to a deteriotation of his own intellectual abilities per the Einstein/Miller/Snyder rule.

[hmkpoker]

Yeah, if you want her it's just not going to work.

The trick is to make friends with women who like casual sex /images/graemlins/smile.gif

EDIT: This OP definately does not belong in psychology. Psychology is a gambling forum.

[ShakeZula06]

That sucks man. Just got to stay out of the friend zone.

[arahant]

Or with prostitutes. Apparently, you can rape them at will...

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread probably belongs in the psych forum as it really isn't a philosophy question. But my prediction is that David Sklansky would say that platonic relationships with attractive women (when you aren't in a relationship with another woman) are for suckers and especially the kind of suckers who are religious with "wacky" morals. Unless of course they are very intellectual in which case a relationship would only lead to a deteriotation of his own intellectual abilities per the Einstein/Miller/Snyder rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Icame up with this rule independent of those 3 names so I'm calling it my rule haha.

K she just got deleted from my myspace its official.

[arahant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread probably belongs in the psych forum as it really isn't a philosophy question. But my prediction is that David Sklansky would say that platonic relationships with attractive women (when you aren't in a relationship with another woman) are for suckers and especially the kind of suckers who are religious with "wacky" morals. Unless of course they are very intellectual in which case a relationship would only lead to a deteriotation of his own intellectual abilities per the Einstein/Miller/Snyder rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Icame up with this rule independent of those 3 names so I'm calling it my rule haha.

K she just got deleted from my myspace its official.

[/ QUOTE ]

link for the voyeurs?

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread probably belongs in the psych forum as it really isn't a philosophy question. But my prediction is that David Sklansky would say that platonic relationships with attractive women (when you aren't in a relationship with another woman) are for suckers and especially the kind of suckers who are religious with "wacky" morals. Unless of course they are very intellectual in which case a relationship would only lead to a deteriotation of his own intellectual abilities per the Einstein/Miller/Snyder rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Icame up with this rule independent of those 3 names so I'm calling it my rule haha.

K she just got deleted from my myspace its official.

[/ QUOTE ]

link for the voyeurs?

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha you sound like me.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=201 89756

I'm #1 on her f list ahhahaah.

[Speedlimits]

omfg she just deleted me too. that was quick. [censored] b.itch

[arahant]

[ QUOTE ]
omfg she just deleted me too. that was quick. [censored] b.itch

[/ QUOTE ]

hehe...that's funny [censored], man.

she is cute...she should lay off the makeup at 22, though. Maybe that's just me.

[Propertarian]

[ QUOTE ]
My theory is that platonic relationships with girls you are attracted too cannot work. If you want to be with the girl, you either have to be with her or have NO ASSOCIATION with her. Talking or being with her is pointless if you feel unfulfilled everytime you leaver her house.

[/ QUOTE ] I don't know if I would say that they can't work, I would just put the well-being hierarchy in this order:

1. Dating or otherwise shagging her
2. Never seeing her
3. Being friends with her (platonic).

[Philo]

[ QUOTE ]



I bought her a really nice xmas gift and told her about it. I said I would give it to her when she wasn't busy. And I have implied multiple times that I "could come over and give it to her" (she lives 5mins away). Yet she keeps delaying and saying she is doing something else when I bring up the issue.



[/ QUOTE ]

"Gifts are like hooks." - Marcus Valerius Martialis

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My theory is that platonic relationships with girls you are attracted too cannot work. If you want to be with the girl, you either have to be with her or have NO ASSOCIATION with her. Talking or being with her is pointless if you feel unfulfilled everytime you leaver her house.

[/ QUOTE ] I don't know if I would say that they can't work, I would just put the well-being hierarchy in this order:

1. Dating or otherwise shagging her
2. Never seeing her
3. Being friends with her (platonic).

[/ QUOTE ]

There are a small category of girls that are attractive, reasonably fun to hang around with, but batshit insane that you would never want to date. It's a fairly small amount, but banging these girls is best, but a friendship can work too.

[Hopey]

[ QUOTE ]
All of this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think the best course of action would be too slowly distance myself and not even visit her when she moves (she is moving 2 hours away for school).


[/ QUOTE ]

The best course of action is to cut her off altogether. You're losing your self-respect by associating with someone who doesn't think you are "worthy" of her affections. This is not a healthy relationship.

Stop associating with her and find a girl who will appreciate you. The current object of your affection is not worth the heart-ache she is putting you through.

Oh, and if you do take my advice and stop talking to her, be prepared for her to start calling and emailing you all of a sudden. If she's like 99% of the attractive females out there, she'll miss the attention that you showed her and will try to rekindle your feelings for her. However, once she gets the attention, she'll start pushing away again.

The best course is to avoid her at all costs. You'll appreciate this advice a year from now when you look back at how much of a "chump" you were when it came to this woman.

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
All of this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think the best course of action would be too slowly distance myself and not even visit her when she moves (she is moving 2 hours away for school).


[/ QUOTE ]

The best course of action is to cut her off altogether. You're losing your self-respect by associating with someone who doesn't think you are "worthy" of her affections. This is not a healthy relationship.

Stop associating with her and find a girl who will appreciate you. The current object of your affection is not worth the heart-ache she is putting you through.

Oh, and if you do take my advice and stop talking to her, be prepared for her to start calling and emailing you all of a sudden. If she's like 99% of the attractive females out there, she'll miss the attention that you showed her and will try to rekindle your feelings for her. However, once she gets the attention, she'll start pushing away again.

The best course is to avoid her at all costs. You'll appreciate this advice a year from now when you look back at how much of a "chump" you were when it came to this woman.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yah I did I'm selling her gift on ebay. Thanks for advice, new rule for me is if I'm with a girl I am either [censored] her or not associating with her. I guess this is why attractive 1st cousins are so useless...haha