Funniest philosophy joke ever

[sigurrostyp]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np2QHm_9kX0

I just watched this and i was laughing so hard because it related to all the philosophy i have taken at college and football (soccer) which I love. I suppose many of you have seen this before, but I felt like I should post it for those who have not seen it. The middle part of the video with the Yorkshire men is ok, but the thing I want you to watch is the soccer scenes with Germany vs Greece which is the first couple mins and the last couple mins.

Enjoy

[gull]

"Marx is claiming that it was offsides!"

Hahahhahaa. That was very funny.

[sigurrostyp]

[ QUOTE ]
"Marx is claiming that it was offsides!"

Hahahhahaa. That was very funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that is my favourite part of the whole clip

[madnak]

I assume this is the Monty Python sketch? Classic.

[sigurrostyp]

[ QUOTE ]
I assume this is the Monty Python sketch? Classic.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yes, it is a Monty Python sketch.

[Mickey Brausch]

The world famous and important philosopher steps up to the podium of the full, standing room-only amphitheater to deliver his lecture. He begins

"There are really only twelve schools of philocophical thought..-"

A voice from the back of the hall shouts

"Thirteen!"

The philosopher is startled momentarily but continues

"I was saying, there are only twelve schools of philosophical..-"

"Thirteen!", the voice shouts again.

The philosopher is now annoyed so he raises his voice

"THERE ARE TWELVE PHILOSOPHICAL SCHOOLS OF ..-"

"Thirteen!", the voice persists.

The philosopher wants to ignore the interruption and continues loud and clear

"NUMBER ONE, WE HAVE IDEALISM..-"

"Oh. Fourteen, then!"

[Bill Haywood]

Best historians' joke

A young graduate student is about to take his orals, and is getting advice from an old professor.

"What do I do if I'm asked about an historical period I know nothing about?"

"Just say it was a period of transition and the middle class was rising."

[Turn Prophet]

A group of Philosophers are taking a flight around the world together:
Plato, Aristotle, Thales, Parmenides, Anaximander, Heraclitus, Descartes,
Kant, and Berkeley.

As the flight is preparing to take off, a stewardess asks Parmenides, "I'm
sorry, sir, I think you're in the wrong seat. Could you please move?" He
smiles and answers, "of course," and immediately vanishes from existence.

A stewardess later asks Descartes if he would like something to drink. He
answers, "I think not," and disappears in a puff of logic.

Pushing past Descartes' seat, the stewardess asks Thales if he would like
some water. "No," he answers, "I'm not drinking water—I'm drinking Pepsi."
He immediately disappears.

The stewardess then approaches Anaximander and asks him if he would like
some more wine. "No thank you," he answers with a slight belch. "I've
reached my limit." Suddenly, he vanishes.

Having had too much to drink himself, Heraclitus prepares to get up to go
to the lavatory only to find his legs have fallen asleep. "Oh no!" he
exclaims, "I can't move!" and then he puffs out of existence.

Aristotle, bored out of his mind and looking to cause some mischief, turns
to a melancholy Berkeley and asks him what's wrong. "My mistress has
stopped seeing me," he answers as he slowly fades into nothingness.

Aristotle then turns to Kant and asks if he knows the time. Kant pulls out
his watch and says, "Yes, I do." Immediately, he vanishes as well.

Just then, an announcement comes over the loudspeaker. "This is the
captain. I'm sorry, but our landing will be slightly delayed." Plato
exclaims, "shocking! I had no idea." And then, he is gone.

Aristotle, finding himself all alone, shrugs and says, "no matter," only to
finally blink out of existence himself.

[FortunaMaximus]

The "philosophy" of creationism:

Adam: Stand back, Eve, I don't know how big it gets!
Eve: stifles a smirk, doesn't move.

[Philo]

That's more action than I've seen in a soccer game in a long time.

[ScottieK]

One philo joke I remember....

Q: What can you do with a philosophy degree?
A: Think deep thoughts about being unemployed.

ScottieK

[adoah]

two little jokes:

the natural retort to Nietzsche's "God is dead, and man has killed him"?

Nietzsche is dead and God has killed him.

second one is from Ambrose Bierce:

Cogito cogito, ergo cogito sum

keep in mind that these are philosophy jokes before you flame me!